MP3s: Ted Shred's Michael Jackson vs Cookie Monster and Daniel's Death Metal Warmup Exercises (right-click to download, plus streaming Realaudio samples below).
I have to take issue with Program Director Brian's characterization of "Animal" from the Muppets as the most influential musician of all time. I didnt think I would have to explain this to you Brian and I hate to publicy correct you, but "Animal" is a puppet. Made of cloth and wire. He doesn't really play the drums at all. When you watch "Animal" during a drum workout, the drums you hear are played by a session musician working for Sesame Workshop. That Buddy Rich clip was done with puppets and trick photography.
Just because the term "Animal From The Muppets" brings up an impressive 807 google citations doesnt mean that any drummers out there actually want to sound like Animal. So how can he be an influential musician?
I grant you that Animal may be a convenient lynchpin for current drummers and rock writers. But he is far from the most influential musician of all time. He's not even the most influential Muppet. If we seek to honor one musician who has been extraordinarily influential, a lone artist who has singlehandedly influenced world wide musical markets and scenes for over a decade, from the deepest underground to the most mainstream, we need look no further than Cookie Monster.
The genius and influence of Cookie Monster is not revealed by comparative search engine queries. Googling for the phrase "Cookie Monster from the Muppets" returns seven results, while the phrase "Animal from the Muppets" returns 771 results, over a hundred times more. You have me there, Mister Turner.
But revise the search term to "Cookie Monster Vocal" or "Cookie Monster Vocals" and you get 835 results. True, most of those results decry or lampoon the gutteral croaking vocal stylings that dominated Nineties Grindcore (see below). But the apparent hostility to Cookie Monster Vocals are just further testimony to their prevalence and therefore to the widespread influence of Cookie Monster himself.
Metal fans and critics alike seem to think that the style evokes the sounds of hell. Other Metal pundits have theorized that the Cookie Monster style is ultimately derived from Motorhead's Lemmy. In reality, bands employing Cookie Monster Vocals pay homage not to Satan, not to Lemmy, but to Cookie Monster himself. And they pay more than homage - royalty payments on his patented vocal technique have made Cookie Monster the third largest land-owner in the entire state of California. He's not only the wealthiest member of the Sesame Street empire, he is now one of the most powerful men in the entire entertainment industry, regularly socializing at his palatial Napa estate with the likes of Martha Stewart (transcript), Star Jones and Donald Trump. (Pay special attention to the kinky moment at the end of the transcript when Martha ties up Cookie Monster and does her Martha things to him.)
If you're new to the concept of Cookie Monster Vocals, or even if you're not, here is a wanna-be Cookie Monster Vocalist named Daniel warming up the old vocal cords. (MP3 - right click to download. This was a found recording from Napster's golden "mic-in-track" period.) To hear real Cookie Monster Vocalists, click the song titles for streaming Realaudio samples from WFMU's massive program archives:
Dormant Bodies Bursting by Cannibal Corpse on Stefan's 4/15/05 show.
Pinball Map by In Flames on Diane Kamikaze's 7/1/04 show.
To These Worlds I Beheld No Tongue by Theater of Tragedy from my 2/2/05 show.
But the influence doesn't stop there. Cookie Monster has a tribute band - Cookie Mongoloid. Where is Animal's tribute band? Cookie Monster has recorded with Michael Jackson (mp3). Has Animal? There is even an online definition of the style, something that Animal could never achieve - since Animal posseses no actual musical style. Wikipedia's lengthy entry on Cookie Monster makes no mention of the style, but this post will hopefully change that. It must.
At no time in musical history has a person of color exacted such influence over so many. Not to mention a person of the color blue.
Consider:
On Cannibal Corpse: "I really can't understand how people can like death metal. Every song sounds the fucking same! Maybe I just prefer real talent over cookie monster vocals and songs titled "I Cum Blood" Oooohh, I'm sooo scared."
Vector describing themselves: "Influences? Sabbath, Soundgarden, Velvet Revolver, AIC...anything that doesnt suck really (aka emo crap, cookie monster vocals crap, crap crap)"
On Saved by Grace: "This is worse than cookie monster vocals since The Cookie Monster could usually be understood."
On Death Metal in general: "Only a retard/poser would be unable to see how idiotic Cookie Monster vocals are."
On Slayer: "Anything with Cookie Monster vocals has got to go, and keep going until the Doppler effect is not longer in play. i am adamant about this. Screaming vocals can be okay, but no Cookie Monsters."
