{un hommage à Al Jaffee, renowned smart-ass}
1. As you understand them, what are your duties/responsibilities with the company?
-Maximize usage of "mental health" days
-Come in early, stay late, never see family
-Know what all of our clients and co-workers are up to at any given moment; have a ready answer for any random question you might ask
2. Have the past 6 months been good/bad/satisfactory, and why?
-Satisfactory, breaking into widespread good whenever you leave the office
-Good, compared to 6 months at Abu Ghraib with Joan and Melissa Rivers
-Bad, considering that I'm actually expected to show up—I got into organized crime for this?
3. What can we do to make the processes of your department run more smoothly?
-Stop bugging me
-Play round-the-clock ragga breakcore streaming radio station
-Replace rest of staff with sexy female robots
4. What sort of training would help you to perform your job more efficiently?
-Ninja training
-Train me to tolerate a steady stream of gross incompetence and inefficiency
-Train me to beat the odds at Atlantic City
5. What about advancement? Where do you see yourself 1-5 years down the road?
-In jail for killing all of you
-Winning the lottery and getting the hell out of here
-I'd take your position, but you so enjoy the taste of client ass, I'd hate to take that away from you
Ha. We had a good laugh once thinking about odd things we could put on our resumes and came up with "Reason for leaving last job : Bosses ass too salty".
Posted by: Alan Smithee | July 13, 2006 at 03:42 PM