WFMU's Beware of the Blog

WFMU's Stunt Turntable

WFMU recently acquired what we in the radio biz refer to as a Stunt Turntable (MP3), which is to say, we've acquired a Numark TT-100 to aid in the creation of good, freeform radio. This new Stunt Turntable not only plays records, but it plays them backwards, forwards, and at pitches so freely adjustable that many DJs openly weep at the mere thought of it. This Stunt Turntable also has a number of visual elements that are sadly lost on the listening audience due to radio's limited opportunities for visuals. For your further education on WFMU procedure, here are a few recent stills of WFMU DJs pushing the new Stunt Turntable to the limits.

Brian Turner    Liz Berg     Scott Williams     Vicki Bennett     John Allen and Fabio

Art Dorks

Created by Brendan Danielsson, Art Dorks is a gathering ground for artists of the “Pop Surrealism” persuasion.  The online galleries feature established artists such as Chris Ryniak, Charles Glaubitz, Farmer Bob, Nate Williams, Matt Pasquarello and Travis Louie.

The layout is quite beautiful and includes a message board forum and a daily updated blog. Are you an Art Dork?

WFMU's Summer 2005 schedule

WFMU's Summer 2005 schedule goes into effect on Monday, June 13th and runs until October 3rd. There are two ways it can be viewed, in easy table form, or a comprehensive list that includes individual program descriptions, home page and playlist links, and more.

I've translated your franchise... IT'S A COOK BOOK!

Most Hysterical Photographs Of The Year Award goes to The Billboard Liberation Front, who yesterday altered a billboard in San Francisco to feature an obese child (probably a leftover from The Maury Povich Show) in sick Ronald McDonald make-up, an alien, a McDonald's golden arches logo, and the words "TO SERVE MAN." The clincher was the animatronic Ronald McDonald feeding a cheeseburger to a mannequin of the enthusiastically wide-gomped fat child, both sitting right in front of the billboard. The perpetrators then dressed as screaming versions of Ronald McDonald and Hamburgler, and celebrated with chants and helium balloons of Ronald's head. Turns out the plan for McDonald's take-over of the eating habits of the planet was nothing more than an extraterrestrial domination and enslavement plan lifted right out of a "Twilight Zone" episode. After the celebration in the park (in which some great photos of gasp-inducing Ronalds being cuffed and hauled into squad cars were taken) the BLF then moved... like an undulating sea of yellow, red and white vomit... into a nearby McDonald's location, where the nightmarish reverie commenced. These photos literally had me laughing so hard I spilled my piping hot morning McDonald's coffee into my lap and I'm getting my lawyer on the phone right now! Photos found on BoingBoing and also Laughing Squid. Great photos.

"What Do You Think of Hip-Hop Music?"

Brian Wharton AKA Thigamahjigee AKA Thig AKA Sharkula is Chicago character you can usually find in the Wicker Park neighborhood or on an El platform selling his homemade hip hop tapes and CD-Rs. His odd MC persona has been compared to Kool Kieth and Busta Rhymes.

He recently put out a vinyl-only release under the name Sharkula compiled from years' worth of tracks recorded in studios, on friends' computers, and on his rusty cassette recorder. His most recent CD is called “Martin Luther King Jr. Whopper With Cheese”…if that isn’t a brilliant play on words, I don’t what is.

But my favorite Sharkula/Thigahmahjigee material comes from the cassettes he records of himself walking around freestyling and approaching strangers to ask them what they think of hip-hop music. He often asks for the person’s phone number…”to receive information on hip-hop music.” I’m not sure if the interviewees realize the conversation is being recorded and the tape will be sold for $5, but most give their phone numbers without blinking
(I edited out the phone numbers)

Thigahmahjigee - street tape excerpt #1 (mp3) (NSFW)
Thigahmahjigee - street tape excerpt #2 (mp3)

Read more about Thig/Sharkula here: 1 - 2 - 3

The Robots of WFMU

Everybody loves a good robot or two. Here at WFMU, we have three of them. Two of them call up our DJs from time to time and say things like "telemetry channel - zero zero." From time to time, you might hear one of our DJs announce on the air that they have to go back to music right away because the robot is calling. It's true. When the robot calls, a bright strobe light goes off in the studio, everybody has a seizure and the DJ is supposed to drop everything and find out what the robot has to say.