From Ad Seeking Vocalist: "Will accept Female or Male singers, no screamers though, want actual vocals, Cookie Monster vocals need not apply."
On Grindcore: "Signatures of grindcore include the crunching guitar sound, the 1000mph "blast beats" which derive presumably from hardcore punk, and a general tendency for drummers to throw mini temper tantrums in the middle of every song, and finally and perhaps most importantly, the vomiting "cookie monster" vocals, which in addition to sounding like that unforgettable Sesame Street character probably derive most from Motorhead's Lemmy's croaking voice."
On Eternal Silence: "I love the music but cannot get past the cookie monster vocals."
On Opeth: "the cookie monster vocals are a bad joke to me, except Damnation which hovers around 3 stars for me"
On Marduk: "these guys sing in there stupid "cookie monster" vocals and guitars tuned so low that it sound retarded"
From Ad Seeking Band Members: "We wanna make thrash metal with a heavy rythm to it. The kind you get from Machine Head, Rammstein, and some 80's thrash metal bands like Megadeth, Metallica, Slayer etc.. We don't want cookie monster vocals."
Cookie Monster is currently appearing at the John Golden Theater in New York City, playing the role of the Pornography Connoisseur Trekkie Monster in the current production of Avenue Q.
His work can be heard most frequently on the programs of Stefan, Diane Kamikaze, Professor Dum Dum and Vortex of Chaos.
Ken Freedman is in no way affiliated with Sesame Workshop, The Jim Henson Foundation, the band Cannibal Corpse or Cookie Monster Productions LLC.
And what of the obvious influence of Cookie Monster on Buju Banton and other similarly gruff Jamaican DJ's???
Posted by: dave | May 17, 2005 at 12:33 PM
Or the obvious: Tom Waits.
http://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=gd&q=%22cookie+monster%22+%22tom+waits%22
Posted by: Irreverend Mike | May 17, 2005 at 12:58 PM
Let's not forget his classic hip hop single, "Crookie Monster"... produced by Agallah.
Posted by: joey Headset | May 17, 2005 at 11:51 PM
Animal was a MUPPET not a PUPPET!
Posted by: Kevin Gilmartin | May 21, 2005 at 12:17 PM
I guess you don't understand what you call "cookie monster vocals"
Posted by: Zac | June 16, 2005 at 01:38 AM
Dude, love the Animal/Cookie Monster articles. I love those two characters so much, as far as I'm concerned, both are Most Influential Musicians of All Time. My love is too strong to choose between the two legends, however I've for a long time, tried to find a comparson type article on children's televisions two best creations so I was overjoyed to find this site and your sites are probably the closet to me ever finding something like that, thus you've warmed my heart.
Posted by: Dev | August 12, 2005 at 05:41 PM
John Lennon does a mean Cookie Monster, as well.
Posted by: Clayton Counts | November 17, 2005 at 05:56 PM
Now see, Cookie Monster was a Muppet, but he wasn't "from the Muppets," per se.
Posted by: Eric | November 19, 2005 at 12:16 PM
Well you know say me think that Cookie Monster look like some Original Bandooloo Rude Bwaai wit that day pistol and him 'tief wit long bag' as Buju Banton him woulda say. But Cookie Monster no want kill Batty Boy, Cookie Monster just want kill COOKIE!!!!
Posted by: Dreadneck | February 06, 2006 at 12:28 AM
Cookie Monster is by far the better than Animal. But I must say you are all wrong. Hoots the Owl is by far a better musician and influencing musician than Cookie Monster and Animal Combined. When you type him in google you get 135,000 hits. Granted not as much as lets say Cookie but his saxophone playing has influenced many young musicians to learn to play Alto Saxophone.
Posted by: Julie Katz | May 14, 2006 at 02:12 PM
"C is for Cookie" anyone?
See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_grunt
Posted by: jmr3 | September 06, 2006 at 09:41 PM
Cookie Monster also made an important contribution to disco.
Posted by: lauren | March 31, 2007 at 03:04 PM
I used to be among the many who ridiculed and dismissed death metal grunts as a joke until I attempted them myself. Even if you don't like them you can't say it doesn't take effort and talent to do them, the breathing excercises and lung capacity to maintain that low tone of voice does take practice.
One thing that I have a problem with is you grouping Cannibal Corpse in with 90's grindcore, Cannibal is Death Metal. For those in the underground there is a world of difference and to mislabel a band could be met with great hostility if you're talking to a particularly adamant fan.
Other than those few points, really amusing article! Keep the Faith!
Posted by: Wolfgang Frost | December 02, 2008 at 12:17 AM