This Week in Sex: This Place is a Zoo

As you know, This Week in Sex adheres to the highest journalistic standards of objectivity. We report, we don't judge. For example, right now we are reporting to you about a site with lots of pictures of pregnant animals. We are also reporting a quote from that site: "My name is Simon 'Skunky' Morrison, and I very love animals. Probably it looks bizarre, but I very much like to see pregnant animals. I very much love to look at their huge, distended bellys. I have female dog named Marta, and each year she becomes pregnant, and I very like to observe her and touch her inflated belly. It's great!" We are also reporting that this site made us throw up in our mouth a little bit. But we are not judging.

Feeling crabby? Maybe it's because you've got MyCraby, the hands-free vibrator that you clamp onto your labia, clamped onto your labia.

Look and listen: A gallery of beautiful belly dancing records. Great for the office: Tortua: Sounds of Pain and Pleasure, with a snappy little ditty of whipping and mmm-ing. mp3 from show and tell music, a dollar record bin in html form.  via sexblo.gs

iPorn, You know how annoying pod people are when they are walking down the street? I am trying to imagine annoying pod people walking down the street watching downloadable dirty movies. It's going to be pretty annoying.

Yes, I'm talking about you. It's not in the DSM-IV (yet), and I hope it doesn't catch on because it's an ugly-ass word, but if you can't get up to go to the bathroom because you have to click one more thing, you may be an onlineaholic. Experts say the power of the net comes from "random reinforcement," which means it doesn't always suck, but it sucks enough to waste a lot of your time. If you think you have a problem being online, there is a solution: sexhelp4porn.com. The only problem with their solution is that you participate in the "'Virtual Guide' Process" online. How's that gonna get you to the bathroom? Also, it's way bible-y.

Snatch. On sale.

This is what we call a story with legs. The item about the man who died from having sex with a horse was the most-read story of 2005 in the Seattle Times.

The golden age of porn. Key characteristics of golden age porn include the use of real film stock, real body parts, and real ugly couches.

You've got male. New male fertility test kit means shy or lazy guys can wank into a cup at home instead of at the doctor's office. Hot!

And the articles are the most interesting part of Playboy. The dialogue is the most interesting part of porn.

China’s first gay and lesbian festival was reportedly shut down by police over the weekend in Beijing, but everybody ended up in a hotpot restaurant, so it's all good.

Not geeky at all. Surprisingly, this model-maker guy makes dirty little figures. Check out prancing Nancy Sinatra lady-man with a dildo-gun, the tale of the "dancer in the woods" and the wolf with the dildo-prod-thing, and something called a bad hair day. Creator Gonzo interviews himself.  Thanks listener Woody!

Awwww. The New York Times recently had a big science article on what makes things cute (you can read it here without having to log in to the Times site). Things with big round heads are cute. This bear is cute. Except for the part where you stick your finger into its butt and it makes fart noises. That's cute and funny.

Ewwww. Dolphins have big round heads. Dolphins are cute. A woman marrying a dolphin is not cute and kinda gross. But if she sticks her finger in his butt, well, that's cute and funny. I may have to rethink my theory of cute and funny.

I very much like to see a gallery of sausages. Because I like meat. I'm just reporting. So quit judging.

Thanks Ken and Fatty Jubbo!

 

Comments

[Gonzo]

I am laughing so f---ing hard about your comment on my cinnamon girl,aka Nancy Sinatra, I am having trouble writing this. The bad hair day is Monkey Mona. You are correct about the wolf, it is a dildo prod, an anal one for the dancer. It is comments like this that give that one erotic page about 2500 hits a day. Thanks from your kinky off the wall friend. Gonzo, Send me some erotic photos of yourself, and I will make you famous.

[Cazzy]

Well, I must say...your figurines are very nicely done and look quite realistic at times.

However, I wouldn't want to think of the possibility of one of those figurines being Nancy Sinatra? I know someone who was friends with ole blue eyes himself...and let me tell you right here and now, Mr. Gonzo...Frank would have raised holy hell if he knew that you were doing some naked figurines of his beloved daughter, whom he called affectionately..."Chicken". Be glad that Frank has passed away awhile ago, my friend. Just telling you in a friendly way. Not trying to be mean or anything...just telling you the truth. Ok?

[Gonzo]

Cazzy, When I created this figure, it never occured to me that it looked like Nancy Sinatra. It was done as a girl I knew from high school. She was pleased that I still thought of her as looking that good. It must be the boots or hair, that millions of girls wore that way in 1965. If you look at the page on my site of her, she is called "The Cinnamon Girl" With a story about her. Amanda seemed to think she resembled Nancy. Besides Nancy would probably see it as a compliment, as this figure has a kick ass body. So do not link my art with Frank Sinatra, or his family. Frank liked the girls also, look at Mia Farrow. He must have been a pretty open free thinker.I guess Amanda saw something I did not see at the time. I am going to do a figure of Amanda also. You can leave a comment on that article too, stating what you would like her to be, or look like. Maybe Twiggy or Martha Raye, who the hell knows.