Our third robot, I can't tell you what he does. But he lives on Mike Lupica's desk and he has an arm that moves back and forth and does stuff. Dave the Spazz opens his show with a robot. You know the one - Hal, from 2001 A Space Odyssey. The one with the heavy breathing who goes "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

The Way To Do A Parade

The people in Nantes, France really know how to do a parade. During a festival commemorating Jules Verne, a giant marionette climbs out of a huge barrel, mounts a mammoth mechanical elephant and parades through the streets. As the parades through the streets, the French giantess takes a shower, sucks a giant lollipop and rests on the elephant's tusks, before she is ultimately hoisted into a giant rocket and set ablaze. Great photo-montage here, with quicktime videos. The site is in French, but just follow the arrows at the bottom of each page. via del.icio.us

Mötley Crüe Drags Indecency to Court

In an unfortunate turn of events, Mötley Crüe has decided to bring the issue of indecency to the courts. The band filed a whiney lawsuit against NBC, who blacklisted the band from appearing on the network ever since frontman Vince Neil let "happy fucking New Year" loose during the New Year's Eve 2004 broadcast of The Tonight Show. Mötley Crüe claims the ban is illegal and seeks damages incurred as a result of it, accusing NBC of censorship in an effort to dodge scrutiny by the FCC.

Although it's high time that the nebulous definition of indecency was tested in the courts, this particular case is not a very strong one. NBC is going to claim that Mötley Crüe violated the network's own internal policies regarding indecency, leaving any FCC-related concerns by the wayside. Not to mention the absurdity of suing a TV station because you weren't invited to appear... Following that line of logic, most of us would have a case against NBC.

We were hoping that both artists and networks would combine their efforts to challenge indecency in the courts, since it's always good for any cause to be backed by a wealthy multi-national media empire or two. Hey, the networks are the ones being fined, so it is definitely in their interest to push the envelope in favor of nailing down a real definition of indecency. For examples of stronger cases that we wish would make it to court in place of the Mötley Crüe suit, read Station Manager Ken's brief history of the FCC's flirtation with fuck by clicking here, or read this post for info on other broadcast incidents worthy of a challenge.

Seven Minutes In Deadwood

The TV show Deadwood has taken the art of cussin' to new heights. Fans of the show are even known as fucknuts. But despite what you may have heard, Deadwood is not all blowjobs, cocksuckers and titlickers. Specifically, in a sample 60 minute episode, 53 minutes of it were 100% curse-free! I painstakingly edited out all the clean phrases and passages from one episode of Deadwood, distilling the show down to its brilliant essence. I now present to you Seven Minutes In Deadwood (mp3, not safe for shit - wall to wall cursing and ethnic slurs). (For fans of the show, this is episode ten of season one, the episode known as Mister Wu.)

Backmasking for Dummies

The problem with backmasking is that there are so many demonic dialects, who can possibly keep up? You can never be sure exactly which evil deeds the Rock Demons are trying to implant in your subconscious. Well, fret no more. Jeff Milner's handy-dandy backmasking site lets you play songs forwards or backwards, and it even displays the secret satanic messages for you while you listen. Who knew that Robert Plant was really singing about an evil "little toolshed where Satan made us suffer" in Stairway to Heaven? So the next time the talking dogs show up at your house wanting proof of purchase stamps for all your evil deeds, you'll no longer be able to feign ignorance. via del.icio.us

Capsular Reviews of Anything 1.0

Murphy’s Law (1986) (edited for TV version)

It is a wonder that I can continue to find points to make about Charles Bronson. He cannot pull off the drunken, washed-up cop, but does deliver some of his best zingers: “Can you count to five?” “Yes” “How ‘bout with no teeth?!?” The forty three year age gap between Kathleen Wilhoite’s Arabella and Bronson’s Jack Murphy make for disturbing sexual innuendos, and in the scoured version, her expletives are replaced with the timeless “Barf Bag!!” and “Dog Snot!!” An odd-couple-on-the-run classic.

Crash (2004) (new Tony Danza vehicle, not Ballard adaptation)

For a preachy, wallowing, disappointing, predictable, Magnolia Jr., this is not bad.

 
Prom Night (1980)

Old men arguing with one another: 97% Actual horror: 3%

Staring into the thin air...

  I was thinking that if the drinking/running club Hash House Harriers was to merge with the ham transmitter-chasing T-Hunters or Bunny Chasers , another club could form comprised of drunks running around the woods looking for radio signal sources.

Speaking of my listeners, two of them sent some blog fodder. Listener Laurie wanted to share Joe Pernice's indie version of MTV's Cribs . Listener Tom inadvertently mentioned poutine which I was ignorant of, and hope to remain so (at least in practice). On the Canadian tip, enjoy the Crucified Mountie visions of painter Michael Harris.

Audio Relay

From Chicago art collective Temporary Services comes a traveling portable pirate radio station:

The Audio Relay is an autonomous radio station plus a music and sound archive. It travels from city to city gathering and presenting the work of musicians, sound artists, documentarians, and people whose work can be listened to. The Audio Relay houses a 4 watt FM transmitter, a folding antenna, a 30 watt amplifier, two speakers, two drawers that hold up to 200 cds, a cd player, two solar panels on a detachable cover, one chair and has storage space for posters and other informative material.

