This Week in Sex: Bummer

May 19, 2006

This Week in Sex: Bummer

Woof. We've all had sex like this. Just because you were in a blackout and can't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen. I mean the barf part, not the dog part. Hell, maybe both--you were in a blackout, so how would you know?

Ew. Since you just lost your lunch, you can safely look at this. Unless you are at work. NSFW

Put down the dildo and put your hands where I can see them. A man in Norway beats his girlfriend with a dildo and tries to make a big joke out of it. How callous is that?

Crap. An 11 year-old boy says he had the fright of his life when he lifted the lid of the toilet and found a 2 1/2 foot American corn snake poking its head out of the water. Flush, people!

I'm so thirsty I could... An Arkansas Mayor is charged in sex-for-water case.

Unmentionables. If Saudi women can't mix with men in public, but lingerie is sold only by men, does that mean a lot of Saudi women are going commando under those burkas?

"I do this to make them laugh and smile and open to talk to me...I do hold on, but not a long time. Just till they start screaming." If you're wondering if your opening moves cross the line, screaming is usually a tip-off. Alleged foot-fetishist Joseph Weir is accused of attacking an estimated 70 women on the subway. He's out on bail and likes the N, R, W, V and E trains and black women.

Hungarian meat. This Week in Sex is totally bumming me out. How about some meat to clear the palate? Unless you want to have an orgasm, in which case, according to medical authority Pamela Anderson, you should be a vegetarian. Now I'm bummed again. Plus I missed National Orgasm Day. Did the earth move?

Works for wood and flowers. Finally, there's actually something useful to do with the little blue pecker uppers: Viagra keeps roses from wilting.

MoSex. The Museum of Sex launched its Virtual Museum of Sex with four exhibits: erotic photography by Harold Lloyd, representations of the American male nude body, a community of inventors of sex machines, and applications to the U.S. Patent Office for an array of sexual devices including penis constrictors, nocturnal emission preventors, and masturbation inhibitors.

You must be this tall to ride this ride. The Academy of Sex and Relationships in London, where I am the Visiting Fellow of Internet Smutology, will open the world's first sex "theme-park" this summer.

That's hot. Make fire with a condom. For real.

Air guitar wanking contest.

Million crystal lady marketing stunt.

The end of plumber's crack. They call it builder's bum in the U.K, but since they seem to have solved the problem, they can call it whatever they want.

Goddammit! Yesterday, May 18, is was officially the happiest day of the year. If that's the high point, I'm going back to bed. For the year.

Thanks Ken and Shannon. Send your dirty stuff to me at amanda at wfmu dot org. I'm not proud.

Posted by Amanda Barrett on May 19, 2006 at 09:04 AM | Permalink