WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Snowmobile Driver (mp3)

On a constant search for the rarest songs on the Internet, this one is a pretty good candidate: Howard Flake - Snowmobile Driver (MP3), a fine example of humorous and socially relevant folk music. It was ripped from a 7" single, and comes with absolutely no information on the artist.

Audio Hoaxes and Urban Legends, Part 2: The Shuttleworth Family (MP3s)

Meet the Shuttleworths - John, Mary, Darren and Karen. Armed only with a casio keyboard, Karen's atonal recorder solos and four-part harmonies, they're Sheffield, England's version of the Cowsills.

Too bad they never existed.

Here are the contents of a Shuttleworth Family demo tape that made the rounds of the cassette underground in the mid-1990's before being roundly dismissed as a hoax. And like so many good hoaxes (and especially the Linda McCartney Hey Jude tape, I wanted to believe it so bad that it was hard to accept that it wasn't real. When I first got a copy of the tape, the late great Vanilla Bean told me that the tape had been submitted to a British record label as a genuine demo tape. Upon playing it on the air though, listeners started reporting to the Bean and I that the tape was a fake.

It turns out that the demo tape was merely the first incarnation of John Shuttleworth, a creation of British comic Graham Fellows. BBC Radio 4 actually did a four-part radio series in 2004 called The Shuttleworths, which can be downloaded via Graham Fellow's wikipedia page. Fellows also has created a John Shuttleworth homepage here. (Fellows also recorded the punk-novelty hit Jilted John: [streaming realaudio link from Mosurock's 6/3/2002 show.]

Pictured above: John Shuttleworth, as I imagined him. Below, the contents of the mid-90's tape. The Shuttleworths were so much more fun when I thought it was real. But the voice of Mary Shuttleworth really should have tipped me off - she sounds like the female voices of Monty Python's Terry Jones. But I wanted to believe. Which is the mark of a good hoax.

All MP3s:

My Wife Died In 1970   |   The Shuttleworths   |   Catch The Fox

I'm Swimming With Sharon   |   Incident On The Snake Pass

I'm A Modern Man   |   British Family   |   Abba Medley

Demo Tape Introduction

Here is Part One and Part One & 1/2 of this series.

The Coast Is Clear, Dumbshit

From AP, via Tom Smith: House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV, which uses gasoline, after holding a news conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive the few blocks back to the U.S. Capitol.

Air America No Longer on WLIB After August 31

Mediaweek reports that Air America Radio will lose its New York flagship station, WLIB-AM, when its lease runs out on Aug. 31. According to the report, the lease originally ended on March 31, but the network got an extension that lasts only until the end of August. The story suggests that progressive talk programming will continue on WLIB, but with more local programming. The station will be operated as a joint venture betweeen current owner Inner City Broadcasting Corporation and P1, a company run by veteran radio executive Randy Michaels. P1 will handle the programming side of the business, and will likely launch their syndicated talk program The Ed Schultz Show, which they acquired last year from Democracy Radio.

This doesn't necessarily mean the end of Air America programming in the New York market; a spokesman is quoted as saying “to be clear, Air America will not go silent on the New York City airwaves.” Perhaps they can find a new home further to the left... lord knows there's not much happening on 570AM these days.

For more about Air America Radio, check out this post and this post from WFMU staffer and Beware Of The Blog correspondent The Professor .

Magic Carpathians Live on WFMU!

Last week, Poland's mysterious and wonderful rural psych duo The Magic Carpathians Project stopped by WFMU for a live recording.  This weekend, Rich Hazelton will air all 69 minutes of their session on his Inflatable Squirrel Carcass program.  While they were here, someone - (OK, me) - had the bright idea to infiltrate their performance with a digicam!  Here's an enthralling 2 & 1/2 minute preview of the set:

Saturday night at midnight (well, technically Sunday morning at 12am), tune in to the Inflatable Squirrel Carcass program to hear their entire performance. For more Magic Carpathians on WFMU, check out their first visit, to my show, back in March 2001.  And pay a visit to their own very lovely site.

