After having had the distinct pleasure of spending one and a half days on four planes, five airports, and one airport hotel, while constantly dealing with incompetent airline employees and randomly absurd "security" procedures, I was interested in the Internets' opinions about air travel. Here are two of them, from the good old days before 9/11:
The air is annoyingly potted with a multitude of minor vertical disturbances which sicken the passengers and keep us captives of our seat belts. We sweat in the cockpit, though much of the time we fly with the side windows open. The airplanes smell of hot oil and simmering aluminum, disinfectant, feces, leather, and puke ... the stewardesses, short-tempered and reeking of vomit, come forward as often as they can for what is a breath of comparatively fresh air.
— Ernest K. Gann, describing airline flying in the 1930's.
Life expands in an aeroplane. The traveler is a mere slave in a train, and, should he manage to escape from this particular yoke, the car and the ship present him with only limited horizons. Air travel, on the other hand, makes it possible for him to enjoy the 'solitary delights of infinite space.' The earth speeds below him, with nothing hidden, yet full of surprises. Introduce yourself to your pilot. He is always a man of the world as well as a flying ace.
— Early French advertisement for airline service.
Both of these are stolen from this page which has many more quotes. And don't forget to check out Brian Turner's past posts on the subject of air travel, parts one and two. By the way, did I mention that I am still waiting for my luggage?
As with many things, air travel has lost much of it's glamour and appeal. Since the establishment of Fatherland Security and it's duplicious capos, the TSA, even starting a trip is an awful experience.
The TSAssholes, previously seen flipping burgers or driving rental car shuttles, wield complete power over ones possessions and persons with the arbirary zeal of lesser satraps.
Your shoes, your suit jacket, your toothpaste are all subject to the unreasonable 100% criteria of inspection. Forget probable cause or warrants issued - what is in the least 'reasonable' about requiring 100% of travellers to take off their shoes??
Getting past the visceral disgust at the attitude of these flunkys obeying the absolute letter of secret regulations (just ask to see the law/legislation that TSA bases it's regulations on sometime), the cattle car loading of planes comes next.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the efficiency of it, but it is a long, long, long way from the welcome aboard of das gut olden days.
Finally, you are in the air. Now it's time to enjoy the fabulous buy-on-board mystery boxes. Even in first class, the meager fare with plastic utensils is at a level only slightly below that found in Long John Silver's. At least then, one can still count on unlimited booze, but nix on the champagne.
The stewardesses are probably the only thing left from the last of the good days. It seems the average senority is in the 20 year range. The perky ingenues like Gwenyth Paltrow in View From The Top are so rare as to be nearly urban legend. But they once roamed the asiles like herds of frisky fillies.
alas, so it is with so much of life.
Posted by: yragentman | January 16, 2007 at 02:48 PM