WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Virtual Drums N' (Kee) Bass

If you haven't been to the Audio Playground Synthesizer Museum lately, its founder Joseph Rivers has done some amazing work compiling virtual models of many vintage drum machines, everything from the Boss Dr. Rhythm R-55 to those crummy Mattel Synsonics drums of the 1970's. There's also a page with a ton of sampled Soundsheets (also known as Flexidiscs) from synthesizer and drum machine manufacturers (like Linn) and even more virtual keyboards, including the Rheem (probably better known for their water heaters) Kee bass keyboard, featuring switchable "Mellow/Fuzz" mode.

WFMU in the News: Mixed Bag

This week a myriad of current WFMU press clips:

WFMU Keeps All Us Weirdoes Tuned to the Same Wavelength  - Francis Joseph Smith reports on his experience recently volunteering at the 2005 Record Fair.  "A weirdo is someone who goes beyond the norm and operates entirely on their own frequency. Sometimes they happen to hear each other out there in the ether, but it takes a station like WFMU to bring them all together. Once you’ve got a bunch of weirdoes in one place, no one is really that weird anymore."  Nice!

Online Radio:  A Weird Wonderful World - Mary Coyne Wesling writes about her two favorite discoveries in the realm of online radio.  KUCI's "Lesbosmak", and WFMU's Seven Second Delay.

Alive and Rocking in Berlin:  An interview with Jason Forrest - Melanie Cohn speaks with Jason Forrest, formerly known as Donna Summer, host of Advanced D&D, about his musical endeavors, art, and life in New York vs life in Berlin. 

Country in the City -  Kurt Gottschalk writes for the Village Voice about the country music scene in New York City.  Radio Thrift Shop proprietress Laura Cantrell speaks up on the state of radio in relation to the development of this scene.

No Wave -  In their "guide to the best websites that play cool music", supermarket check-out aisle mag Entertainment Weekly gives WFMU the nod:    "WFMU is a "freeform" station, which means that the DJs pick the music without any programming oversight. Its programs are all over the map (folk-rock, dirty disco, and avant-retard are some of the colorful designators). Plus, the station's free podcast archive includes archival-quality history-of-music feeds dating back to 1896." 

61 Versions of Tico Tico

MP3s: 61 versions of Tico Tico below the jump

Maybe the reason I keep playing single-chord songs on my show lately is because at one time, I couldn't get enough of the song Tico Tico, the tune that packs in more notes per measure than a scat singer on Dexedrine. I stumbled onto my cassette cache of Tico Tico's the other day, and without someone nearby to slap some sense into me, I ripped all of them. Then I came to the station and proceeded to find even more versions. Then I stupidly searched online and.. and...and... just go below the jump for all 61 versions.

Tico Tico was written in 1917 by Zequinha de Abreu. The song's first title was actually Tico Tico no Farelo, and in the 40's it became Tico Tico no Fuba. The song was imported to the US by Disney via their animated piece of World War Two-era Happy Latinos propaganda, "Saludos Amigos," in which Donald Duck introduces the song. That version is below. Do I want more versions? No. Unless you have the Captain Beefheart version. I gave up my Tico Tico obsession on the air years ago because I quickly discovered it was a bottomless pit of wants, desires and notes. Lots of notes. Three hour's worth (note to Kenny G: don't do it!)

Next song to get this treatement, The Internationale. It has fewer notes.

Name Dropping

We know how to win friends and influence people, just check out the smattering of A-listers who have popped into the WFMU studios over the past few months (click links to listen to the performances in real audio):

The Posies (sweet pop melodies from Ken Stringfellow, Jonathan Auer, et al.)
Rob Sonic (hip-hop from the Def Jux label, ex-Sonic Sum)
The Hospitals (trashcan garage rock thrown in a blender)
Yura Yura Teikoku (catchy Japanese art-psych)
King Coleman (legendary mashed potato man)
Doug Gillard (can you say ex-Guided By Voices?)
Burmese (fuzzed-out noisy rock from SF)
Art of Flying (lovely off-kilter folk)
Paul Metzger (improv banjo, experimental folk)
Circle (crunchy space-core from Finland)
Art Brut (snotty 3-chord hooks from the UK)
Enablers (contemplative spoken word over dark harmonic rock)
Marissa Nadler (singer-songwriter on acoustic guitar, mysterious and minimal)
Magik Markers (no wave destructo)

