Archie Club News #2

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about my step-father's rash..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project in which elementary school children were learning how to write a letter and encouraged to send something Riverdale way. Other times the letters were profound, bizarre or insane. That's the type of letter I wish to showcase in this series. So here then, is the second installment of Beware of the Blog's Archie Club News.

This letter originally appeared in Everything's Archie #77, August 1979:

Dear Archie,

I'm Starchild and the school I attend is called the Space Dome. The school floats on a cloud and is in the shape of an egg. The school starts at the fibus (5th) grade and goes to colony (college). Here at the Space dome, fibus and colony are only 4 grades apart. The reason for that is the highly programmed computers we have teaching us are most effective. We have recess every cardi (3 hours) and of course, lunch time is great. Just push a button and it's anything your heart desires! Subjects consist of Mathdust, Language and Job Careers, Historic Events, and Science 5. We write with small machines similar to calculators. We don't have any books because we use mini-recorders. Imagine what would happen to all of our learning if accidentally we stepped on our mini-recorders & squashed them!

Brenda Dobson
13541 Kaslo Drive
Woodbridge, Va. 22193

Brenda(Starchild)'s letter was the winner of the five dollar grand prize this issue.

Comments

[illlich]

Ahhhhh. . . the "hipster prank", what a long and glorious history it has.

[DaveX]

I have two Archie Jesus freak comics I scanned a couple days ago-- might want to check those out, especially for the insane hippie stereotype, Legion!

http://startlingmoniker.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/two-more-archie-jesus-freak-comics/

[Dale Hazelton]

"We write with small machines similar to calculators. We don't have any books because we use mini-recorders."

Now if it was signed little Stevie Jobs, THAT would be neat!

[K]

We opened doors by thinking, we went to sleep by dialing O. We drove to work by proxy, I plug my wife in just for show.

New ways, new days, I dream, of wires.

[seattlegirl]

Is anyone else freaked out that they printed this kids ENTIRE ADDRESS. Damn, that would be a serious privacy issue today.

[Michael Powers]

"We write with small machines similar to calculators." Sounds like Starchild was "texting." The whole letter is beginning to sound pretty prescient already. I wonder how many years it will take before Starchild's account more or less exactly matches reality.