Your Emergency Preparedness Dollars At Work

The air staff at WFMU has grown accustomed to the electronic ravings of our Emergency Alert System unit. Periodically, it starts spitting out nonsense about an officially sanctioned "Unknown Event" which we are duty-bound to inform the public about, under penalty of federal fines. Then of course, there was that certain Tuesday in September when the unit didn't utter a peep, because (as the FCC told us later) certain emergencies (like truths) are "self-evident."

This is the $3,000 unit that the federal government forced us to purchase and install in our main studio so that the WFMU staff could keep you, the public, informed in the event of an emergency. (The fact that the likes of us are entrusted with such a duty should tell you something about the system's shortcomings right there.) But this past weekend, our beloved EAS unit pulled a fast one on us. It issued a "Civil Emergency Message"  issued by "A Civil Authority." Glen Jones was perplexed enought to call me at home about it. Announce it, I advised, and announce it Jones did. We had to announce it - that's the law. But what was the civil emergency - was Canada invading at last? Flaming hailstones? A mysterious odor? And who was the mysterious civil authority making this mysterious pronouncement - the governor? The mayor? The dogcatcher? Ours was not to understand - as broadcasters, we are merely proxies for passing on this momentous piece on non-information to the public at large, the better to quell public fears and sow utter confusion.

Checking the news later, it would be fair to assume that the civil emergency was related to the flooding caused by this weekend's rains. In which case it might have been useful to warn people of something specific, like.. flooding. But the flood warnings ceased a while before the civil emergency warnings began. Ah well. At least it wasn't an "unknown event."

Maybe next time, for clarity's sake, we'll throw on Johnny Cash's German language version of Five Feet High and Rising. (MP3).

Comments

[Zach in Philly]

Yeah, flood warnings seem to somehow miss the public sweet spot.
The "unknown event," per the historic events of this inter-Easter-Passover weekend, could have been the calling of the 144,000. Perhaps it was a message for those with a "need to know." When on earth was that announcement? I listened to the whole show minus a nature call or two ... figures the big moment would come when I was in the can.
As for myself, I always thought that version of "Five Feet High and Rising" was in Spanish. Shows what I know, but I was singin' it this morning as I rode along side of the flooded Schuylkill.

[Jacob Haller]

The announcement occurs around the 2:40:11 mark in the April 3 show, if anyone wants to hear it.

[lefty von righty]

From MSNBC - "Pope John Paul II has died. The news was conveyed in an e-mail to the world's media by papal spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls. The message was simple, "The Holy Father died this evening at 9:37 p.m. (2:37 p.m. EST) in his private apartment."

I think the civil authority was G-d. He had something to tell Jonesy.

[the Other Guy]

I got one of those in Scranton this weekend. Apparently, ours was due to an earlier immediate evacuation warning for two small parts of the city being misinterpreted as an evacuation of the entire county (which is how it appeared on the slip, and probably most TV stations), causing a widespread panic. All in all, it was a fun weekend for radio.

[Chris J]

> figures the big moment would come when I was in the can.

Zach, if you had dawdled there, you might've found out about the rising waters soon enough!

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Does the station have to broadcast a "virtual emergency alert" about this week's outbreak of pneumonic plague in New Jersey and Connecticut?

http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-9/111267916846020.xml

[Guest]

No, just virtual evacuations of the state.