Gertrude Stein MP3s

Gertrude Stein MP3s

A bunch of audio recordings by Gertrude Stein made during the years of 1934-1935. Selections include: "The Making of Americans: Parts 1 & 2", "Matisse", "A Valentine to Sherwood Anderson", "If I Told Him: A Completed Portrait of Picasso", "Portrait of Christian Bérard", "Madame Recamier: An Opera", "How She Bowed To Her Brother" and "Interview (1934)." via UbuWeb

Bush Girl Goes To War

With no end in sight to the war in Iraq, and the death toll rising with each passing day--over 2,000 American service members killed as of October 26th, not to mention at least 26,982 Iraqi civilians reported dead as of this posting--this Kate Bush video from 1980 seems especially timely. I wonder if Barbara and Jenna would look as good in uniform as Kate does?

Watch: Kate Bush "Army Dreamers" music video (mpg video, thanks to listener Matt).

While you're at it, check out a similar song by Joanna Newsom, a young harpist and singer-songwriter whose 2004 debut album might have been more indebted to Kate Bush than many of us were clever enough to notice. Don't let all the talk of whale bones throw you off, the song is really about the war in Iraq.

Listen: Joanna Newsom's "What We Have Known" from an archive of Irwin's show.

3 Videos: Subway Car Video, Ali Snubs Bush and Al Qaeda Cartoon Outtakes

Here's how to turn a subway car into a film projector, using only suction cups, mirrors and a laptop. The perpetrators in this case pulled it off in Berlin. Had they tried this stunt in New York, they'd be facing charges right now. Quicktime video for download via del.icio.us/tag/video

Last week, President Bush awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom award to Muhammad Ali, calling The Greatest "a man of peace," and "the greatest of all time." Ali responded by making the internationally accepted "this guy's nuts" sign as Bush tied the ribbon around his neck. Windowsmedia video for download

The Family Guy started off a recent episode with a great idea - what would the outtakes from an Al Qaeda "death to infidels" video look like? Of course, it ends with Stewie kicking some Al Qaeda ass, which would never happen. If anything, Stewie would join up. Windowsmedia video for download (last two via theync.com)

The Kid From Brooklyn Speaks The Truth

The Kid From Brooklyn is neither a kid nor is he from Brooklyn. He's a poetically foul-mouthed ticket dealer from Jersey named Mike Caracciolo, but the ticket racket's never been the right place for him. As he likes to tell people, he really oughta be an actor.

The Kid may want to be an actor, but he's found the perfect medium, taping his own video rants and posting them on his Kid From Brooklyn site. He's been at it for a few years, but he's been on a real tear lately. Since his own servers are a little on the sluggish side, I've re-posted three of his latest video rants here (nsfw):

The Importance of Telling People to Go Fuck Themselves (wmv video file)

The Big Man On How To Stop Terrorism (wmv video file)

The Big Man Introduces Mona, (Mrs. Kid From Brooklyn) (wmv video file)

via metafilter

Cleaning Out My Inbox

While visiting Brazil, Arnold displays his deep respect for local mores and customs. Quicktime Video  via del.icio.us/tag/video

Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing. via Hemaworstje

Dance moves circa 1974, via an Isley Brother's Soul Train Line. Mpg video via del.icio.us/tag/video

The ever photogenic Laura Bush. Thanks Rebecca!

Cool remix of toy instruments. via growabrain

Forget Judith Miller. What's Jayson Blair been up to? Thanks, Steinski!

Covert cameras for every use. Don't miss: 1  |  2  |  3  | Thanks again, Steinski!

Relive your (my) 7th grade drug education class! Pretty pictures | Junkie Comics. via Hemaworstje, Ethan Persoff

Using cartoon technology to teach kids to kill themselves. Iranian suicide bombing cartoon. (streaming windowsmedia video clip, via del.icio.us/tag/propaganda

In case you missed it, here's that Japanese TV game show clip of the kids with the pork chops strapped to their heads. Oh, and there's a big lizard, too: Google video, via boingboing

If World War Two had been an online game. via fazed

The infamous CIA sabotage manual from the early eighties. via flickr

Gallery of Luis Bunuel film posters.