Internet Radio's Lethal Injection

Yet again, Washington demonstrates its elementary comprehension of digital media through bad draft legislation. But this time it ain't the wacky House of Reps (so eager to sign off on unconstitutional proposals that they pass the bloody flag desecration amendment twice a year); senators are behind a piece of legal hooey that would cripple satellite radio's new receiver technology and also require internet radio stations to drop the popular, high-quality streaming MP3 format while adopting a different, no doubt inferior-sounding, DRM-embedded streaming format (which, by the way, Microsoft has already developed DRM streaming technology... but it requires you to buy a DRM-happy sound card which encrypts all audio coming into your computer and only works with pre-approved software).

Enter the gruesome Perform Act. Thanks, Senators Feinstein (D-CA) and Graham (R-SC)! The Electronic Frontier Foundation and Public Knowledge have posted some great comments about the havoc this piece of legislation will unleash upon all who enjoy the fruits that modern radio offers.

Basically, the feds want to make it impossible for you to record any audio that comes out of a digital device (your computer or your satellite radio receiver), and in doing so, they will unreasonably force substandard technologies onto the booming digital radio industry.

Here at WFMU, we've developed our online listenership by embracing, improving, and innovating our internet streams, and now almost half of the money that comprises our entire operating budget comes from listeners who use our web streams. And now Washington suddenly finds it necessary to uproot 9 years of progress and improvement of our streaming technology (and that of every other internet radio station) in favor of a minimally-developed, widely unavailable, costly, and mangled scheme for an uber-strict level of copy-protection. If that's not a lethal dose of digital cyanide, I don't know what is.

Go Satan Go by Messer Chups (video)

In the absence of a This Week In Sex this week, here's a somewhat smutty video by the great Russian / German band Messer Chups, also occasionally known as Messer Fur Frau Muller. This is the fun and smutty video for the song Go Satan Go, from their CD Vamp Babes: [download video, 10 meg, mpeg format]. It's not safe for work, in a soft-porn, cleavage-in-your-face kind of way. You can listen to more Messer Chups and Messer Fur Frau Muller tracks from the WFMU archives - links here and here. via sugarjar
 

When Preachers Cuss, Part 2: Gene Scott (video)

When I posted the amazing filthy preacher from public access TV the other day, I totally forgot to give props to the man who blazed this particular trail: the late, great Dr. Gene Scott.

Here's the good doctor on the attack, throwing out every rule in the televangelist / NPR fundraising handbook, frothing at the mouth and insulting his viewers, one of whom Scott challenges to a duel: [download video, 9 megs, mpeg format]

I love how he even denies that he's cursing. They don't make 'em like Gene Scott anymore. In the middle of his 30-year career, the FCC stripped Scott of 15 million dollars worth of broadcast stations.  His response was to form the FCC Monkey band, a clip of which you can download on this post by The Professor, along with more info and video links to the mad doctor.

You can still talk to Gene Scott at his website. He died last year, but minor details like that never shut him up before.

"Between the RIAA and a Hard Place" from "Recording Industry vs. The People" blog

Op-ed piece by Andrew Harden for the "Recording Industry vs. The People" blog (run by two lawyers working with the EFF) discussing some implications of the latest in the series of overly broad anti-copying measures that continue to become the law of the land.

Read the entire piece here: "Between the RIAA and a Hard Place."

Excerpts:

... Attorneys for the Recording Industry Association of America have made the argument that simply having a "Shared" folder on your computer can be considered grounds for infringement and, by extension, prosecution.
... The problem with this is that nearly every PC in use right now, running a modern operating system like, for example, Microsoft Windows XP, has a "Shared" folder on it ...created by Microsoft's Windows installer program.
... In Apple's OS X, we have the same thing. I have a folder called, simply, "Shared."
... So if I was subpoenaed right now, the RIAA would find a "Shared" folder.