The Audio Relay is compact and easy to move around. Its dimensions are 22 1/2 in. x 22 1/2 in. x 9 in. The Audio Relay can be set up  anywhere. The solar panels provide some of the power. The Audio Relay  can run off any international AC power source or, for remote locations, a 12volt car battery.  The battery can be re-charged by the solar panels or by plugging the unit in to a wall outlet.

The Audio Relay can play music for an intimate audience as well as broadcast material in a radius of up to a mile away.

Audio Relay designer, Brennan McGaffey, also constructs other environmental altering projects such as the Utility-intertied Signal Generation & Transfer which transmits an Extremely Low Frequency signal by using and altering the electromagnetic field surrounding the powerline network in localized areas of the city.

link

The Vivisectionist's Monster Mash

Take a hallucinatory, glue-fumed, nostalgic stroll down memory lane with Ed Moore's gallery of vintage Aurora Monster Model Kit instruction sheets... as well as other ephemera from an era where "dripping blood" typeface was di rigeur, and Vampira's airbrushed cleavage caused more than the dead to rise. The black and white model instruction sheets, with their vivisectional horror icons and M. C. Escher-esque complexities of lines, arrows, grafts and chart intersections, are works of art in themselves, suitable for framing. How old do you have to be to understand something this complex? Perhaps huffing itty bitty jars of model paint and tubes of lemon-scented super glue puts it all into crystal clear perspective. I remember I actually had one of these kits as a little kid (I think it was the Wolfman) and I couldn't bring myself to paint over the glow-in-the-dark plastic, for some reason it seemed blasphemous. Ed's site has tons of info on the artists responsible for the "look" of Aurora and other model companies' product and packaging.

Japanese Manhole Covers

The Japanese make some bad ass manhole covers. via fazed

Russian Art Site

Dont let your ignorance of the cyrillic alphabet keep you from this excellent Russian art site (but do let a lack of bandwidth or flash keep you away). Despite the language barrier, there's tons of chance entries to surrealist and fantasy art sites, like the galleries of Maria Isabel Arango or Ernst Fuchs, Jessiekitty's intriguing bondage blog, world press photos of the year, and the work of P Grik. And of course I had to go to a Russian site to find a great blog from our own backyard, the Wooster Collective's celebration of street art. There's a link there to us as well, otherwise how would I have found this?

The Demented Leftist Cabaret of Kollektiv Rote Rübe

Here are the mp3s of an album called Paranoia by the mysterious German band known as Kollektiv Rote Rube. The album was released in 1976, and was a collaboration between Kollektiv Rote Rube and the better known German band Ton Steine Scherben. At least that's what I think; this band has been a real mystery to me since receiving the cassette from a friend of a friend nearly 20 years ago. If any German speakers can provide their best guesses at the track titles or any other information, please add it to the  comments section. Kollektiv Rote Rube appear to have been a Munich-based theater group who collaborated on this album with Ton Steine Scherben. Beyond that, I dont know much but there is information online in German about them, and they are listed as a musical influence on a Nurse With Wound page. My favorite tracks are the disturbing number five, eight, ten, fifteen, sixteen & the filthiest song I can play on the US airwaves, number seventeen (immer wieder fickin?).

Happy listening: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen.

Summer Drink Specials

With the Memorial Day holiday just around the corner, we could use a reminder about urban summer recreational options. While rollin' with the top down or BBQ-ing on the beach seem to be West Coast-centric hot weather activities, city-dwelling East Coasters tend to prefer malt liquor or cocktail sipping on the stoop.

During a discussion of summertime in Brooklyn, The Professor alerted me to a seasonal drink recipe guaranteed to cool you down after a hot afternoon spent sitting on the stoop:

Thug Passion (Tupac's favorite drink)
            1 shot of alize
            1 shot of hennessey cognac

If reading that doesn't make you feel nauseated, here are a few more urban-themed summer drink recipes:

Gunther and His Ding Dong

OK, I submit. I will create a separate category for Cheesy Euro-Disco.

I received my DVD with the video of Baccara's Yes Sir I Can Boogie a few days ago, and it was terrible. But then, as if The Disco Gods heard my disappointment and wanted to make it up to me, Listener Jon notified me about 2004's huge Euro-disco hit, Ding Dong Song, aka Oh, You Touch My Tra La La, by Gunther and The Sunshine Girls. Watch the video here (streaming wmv file from jengajam). Baccara may dance around suggestively, but Gunther delivers. (Not safe for work due to soft core lesbianism and frothy champagne bottles.)

And check out the GI Joe remix of the same (right click to download wmv file, via ebaum).

Afraid to admit that you like Cheesy Euro Disco? Be not alone.

The Haka

And speaking of sound effects, the greatest chant on earth is The Haka (mp3), the hundred-year old Maori rugby chant of the New Zealand All Blacks team. Hakas also refer to the stance that players take while doing The Haka, and recently, mystery Hakas have been popping up around New Zealand. And oh yeah, The Haka is patented, so don't get any ideas, you rugby teams. Or DJs.