Mary Lou (above) by Bryce (click on her!)  B/W Photos (below) from PhotoEye Galleries:

Criswell Predicts MP3

For your listening and sampling pleasure, here's a 44-minute-long MP3 of the legendary Criswell predicting what he predicts best - the future, which is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. I know that some of you will write off Criswell as another Ed Wood boy toy, but listen to the predictions he makes here, and you will be astounded by his accuracy. Among Criswell's 1970 predictions that have come to pass:

• The political rise of the American south
• The red versus blue state culture wars
• Genital piercing and ornamentation
• Jennifer Beals and the leg-warmer epidemic
• The great caf-tunic contagion of 2005
• The backlash against liberal Hollywood entertainers
• Homosexual Cities and the Contented Discontents!

And that's just in the first few minutes of this MP3! Eventually, the great Criswell predicts the end of the world for August 18, 1999, which, unless I'm seriously mistaken, also came to pass.

Use Celery

The latest piece of shameless propaganda from
the National Celery Board: .mov video file

This Week in Sex: Random Acts of Smut

New sex poll says Americans Bulgarians Indians South Africans Kiwis Aussies Malaysians Singaporeans Canadians Chinese college students Greeks have sex. Or not.

You're fired. Scooter Libby's dirty thriller The Apprentice is being reissued, but the good parts are already dog-eared here.

Really Cool Adult Movie Posters of the 60s and 70s, when X-rated meant something, and that something was way less graphic and way more graphically interesting than any beer ad today. P.S. Who knew the Inkspots had a porn career?

Remember your gay hankie codes? If you need to brush up, they're here.

In my world, farting is mostly funny, rarely sexy. Further confirmation we do not live in my world.

"Some penises I have known": a sculpture for sale on eBay. My epic novel Some Dicks I Have Known is still in progress, but you can option it.

"What's next? Sambo ham sandwiches and Ku Klux Klan juice?" said the Rev. Paul Scott, a  leader in the national boycott campaign against rapper Nelly's energy drink Pimp Juice. With all due respect, I think the Reverend was over-reacting--there's about as much chance of a Sambo sandwich as there is a rapper named Nelly hitting the charts. Word is that Pimp Juice "tastes like a mixture of semen and urine," appropriately packaged in can that suggests exactly that. It's been around since 2003 and is available internationally, but I've never seen it here in Brooklyn, which makes me think the target market is suburban ravers. (It glows in the dark.)

Aluminum Helmets Found To Aid Fed's Access To Brains

Sensible people have long accepted that the best way to prevent the government men from sending secret signals into your brain is by protecting your cranium with an aluminum hat. But now, four researchers at MIT have looked into the matter and have found that wearing an aluminum hat actually enhances the government's ability to access your brain's electrical system, by amplifying key frequencies which are reserved for government use.

The only sane conclusion is that the aluminum-hat theory was actually promulgated by the government itself! This means that the aluminum hats worn so prominently by Joachim Phoenix in the movie Signs amount to government-funded product placement. Article and research here. Thanks, listener Kevin!

The Family Guy's FCC Song

Last Sunday night's episode of The Family Guy was all about the FCC's (now dormant) language crackdown. It included a brief song and dance number about our favorite regulatory agency. Here's the MP3 of the song, and here's a link to the streaming video of it, via devilducky.

War Plan - Available for Only $15,000,000

Attention all government and military professionals:  Are you stumped by what to do about this pesky Iraq situation?  Do you really want to get this Mission Accomplished?  Uncertain about what to do in any future military endeavors?  The solution is here in this war plan auction on Ebay, available for the low low price of $15,000,000!   The auction ended November 5th, but since the reserve wasn't met, you could probably still snap it up by contacting the seller directly.

As described:  "This is a war plan (tactic) to aid the U.S.A. in protecting it`s (sic) vital interests... it will be shared only on a need to know basis, the winning bidder probably will NOT get to know the strategy... Chances are first come, first served, you better buy it before it`s gone. This offer void where prohibited by law.  Sold as-is, where-is, no warranty expressed or implied, since this offer involves the sale of information that cannott (sic) be disclosed, or inspected before purchase, buyer accepts full responsibility if you are NOT satisfied, NO refunds... if I slip, and disclose the strategy by mistake, it still has value, and buyer is still required to pay..."

