MP3: German language version of the Mr. Ed theme by Ralf Paulsen
Here I am, tiptoeing around the minefield of federal language laws during the most severe FCC crackdown in history, and the first lady's all over the TV, making jokes about the president jerking off a horse! And it's not the first time that the notion of hammering away on a big old slab o' horse cock has been granted this special legal exclusion. Just last November, the FCC ruled that the Fox television show Keen Eddie was AOK, despite its scene of a prostitute jacking off a racehorse.
Now granted, the FCC's decision on Keen Eddie was an agonizing one to make. The vote was 3-2, in favor of Fox, with Michael Powell casting the decisive vote, and we all know what a fan of horse racing he is.
FCC commissioner Michael Copps wrote a scathing dissent, in which he clearly came out against manual ejaculation in favor of mechanical devices. But the Keen Eddie decision followed another FCC decision by a month or so, in which the commission levied the steepest fine in history against Fox for a bachelor party scene on the reality show Married By America, in which the nudity was pixillated, which is to say that it wasn't actually broadcast.
So non-existent nudity warrants a fine in excess of a million dollars, but jacking off a horse is OK. In fact it's so OK, that White House comedy writers decided that Laura's reference to Dubya's member handling would pass muster with the culture of life crowd. After all, Onan didn't spill the seed of a horse in Genesis 38: 9-10, he spilled his own seed. And that's just wrong, wrong, wrong.
Here's a link to a video of Laura's comedy set. And here's the joke in question:
I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there. George didn't know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don't have a real strong ranching program. But I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse.
Dave Letterman's show just showed an unplanned close-up of armadillo sex which included a very visible and remarkably maneuverable armadillo penis.
Posted by: Jeff T | May 05, 2005 at 12:46 AM
Aha -- the EQUINE LOOPHOLE! Now when on-air FMU deejays want to talk about sex, all they have to do is couch it in horsie terms.
Posted by: Chris J | May 05, 2005 at 06:21 AM
Time for a tangent:
Yesterday, because of a tooth ache, I was looking for a dentist in the yellow pages. I'm almost desparate, just looking for someone in my town. Making random choices like this, I usually go with someone whose name seems least unusual (anyone else use this nutty strategy?) I came across a Dr. Hoffer. First name: Jack. I thought "Never heard of the name 'Hoffer' before," and so I was going to reject him. then I realized the guy's name was Jack Hoffer, so I had to give him a call. (Like Smuckers, with a name like that, he's got to be good, right?) Turns out he only does root canals, so I was out of luck. But he did refer me to another dentist.
True story. Maybe not as funny as I think. But check it out, he's in the book. Montclair, NJ.
Posted by: Brian_C | May 05, 2005 at 10:44 AM
I sent a complaint email to the FCC concerning Laura Bush's vulgar joke. Fine her ass!!
Posted by: David R | May 05, 2005 at 05:38 PM