... The Intellectual Property Protection Act of 2006 would increase the penalties for infringement, and make attempting infringement illegal. ... Here's the problem with a law like this: it applies to entirely too much stuff. Stand up and look around, and raise your hand if you see a

Computer | Printer | Fax Machine | Photocopier | VCR | TiVo or DVR | Camera | Scanner | Audio recorder

All of these things are “tools” that can be used to "circumvent" anti-piracy measures.

...This campaign isn't about stopping piracy; it's about control. Instead of adapting to new technology, which is usually what happens, instead of finding a new business model, which is key to having a successful business, the RIAA is out to litigate the market into submission.

Nightmares of DJs Past (MP3s)

Here are Eddie "The Old Philosopher" Lawrence's two DJ Philosopher songs, providing a glimpse into the radio nightmares of commercial jocks of the 1950's.

My own radio nightmares are firmly rooted in the analog era - having ten seconds left on a track with nothing else cued up, scrambling to find another record to play, and that moment of having ten seconds to go stretches out to an eternity.

Digital DJ'ing allows reality to exceed anything my sleeping imagination could cook up. A few years ago, I was DJ'ing during WFMU's RNC Remix. I had no records pulled at all - I was DJ'ing exclusively with MP3s that night, using the DJ program Traktor. At about about the halfway mark of the show, some of my MP3s stopped playing. As I started looking over my playlist of 150 tracks, they all started disappearing before my very eyes. Unknown to me, someone in another room was moving the entire MP3 library, vaporizing the tracks I had pulled and prepared for my show.

Give me going to school naked anyday.

The DJ Philosopher (MP3)
The DJ Philosopher Returns (MP3)

Thanks to Joe S. for Part Two!

Bovinity

MooTube. Blog included. Need I say more?

Fred Durst

Zombies Zombies Zombies, Part I

Though ostensibly fictional characters, zombies have featured prominently in my very real life.  In addition to the usual permeation that comes from being a lifelong horror film fan, zombie references, lore and culture have been gradually woven into my life's fabric such that I'm living what one might call a "Zombie-Plus" existence.  I see zombie metaphors everywhere I look, and the allegorical ammo from 1,000 wasted "body shots" litters my floor.  Often when we're getting ready to leave the house, in an effort to get my wife to move faster, I invoke the urgency of an imminent zombie attack (much to her chagrin.)

So how prepared are you for a real Zombie attack?  Will you be ready, really ready, when your community members, neighbors, family and friends, recast as the rotting undead, come for you, driven by a single-minded hunger for your flesh and internal organs?  In these days of protracted apocalyptic prophecy (i.e., the end times have been "approaching" or "here" for several centuries now), one had better be ready for anything.

In 2003, Random House published The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, written by Max Brooks (the son of Mel Brooks, and a sometime SNL writer.)  Though I am very glad it's there, I haven't yet read the book, making me only slightly less knowledgeable of its contents than Tucker Carlson is of any topic he discusses on his MSNBC program.  Whether or not you've read Brooks' book, you may find the following related survival test amusing and informative.

My wife and I, early on in our marriage, had the necessary family meeting on this topic, and found ourselves to be on basically the same page regarding a possible zombie attack:  1. Board up all points of entry to our home, but also know that this, much like The Club, is ultimately only a visual deterrent.  2. Do not allow entry to anyone who has been bitten, no matter how much we used to like them.  3. If either one of us gets bitten, they're toast for the greater good.  4. In all cases, aim for the head.

An essential zombie tome that I have read is The Zombie Movie Encyclopedia, by Peter Dendle, which attempts, with a fair amount of success, to assemble into one reference, all zombie- and living dead-related motion pictures, with a brief description of each.  TZE is so far only available in an expensive, hardcover edition, but it's quite worthwhile as a reference book, to say nothing of the shining beacon it becomes (with its colorful jacket and spine) on your bookshelf.

The book covers all the major touchstones of zombie filmdom plus a whole lot more, from early classics like Jacques Tourneur's I Walked with A Zombie (a haunting, beautiful mood piece, though not at all a "zombie film" in the modern, post-Romero sense; Lucio Fulci (see below) does however cite Tourneur as an influence.) to newer, notable low-budget creations like J.R. Bookwalter's The Dead Next Door.