Click here to see full auction description.

Who Really Cares...

...about correct grammar, spelling and punctuation?  As someone who has pursued a career as a proofreader and copy editor for almost 20 years, I consider myself part of that withering breed of cranks who do care, but are at the same time aware we're fighting a losing battle.

The publishing and news media industries, for the most part, do not pay their editors a living wage (it's more of a live-at-home wage), and why should they, with all the chuckleheads out there nursing Jimmy Olsen dreams?  As a result, newspapers, magazines, Web pages and even books in print are riddled with typos, misused punctuation and poorly written sentences.  Just look at this doozy (pictured) I found on CNN.com a while back—sentences like this are commonplace on CNN, MSN and other Web media outlets.

If you want to make a living wage as an editor, you'll most likely need to go to work for THE MAN, in one of several "evil" corporate industries such as law, finance, pharmaceuticals or healthcare.  These industries don't generally care about correctness, either.  They care only inasmuch as it affects their bottom line, i.e., if something in print isn't as it should be, they could be fined, be sued, or even (gasp!) lose an important client.  (Don't even get me started on Continuing Medical Education, a wholly corporate-funded scam, and the subject of another blog post for another time.)

So who really cares?  Lynne Truss does.  Truss expanded her well-received BBC Radio 4 series, Cutting a Dash, into the best selling book Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.  Anyone with even the slightest reverence for correct punctuation usage and grammar will find this a laugh-out-loud read.  To demonstrate the strength of her convictions, upon the opening of the film Two Weeks Notice, Ms. Truss went to Leicester Square with a six-inch apostrophe mounted on a stick, holding it strategically aloft so that, for a time at least, "Weeks" carried its proper possessive.

Most passersby told Truss to "get a life."  The sting of this comment, in this context, has been felt at one time or another by all intrusive, stickler-types like myself.  My own wife, bless her, has weathered years of my "pronunciation tips," and never once told me to "get a life."  But just try telling someone to "get a life" as they blab on about last night's NFL spectacle, the "tribal council" on Survivor, or Lindsay Lohan's drunken escapades.  These things, apparently, are more legitimate stuff of which to make up a life than our glorious and complex written language.

Secos e Molhados, Next Big Thing for '73

By anybody's standard, 700,000 records sold is a huge success.  By Brazilian standards, that's just incalculably enormous.  32 years ago, the Sao Paolo band Secos e Molhados ("Dry & Wet Goods") sold 700,000 copies of their eponymous debut record (shown, left), and still nobody outside Brazil knows who they were - not even WFMU.  Let's start knowing.

Secos e Molhados "Sangue Latino" and "O Vira" (wmv movie, 18M)

The most important thing you can do for yourself today is watch this video, which ends on the frame you see to your right  Go do that, then come back and I'll tell you more about them.

When I first heard the debut Secos & Molhados album, I endured several months of confusion trying to figure out who's the woman singing, and why isn't she on the album cover?  Well sir, "she" is Ney Matogrosso, and he is indeed on the cover.  No, he doesn't sound like a feminine guy, and he's not singing falsetto - he sings like a girl!!  And it's totally beautiful, and these songs are mostly achingly sweet.  The confusion lingered as I got hung up on the disconnect between the sound of the songs and the look of the total freaks who, it seems, are performing them.  And then along came Wolmar.  He's my fave dealer of Brazilian esoterica at the annual WFMU Record Fair, and he actually had some video footage - lots of it.  And now the pieces are coming together.  Go listen to some songs:

O Patrão nosso de cada dia (realaudio link)
O Vira (realaudio link)
Rosa de Hiroshima (realaudio link)

Jump the flip if you're interested in a little bit of history on the band (which is remarkably scarce in English).

Audible Hiss

Came across this great site which made my heart and ears ache for my bygone days as a cassette enthusiast. It's an alphabetical photo montage of... keeee-rist... seemingly every make and model of blank cassette manufactured from then 'til now, and given that they're all the exact same shape and size, the sheer diversity of design is pretty head spinning. Gazing down the list, my eyes fell on a few that even reminded me of old tapes from my personal collection that either bit the dust eons ago, never made it out from under the seat of my '81 VW Rabbit, got left at parties, were simply tossed to make way for other obsessions, or perhaps still lurk in some dark corner of my apartment, waiting to be uncovered and reprimanded for wasting precious storage space.

