For the past few weeks on my show, "Killing Time with Bronwyn C." I've been reading DJ Noah's riveting updates on the ant infestation in the WFMU studios. Last week Station Manager Ken sat in on my show and discussed my idea for putting the ants up for adoption. Here are some ants who are available now:
Jessica
Justin and Otis
Bryce Junior
Adam
And here's the questionnaire to fill out for official ant adoption. Good luck, and may God bless.
ANT ADOPTION QUESTIONNAIRE
Please fill out the following and submit it with your non-refundable adoption fee. Please note that the non-refundable fee is non-refundable.
Ant adoption is a serious responsibility. The policy of the WFMU Ant Adoption Department is to ensure that each Listener who adopts an ant is aware of the emotional, physical, and financial commitment required when taking an ant into your home. The following questionnaire has been designed to aid both you and the WFMUAAD in determining whether you and your family are adequately prepared to assume responsible ownership of an ant.
Name:
Address, City, & Zip:
Home Phone: Work Phone: Cell Phone:
How many people live in your household?
Do you have children and, if so, what are their ages?
Who will be primarily responsible for the ant?
Are there any other ants living in your home?
Are their any aardvarks or other anteaters living in your home?
Did you know that a zookeeper in Argentina was killed by an anteater last month? Really.
Do you understand that the non-refundable adoption fee is non-refundable?
Are you aware that the ant you are adopting is required to be spayed/neutered?
Can you figure out how the heck you’re going to do that?
(NOTE: The non-refundable adoption fee does not include the cost of the ant’s spay/neuter.)
Do you understand that the ant will be fitted with a teeny-tiny radio receiver before leaving WFMU?
Type of home you live in: Messy __ Dirty __ Disgusting __ Sticky with Filth __
Where would the ant be left alone, and for how many hours a day?
Have you previously owned an ant?
If so, what happened to it?
What is the primary reason you want an ant?
Are you aware that behavioral problems such as scuttling, climbing, and crawling in the trash may occur once the ant is taken home?
Under what circumstances would you not keep the ant?
wow. im not sure how this happened (the new bin at WFMU is quite a long way off..) but "Jessica" is MY ANT!!
i'd recognize that ant anywhere (and HIS name is Warren not Jessica, btw)
He wandered away from the grounds in early May ..we've been worried sick.
May we have him back? I'm sure he misses us.
Posted by: spacehoof | May 22, 2007 at 10:18 PM
He's right.
You can see from the ASHCam [East] image: that is not the real thing, but a (convincing) transvestant look-alike.
Posted by: Jessica | May 23, 2007 at 01:41 AM
See, Listener Spacehoof, this is just the sort of thing we hope to prevent by requiring prospective owners to fill out the adoption questionnaire. How did Warren "wander away?" Was he off-leash? Is your yard fenced? Was he wearing a collar, and did he have a tag with your phone number on it? (The WFMUADD does not advocate microchipping, as it interferes with the wee itty-bitty radio receivers.) I don't mean to sound critical--I don't know the exact circumstances under which Warren disappeared, and I do empathise with your loss--but we hope to place our WFMU ants with owners who will take care not to allow them to wander.
Posted by: Bronwyn C. | May 23, 2007 at 09:08 AM
Warren is one of our prized Show Ants (he's been carefully selected for his physical beauty and his
appreciable skills as an aphid herder.) Our compound here in upstate NY is fenced but we're thinking Warren escaped through the front gate which was left open by bible salesmen. This would have been on Weds, May 2.
That he made it to WFMU is a real surprise. Do you have aphids? An aphid infestation can attract ants from quite
a long distance. (side note: please keep him away from any Leafcutter ants. oh, and Warren has a mealworm-honeydew intolerance. [he's on insulin for this].)
I'd really like to come down to pick him up at some point.
Posted by: spacehoof | May 23, 2007 at 10:56 AM
You could have some of mine except that I haven't seen one of them in a few days. They had been hanging around the kitchen sink and earlier, my bathroom, every day for the past two months. I have two kinds: the larger and the smaller black ants. Maybe the Combat I bought two months ago is actually working by now. Maybe they have just moved on. If I can catch them, and the large ones are really easy to catch (they like to sit out in the open, asleep? , until you get real close to them) I've been escorting them outside. I haven't intentionally killed any of them (unless you count any "accidents" that happen as I wash dishes, walk around, take a shower...)
