Last Call for Baubles, Bangles, and Beads

Caf-Tunic? Check. Fiesta skirt? Check. Something still missing from your stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe hot weather wardrobe? Chee-eck. And with less than six weeks left to work the urban affectation of Faux-Ho Realness (For She Who Is Truly Unbothered), those attempting a trendy trifecta had better kick their peasant-look portfolios into overdrive before the blush is off that gypsy rose for good. The most expedient way of spicing up your meow mix is with accessories. For this, we turn to the ever reliable army of New York City street vendors.

While department stores mark down countless SKU's of gauzy dreck to make room for B-T-S (back to school) and garmentos  anxiously await the hernia-inducing heft of September Vogue, street vendors are patiently plying their trade in the ephemeral realm of the here and now. They've got what you want this minute with a price that's right given the impending "sell by" date. Here's a short list of "buy now or forever hold your Sienna Miller shorts with cowboy boots" stuff that we're seeing on the street and in the dog-eared issues of InStyle that I peruse  while basking in my Pedi-Throne at the local Bloomie Nail salon.

Shiny Happy Handbags
Spotted all over town - metallic, mesh, and paillette satchels baking like big ole potatoes at a Tad's Steaks. These designer knockoffs are large enough for emaciated Lindsay wannabes to roll themselves up and toss themselves into after a hard night.

Ali Baba Slippers
In this evening's performance, the role of  Chinese Mesh Slipper will be played by Sparkly Punjabi Juttis. We haven't seen this many beaded slippers since the Poughkeepsie Playhouse revival of "The King And I."

Giant Low Slung Belts
A tricky proposition when crossing an already broad expanse (you with the Blimpie Ultimate Club Sub I'm talking to you!). They say these can be cinched over everything from dresses to jeans but we've already seen an outbreak of grommeted Moroccan Disc belts  riding herd across the haunches of women who should know better.

Kakui Beads and Wooden Bangles
Bulging bulbous beads from Hawaii and jingly jangly armfuls of exotic wood say "Yeah, I'm eco-aware but damn I love me some reclaimed rosewood with inlaid mother-of-pearl tracery!

Nicole Richie Sunglasses
Always a street vendor staple, this year's crop of outsized orbifiers are designed to conceal all traces of too many trips to the ladies' room. Best worn when the size of the shades is inversely proportional to the width of the wearer.

 

Comments

[Kat]

I presently live in Chicago but spent a few interesting years in Manhattan. You've actually made me feel nostalgia for Canal Street!