For example, this little jobby here was a bit of an industry standard of the late 80s. But it's also the exact make and model of the corny mixtape I made the year before I finished high school and was subsequently carted around from punk rock shows in Trenton, to parties of older friends who'd trotted off to art school in the city, to secret skateboard spots in Pennsylvania, and then back again several thousand times over. I know this tape still resides in a bag of crap in my closet and is sun-bleached and warbled from years and years of abuse. The tracklisting is way too embarrassing to include here, but I will admit that it includes a plainly retarded segueway from the Jesus & Mary Chain into 7 Seconds. (Links to Real Audio.)

This one here had a Buzzcocks (Real Audio) mix that someone made for me. Or maybe it was just a dub from a vinyl copy of "Singles Going Steady", which probably gave the above mixtape some fierce competition for play in the boombox at some point or another. Sadly, side two of this tape featured a dub of Joni Mitchell's "Blue" album, (stop laughing) which is a great example of the classic mis-step of tape making, especially when precious boombox battery power is at risk: Don't put something you're only in the mood to hear once a year on the flipside of something you consider part of your daily personal hygiene. To this day, I can not listen to the Buzzcocks without fashioning my hair into a tidy bun and pretending to be a librarian 45 minutes later.

Purchased at Topp's Appliances in East Brunswick, NJ for the explicit purpose of making a mixtape for the pasty-faced punky maiden I was madly in love with during senior year of high school. This tape was twice as expensive as the garden variety Maxell/TDK models in regular circulation at the time, but I figured it was important to spend a little cash on the lady. She was obsessed with Depeche Mode, (Real Audio) whom I pretended to like for a little while in the hopes of earning her sympathy. Instead, after graciously accepting the mixtape from me just prior to Christmas break, she never again spoke to or made eye contact with me, having been obviously disturbed by something on the tape. (Note to current teenagers attempting to win hearts of pasty-faced punky maidens by making them mixtapes: Reconsider the inclusion of any lengthy Hubert Selby spoken word pieces as "dramatic" conclusion to side one. Though fashionable at one time, this is now widely regarded as a fiercely stupid idea.)

The Hits of 1966, With a Lisp (MP3s)

A few weeks ago, I posted 21 versions of They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha, including one by Teddy and Darrel. Little did I know that the WFMU library included the entire Teddy and Darrel LP, These are The Hits, You Silly Savage, which I post here in its entirety. I found these on a collection called Queer To The Core. The original album came out in 1966, and featured Teddy and Darrel lisping and swishing their way through the hits of the day:

I'm Hungry  |  Wild Thing  |  Gary Ghoul Boy  |  Little Red Riding Hood  | 

The Hollywood Agent  |  These Boots Are Made For Walking  | 

Strangers In The Night  |  Say There  |  Hanky Panky  |

Hollywood Swings  |  They Took You Away, I'm Glad, I'm Glad  | 

Hold On, I'm Coming

Seats to Fill at the FCC

It looks like the Bush administration may soon allow the FCC to get busy with their tremendous backlog of work on controversial topics... W. is expected to announce his nominations for the 2 open seats on the commission: one of which was created following Chairman Michael Powell's resignation earlier this year  (Kevin Martin, then a commission member, moved on up, leaving an empty seat), and the other is from Michael Copps' 5-year-term coming to an end.

FYI: The commission is made up of 2 democrats (Copps and Adelstein), 2 republicans (Abernathy, whose term will end pretty soon and does not seek renomination, and the empty seat), and a hood ornament (Martin, a republican).

Bush is expected to renominate Democrat Michael Copps, a man so uptight that he's issued separate statements detailing his personal dissent from indecency cases that the commission as a whole had dismissed. Deborah Tate, Director of the Tennessee Regulatory Authority, is rumored to be W's pick for the empty republican seat on the commission. However, conservative lip-zipper Ted Stevens is ever so eager to come up with his own FCC nominee that he can force down the administration's throat.

A fast confirmation of both appointees might give Chairman Martin a short window of time (before Abernathy's departure) to use the commission's republican majority to his advantage: possibly making headway on controversial issues that the politically split FCC could not tackle. Might we see indecency revisited during this period? The Senate Commerce Committee has already scheduled a forum on broadcast decency...