Black and Lily White Fantasy: (Howlin Wolf and the Three Suns videos)

A study in contrasts: these two videos have been hanging out on my hard drive for too long, and now I realize that they belong together.

First, Howlin Wolf rocking out to Dust My Broom at the ever-swank Pro-Tec-Tive Club, complete with a sax player: [download video, 10 megs, Quicktime file] via dailymotion

And here are The Three Suns cheese-rocking to Beyond The Blue Horizon in a studio somewhere: [download video, 6 megs, MP4 file] via Prelinger.

Let me tell you 'bout the Birds and the Bees

New York City bans the maintaining of animals that are "wild, ferocious, fierce, dangerous or naturally inclined to do harm".  Which means unfortunately your Komodo dragon will not pass muster at your upcoming co-op review.  But then neither will your back-to-nature, peace-loving bee hive.  Beekeeping in the 5 boroughs is against the law, so if still sweating after your next Critical Mass bike ride, you are looking for a few more law breaking endorphins, think about beekeeping.  Dozens of NYC bee outlaws keep hives on rooftops and in backyard gardens.  You can buy urban hipster honey at the Union Square farmers market, but don't strike up a conversation about your hive lifestyle with Mike Bloomberg next time you see him on the subway, unless you want to get sent to the big house.  Well, not really, but it sounds so much better than getting fined...

Honey bees get a bad rap. They are actually hard-working stiffs who live only to collect pollen and get on home to momma queen where they whip it up into a frothy honey stew; it is actually the wasp that is the vicious hunter of the bee world, who's out looking to rumble.  New York City honey bees are partaking of the city's bushes and trees, along with flowers sitting curbside and on fire escapes.  As a result urban honey tends to be sweeter than country honey, and could be just what the natural doctor orders when it comes to a spoonful a day to keep the allergies at bay.  Eating honey during allergy season is a form of immuno-therapy to give your body a small dose of what ails it, to jump start its defenses and fight off the nasty ill effects of sneezing and runny nose.  If you are an allergic city dweller, honey from Sullivan County doesn't have the necessary urban mix of tree and flower pollen, so perhaps a medicinal waiver is what we need to overcome the ban on bees.  First medical marijuana, now medical bee hives.

WFMU in the News: Scharpling Grows Wings

Tom Scharpling, host of The Best Show on WFMU, recently got a write up in "American Way" magazine - an in-flight publication put out by American Airlines. 

The article talks about Tom's comedic partnership with Jon Wurster on TBSOWFMU, which "regularly finds Scharpling playing straight man to Wurster's increasingly bizarre collection of characters, including disgruntled DJ "Hot Rockin'" Ronny Fuqua, hopeless wannabe pop star Barry Dworkin, and dismissive music snob Charles Martin."  Click here (or on the image) to read the full article.

And here is an mp3 (24mb) of Jon's cheesesteak-eating alter-ego, Philly Boy Roy, reading his last will and testament, off of Tom's 2005 Marathon premium The Best of The Best Show, volume 2.

Tom Scharpling's archives.

Philly Boy Roy's Last Will and Testament (mp3, 24mb).

Ass. Prog.

Here we have a pretty remarkable little film loop taken from a much longer performance by a soon-to-be very famous prog rock group.  The longer video displays a band having the most Not Fun I've ever seen; even during the especially jumpy and rocking Movements of The Piece, these guys really look like they're at work.  Except for the drummer, who would one day be really fucking famous (-ly unctuous).  The guitar player wore his horn rims to Work on this day, and stays seated during the entire performance, even during the especially jumpy and rocking Movements of The Piece.  The keyboard player... that's all we'll say about him.

The singer is interesting.  He'll one day be hugely famous as well, but here we see him trying out his moves.  He's still a little feral, a little sexy.  But he made a very bad mistake in his wardrobe choice - which brings us to our current clip, and a bit of wardrobe malfunction, 1972-style. Watch it now (mpeg download, 9megs)

(If you want to see almost the whole thing, youtube's got most of it right here; they'll even tell you who the band is.  But they fade out just before the end -and I do mean The End -, so stay right here for the exclusive loop.)

