David Copperfield to 'magic' girl pregnant onstage--'magic' meaning to knock her up without physical contact. If he couldn't 'magic' his way into a girl's pants in high school, why should it work now? He should try to 'magic' me interested in his magic.
Doggy style. Meat-flavored condoms for dogs didn't work, surprisingly. Dog owners were left with pregnant puppies after dogs ate the condoms.
Birds do it, bees do it, single celled placozoans under seas do it. Even the world's simplest animals have sex. But you're still not getting any. You and David Copperfield.
And animals in art do it. The Kinsey Institute gallery in Indiana is having a show called "Passionate Creatures" about animal imagery in erotic art. I didn't know we were allowed to exhibit such things any more, even though the art and objects are from the past 2,000 years, so at some point somebody must have been OK with it.
Sixth Dalai Lama: poet/playa.
Just in time for the holidays: life-sized silicone sex dolls. Not creepy at all. Just read the testimonials. So not-creepy.
Leather-free bondage gear. Denim--it's a classic. Not as classic as leather, but good enough for a garden party. (As modeled here by Mike Lupica.)
Florida grandmother opens erotic-art museum.
Olde Timey Porne. Go stag at stagworld, cheap pulp men's mags of the 50s and 60s. Drop your (under)pants at Art Frahn: A Study of the Effects of Celery on Loose Elastic. Send a postcard from retroraunch.com [via]
Sex offenders gone missing after Katrina.
Checking in on past stories in This Week in Sex:
- That mythical but actually really real giant squid. Turns out it's a giant homo/in-need-of-glasses squid. At mating time, word has it the male tries to get his penis, a "high pressured fire hose" as long as his body, around the "chomping beak" of the female, who is 1/3 larger than him, to insert his sperm packets in her tentacles. By all accounts (there are no accounts) this is not the romantic encounter you might imagine, because giant female squid do not like being punctured with a fire hose full of sperm packets. Inseminated males have washed ashore, and horny scientists speculate that they either miss the females and inseminate themselves (can I get some squid 'magic'?), or "bump" into male squid by mistake and impregnate them (the squid say, "Um, it was dark down there. It happens.").
- Putting things up your butt. The Cutie Bunch Friendly Pal Pack do it, but in a cute friendly way. Sort of.
- Remember when This Week in Sex was This Week in Meat? That was the best week ever! I own this cookbook from when you cooked the shit out of a gristly knob of beef and it was goooood.
Thanks to SM Ken and Aaron.
Finally. At long last. To those who wait, good things come. Thank You, Amanda!, for the fine, fine point about single celled placozoans doing it. For a good time, now, this has been a short stop to conversations leaking into the banal sex topic. Reminding a horny human that his or her libido manifesto ranks all the way up there with -- I usually stop at insects, but the reference, as everyone is oft reminded, goes all the way down to plants -- something lower on the food chain has a potently deflating effect on the exchange. Thanks, doubly, whether intended as such or not, for the Nick Cave reference in the phrasing choice.
Not sure if it's my service provider or the site, but the real dolls link(s) are not happening = a non-scary "boo":-)
I was late for supper when the Week was Meat ... my attendance has been somewhat spotty ... fave week, so far: the one that included "Girls with Glasses." Talk about more bang for the bifocals.
toodles~
(an' keep up the great work!)
Posted by: Zach in Philly | October 26, 2005 at 10:06 PM