Month of the Month Club: September

There was a lot of debate in our recent editorial meeting, but this month in the Month of the Month Club we feature...September! There are just a boatload of Months in September. Who needs all these extra Months? Schoolteachers, direct marketers, dj's, and anyone else who can use a cheap programming hook.

Months to Freak You Out:

• National Food Safety Education Month. Slogan: "Keep Hands Clean with Good Hygiene." 
• National Preparedness Month. They have a coalition of the willing to freak you out. Slogan: "Get a kit, make a plan, be informed, and get involved," which is about three things too many for me to do. May we suggest: "Keep Hands Clean with Good Hygiene."
• National Ovarian Cancer Month. "'Turn up the volume' on the disease that whispers." In case you were wondering what that shushing noise was down there.

Months That Suck:

• National School Success Month. You can't buy me with promotional items. Well, wfmu can, but you school people can't.
• National Head Lice Prevention Month. How can you not love a site that says "Welcome to Headlice.org."

Mystery Months:

• National 5 A Day Month. I'm trying to think of what I have 5 of a day, and I don't think it's vegetables.
• National Youth Court Month. Royal adolescents? Romantic teens?

Months To Be Aware of:

• National Sickle Cell Awareness Month
• National Skincare Awareness Month
• National Menopause Awareness Month
• National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. They have a coalition of the willing to cough. Arnold Palmer says, "There's no I in prostate cancer."

Months I Can Safely Ignore:

• National Self Improvement Month
• National Women of Achievement Month
• National Library Card Sign-Up Month, which promotes the "Smartest Card." (mp3)

Months When Somebody Could Put an Eye Out:

• National Sewing Month. "Sewing: The Alternative Yoga."
• National Baby Safety Month
• National Sports and Home Eye Safety Month
• National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month

Months That Can Fuck Themselves:

• National Courtesy Month. Make that: Months That Can Please Fuck Themselves. Thank you.

Comments

[Brendan]

I once had head lice, it is brutal, and there is good info on this site.

-Brendan