Props to Fabio and Liz B!

Islam, Judaism and Christianity: Connected at The Orb

When Monica alerted us all to this 100% unretouched picture of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, I knew that I had seen part of it before. It wasn't Mahmoud's Steve-Martin-like attire, it wasn't that bank of microphones so familiar to me from my under-attended press conferences here at WFMU. No, it was the orb rising up behind Ahmadinejad's head. This is the  exact same orb that provided the magnetic force which powered Mose's parting of the red sea, as shown in the 100% unretouched photograph shown on the right. (I cropped the orb out of the photo for our collective safety.) And it is the exact same orb that appears in the kabbalah image below.

So if our extraterrestrial overlords are pulling the strings on all three of the world's major religions, why can't we all get along? My theory (now proven) is that the shape-shifting reptiles are twisting our normal perception of reality to their own ends.

Want proof? You got it. Monarca, the artist behind the Red Sea image at right, was recently giving a radio interview on the matter of UFOs relation to The Bible when the reptoid humanoids twisted her words around. First off, here is Monarca's wonderful Bible and UFOs website, which contain many of her well-documented photographs of the biblical era. And here are the backmasked excerpts of her radio interview in which the reptilian humanoids (Annunakis, no doubt) slither around her larynx and force words out of her mouth which belie their true motives.

If you want more gloriously unretouched photographs of UFOs and their relation to the funky western civilization, go here.

People Like Us & Felix Kubin New MP3

Molaradio (MP3, 43mb)

In 2004 Vicki Bennett (aka People Like Us) and Felix Kubin were commissioned to go into a Liverpool classroom of 12 year-olds and make music with them. The result is a 30-minute Hörspiel of madness, mayhem and fun.

Adventures In Amplitude Modulation - Part 16

This week back to shortwave radio-- a backwater of broadcasting in the U.S., but still a dynamic medium around the world. Although it's a relatively antique technology, shortwave still offers unique programming from distant locations on the globe with a little effort. In this post I've included the audio from the beginning of a scan of another popular shortwave band– 31 meters (9250-9995 kHz). This recording is from a week ago Sunday. Easter for some.

Again, I’m using the BCL-2000 at my kitchen table. It’s not the best receiver I have, but it suits the purposes of this series. I have a number of other analog radios I’d like to use to record these shortwave band scans, but the work of deducing the origination of foreign language broadcasts without being able to discern the exact frequency would make it even more problematic to tell you with any confidence where these broadcasts are coming from. Which leads to a bit of a confession. I’ve succumbed to a bit of gadget lust and purchased a new radio which may offer a digital band-scanning alternative to the analog BCL.

I’ve mentioned my interest in the Degen (or Kaito) 1103 in a couple of comments I’ve added to posts in this series. Along with the BCL radios, the DE1103 is a 21st century shortwave receiver that has generated a respectable positive buzz in the shortwave community over the last few years. The 1103 in general gets higher marks than the BCL series across the board (although a number of people gripe about the odd control layout). Look at some of the reviews of the radio here, here and here. Just as the BCL melds digital readout with analog tuning, the DE1103 has digital AND analog readout with digital tuning. It also has a quiet noise floor and no “chuffing” or “chugging” when traversing shortwave in 1 kHz steps. In reviews, owners say turning the tuning knob (or jog wheel) is as close you can get to manual analog scanning you can get in a digital receiver without spending the big bucks.

So, I ordered one from the commie-capitalist kingdom across the sea. When it shows here up I’ll crank the gadget up and see if it really is the band scanning tool it’s made out to be. No doubt, it seems to be a solid digital shortwave receiver, and I’ve never really owned one I actually liked. I look forward to punching in presets for favorite frequencies and fooling around with contemporary radio technology. And if this little unit lives up to half the hype I’ve read on the net, it should be a lot of fun DXing with this it out in the sticks.