I know all the other DJs did their 2006 Top 10 lists in January, but I was kind of overwhelmed right then and didn’t get mine done. I planned to post it for the Lunar New Year, but then that came and went without my having the time to rassle with blog posting. I kept thinking there’s got to be another New Year, and it turns out there is: New York State’s fiscal year begins on April 1. (How appropriate!) So here’s my list, in no particular order. I was surprised to see how food-related it was once I trimmed it down to just 10 items. I was going to speculate as to why that’s so, but I decided that if I started thinking about that I might never post the list at all.
1. Juan Gil 2004 Jumilla—The first time I sipped this, I thought, “This is what red wine should taste like!” It’s a deep, dark color, with some body to it, and tastes like fruit sitting on top of flinty old rocks. Plus it’s not terribly expensive. I keep going back and buying more, and wish I’d just bought a case when it was on sale at my local discount dive. I’m not a big wine connoisseur or anything—I usually drink my Juan Gil out of an old Welch’s Grape Jelly “Flintstones” glass—but I really like this. And it got, like, a 90 or 91 from one of those fancy guys, in case you don’t trust me.
2. e.l.f. eyelash curler—Only $1.00 at Jack’s 99¢ Store! It’s a long story, but about three years ago I got scammed into buying one of those $20 Shu Uemura eyelash curlers. When the pad wore out I went to the store to buy a replacement, and guess what? They don’t sell replacements—you gotta buy another goddamned $20 curler! Not me, pal. When I spotted the e.l.f. at Jack’s I bought one, took it home, and tried it. Not only does it come with a replacement pad, but it works way better than the stupid overpriced one. I went back and bought two more, so I figure all my eyelash-curling needs are covered for at least the next six years—for just three dollars. Every time I use the e.l.f., I think, “Nyaah, nyaah, Shu Uemura!”
3. “Taste This!”—This is my favorite TV cooking show ever. I’ve seen it only a few times, and it seems to have disappeared from the channels we get on our craptacular Basic Cable set-up, but it was so much fun to watch the main chef, Joe, bust on his hapless assistant, Bryan. They reminded me of Spike and Chester, the big dog and the little dog in the old Warner Bros. cartoons, except that Joe, the boss, would be Chester the little dog, and Bryan, the slower and sometimes hung-over one, would be Spike the big dog. They’re such New York guys (even the name of the show is neighborhoody) that it’s really entertaining to watch them, although I never paid any attention to what they were actually cooking and probably wouldn’t want to make the dishes they demonstrated. The program is still showing nationally on various cable systems, and you might be able to find it in your area by checking www.tastethistv.com. It’s worth looking for.
4. “Everyday Food” magazine—This
is more my speed: simple, basic recipes, using mostly foods that are in
season. Some of it is kind of goofy, some of it requires equipment I
don’t have (I have never owned a food processor or a microwave, for
instance), and every recipe takes me twice as long to make as they say
it will, but there are always at least two or three winners in every
issue. I like the cute little digest size, too.
5. Bertolli frozen Italian dinners for two—I
would never have tried these if they hadn’t given away free samples at
Grand Central Terminal last year, and I would’ve really missed out.
These are unbelievably simple, and make a perfectly acceptable meal
when I’m just too frazzled to cook. You open the bag, dump the contents
in a skillet, heat for 10 minutes, and it’s ready to eat. The first
time I tried the shrimp scampi with linguine, with its balls of frozen
pasta and mystery cubes of stuff, I thought, “This can’t possibly
work!” But it does—every time. There are a bunch of different ones,
with chicken, sausage, and various sauces and pastas, although I’m
partial to the shrimp. They cost about $9.00 per bag, which seems kind
of expensive until you figure it’s dinner for two. I always keep a
couple of these in the freezer so I know Sluggo won’t starve on the
nights I’m out at WFMU.
6. Guacamole Doritos—R.I.P. I wrote about these last year. I finally switched over to salsa-flavored Doritos, and now those are
disappearing. I wish I could at least have normal American tastes in
junk food, but apparently normal Americans think those vomit-inducing
“nacho cheese” flavored chips are simply yummy.
7. Kit Kat Mocha Limited Edition—At least this candy bar was intended
to disappear after a while. The mocha crème is (was) so delicious, and
made this a fine, fine, superfine snack to enjoy with a cup of black
coffee. I came across the Kit Kat Mocha L.E. in the remainder bin at
the off-brand drugstore near my house, tried one for 49¢, and went back
the next day to buy 10 of ’em to freeze and ration out over the next
three months. That was just enough, because the thrill was pretty much
gone by the time I got to No. 11. (Still made my Top-10 list for the
year, though.) Apparently there’s been a Kit Kat Coffee L.E. and a Kit
Kat Cappuccino L.E., but I’ve never had either of those so I can’t tell
you what the differences were. (This listing reminds me of Steve
Almond’s book, Candyfreak, which I heartily recommend.)
8. T.O.S.S., the McCormick Spice Date Decoder—I was absolutely giddy with delight when I found this helpful tool.
All you have to do is type in the letters and numbers printed on the
bottom of your old bottles or tins of spices, and the decoder tells you
where and when your spices were bottled. Or tinned. I tested it on an
itty-bitty plastic bottle of greenish dust from the back of our pantry,
and found out our thyme was bottled in Baltimore—in 1991! Obviously,
the decoder works only with McCormick brands, and obviously it’s
supposed to encourage you to go out and buy fresh replacement spices
from McCormick. But I ran straight to Penzeys at Grand Central, because
that’s my new favorite place, and bought some of their French rubbed
thyme. “French rubbed”—Hahahahahahaha.
9. Penzeys Spices—I’d
heard of Penzeys but never seen any of their products until they opened
an outpost in Grand Central Terminal. I hope business is good for them,
’cause I want them to stay there forever. One day I suddenly decided to
make spinach saag for dinner. I’d never made it before, but I knew I
needed some special little dried red peppers, and I couldn’t think
where in the world I’d find them unless I went all the way down to East
23rd Street. Then I remembered Penzeys: I’d been meaning to check them
out. I figured maybe they’d have the little dried red peppers that are
used in Szechuan cooking. They aren’t really the right kind, but I
thought I could use ’em anyway. Not only did Penzeys have those (called
tien tsin chili peppers), but they also had the Sanaam chili peppers I
actually needed. Yay! They have three or four kinds of everything, and
it’s all reasonably priced and really, really fresh and good. The
salespeople know their spices, and are very helpful. Penzeys have a
mail-order catalog if there’s no store near you, or you can order online,
but it's more fun to look at all the herbs, spices, seasonings, rubs,
and blends in their wee packages, and ask the salespeople about stuff
I’ve never seen before in person. P.S.—The saag came out great.
10. “Little Miss Sunshine”—This is one of the best movies ever,
and an excellent choice for faceblind people because all the characters
are identifiable throughout the film. Although it doesn’t flinch from
depicting the absolute awfulness of families, it’s the sweetest movie
I’ve seen since Harvey, and it’s really funny. Come to think of it, Harvey
was sort of about a family coming together in the face of some pretty
weird challenges, too. Maybe I’ll bracketology them and figure out
which one I like better. But Little Miss Sunshine is the one that was released last year, so it’s the one that makes this New York Fiscal New Year’s list.
Thanks for reading my first blog post in about 6 months, and may God bless.
Fantastic top 10, Bronwyn! I particularly like the spice items.
I wonder if Penzey's has belachan, which is not really a spice but fermented shrimp paste. It has a rank low tide odor, but adds a subtle note to curries...
Posted by: michael c | April 03, 2007 at 03:51 PM