Posted by: lipwak | May 23, 2007 at 06:30 PM
Who will be primarily responsible for the ant?
The other ants
Are there any other ants living in your home?
See above.
Did you know that a zookeeper in Argentina was killed by an anteater last month? Really.
It wasn't leftist rebels?
Do you understand that the non-refundable adoption fee is non-refundable?
Does that mean I can't get a refund?
Are you aware that the ant you are adopting is required to be spayed/neutered?
I am now.
Can you figure out how the heck you’re going to do that?
(NOTE: The non-refundable adoption fee does not include the cost of the ant’s spay/neuter.)
A really, really teensy chainsaw.
Do you understand that the ant will be fitted with a teeny-tiny radio receiver before leaving WFMU?
It had better be.
Type of home you live in: Messy __ Dirty __ Disgusting __ Sticky with Filth __
Call Hazmat. Try to remain calm.
Where would the ant be left alone, and for how many hours a day?
The ant will be left alone all the time. I promise not to bug it. No pun intended. Okay, maybe a little.
Have you previously owned an ant?
Yes.
If so, what happened to it?
Once I was through training it, it migrated to Texas and now heads the largest colony in metro Houston.
What is the primary reason you want an ant?
Doesn't everyone?
Are you aware that behavioral problems such as scuttling, climbing, and crawling in the trash may occur once the ant is taken home?
As long as it doesn't track mud on my nice clean floor.
Under what circumstances would you not keep the ant?
When they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Posted by: Parq | May 23, 2007 at 09:31 PM
Last night Bob Shannon and Connie T. Empress (obviously inspired by your posting) donated a cast iron ant to WFMU. The ant can be found on the back wall of Studio A between the picture of Shoobie Taylor and the Michael Jacksons.
Posted by: Dave the Spazz | May 25, 2007 at 09:49 AM
You should note that sterilization is not necessary unless you adopt a winged male (all males are winged- a queen will have wings up until after her mating flight, when she removes them), or a queen, or Adam.
Worker ants, in other words all of the others, are wingless, sterile females.
Posted by: Arthur Vark | May 25, 2007 at 03:33 PM
Welcome to AdoptanAnt.Info the 1st Ant adoption agency on the internet. Have you always wanted a pet but just don't have the time to look after it. Well if that's the case this is the pet for you. Adopt your very own ant today for only £1.
What you get:
For your £1 you will receive by email a adoption certificate with your name and the ants name on. Also you will receive a certificate of your ants Unique Profile, the profile and adoption certificate will be blue if its a boy ant and pink if its a girl ant. The profile will have the following information on it.
Ants name:
Ants age:
Ants sex:
Ants personality:
Ants interests:
and more.....
You will also receive an ants fact sheet with loads of information and facts about ants. The fact sheet and adoption certificate can be printed off as a keeps safe and proof you are the proud adopter of one of the 1 million ants up for adoption. If you want you can pick the name and sex of the ant just email me the details after buying. You can also select who's name will go on the adoption certificate, so if your adopting as a gift you can have there name on the adoption certificate
Advertisement:
Not only do you get all that above but you also get the opportunity to advertise a website or web link of your choosing on the adoption list page.
Just think you can link to anything you like (as long as there are no adult contents on the site) your website, your ebay shop, your ebay listings. your my space or face book, your favorite website the list go's on and on, the possibilities are endless.
If you adopt an ant you will have your name and a link to a website of your choice added to this Adoption list. If you adopt the most ants in one go your name and link will be added to the top of every page on this website and ebay listings. Your link will stay on the website for as long as the website is on the internet, I can guarantee the website will be on the internet for a minimum of 4 years from December 2007. so that's 4 years advertisement for your website or web link.
Once your link has been added it can not be changed. the only way to get a new link added is to adopt another ant or ants.
Its one link per order no mater how many ants you adopt, if you want more then one link then you will need to buy ants ant different times. But the more ants you adopt in one go the higher up in the list you will be. if you have adopted the most you will be added to the home page of this website until some one adopts more ants then you. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.
!!! DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY DON'T DELAY ADOPT AN ANT TODAY !!!
To adopt your very own ant please visit WWW.ADOPTANANT.INFO
Thanks from Tony & the 1 million ants up for adoption.
Posted by: adopt ana nt | January 11, 2008 at 10:37 AM
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