365 Days #244 - Fred Blassie - Nothin' But A Pencil Neck Geek (mp3s)

MP3:
01 No Bout About It (3:09)
02 Blassie, King Of Men (4:07)
03 U.S. Male (2:41)
04 Pencil Neck Geek (4:31)
05 Mambo Remus Interview (1:20)

Dear Geek or Geekette,

It's about time you listened to this record,you grit-eatin idiot. You are looking at the greatest single achievement in the history of the human race. This record features the actual physical image of the Great one, the king of men, Fred Blassie, immortalized for all time on a hunk of cheap wax. Not to mention the most memorable, heartwarming and beloved music and prose ever captured in the recording studio.

Now you can sit there, in the privacy of your own dump, with yer beer gut hanging out and that blemish-ridden pot-of-oil you call an old lady, and the two of you can slop around for hours on end staring at my gorgeous likeness on the album jacket, while you listen to my golden pipes crooning away.

Sometimes it's tough to be as great as I am. When I was born that geek doctor was so taken with my beautiful voice that he kept on slappin' my butt just to hear a few more notes. I finally had to bite off one of his fingers.

And a word of advise for all you punk rock pinheads, new wave nitwits, and heavy metal meatballs trying to make a career out of imitating the great Fred Blassie, you've been sitting aroun' staring at that rotten MTV so long your brains have leaked out and now you think you can come aroun' here and stink up my wrestling arena. just remember,you can scream, punch, puke and pogo till your ass falls off, but you'll never be Blassie. Until next time good night, good luck and Good Riddance.

                  - Freddy Blassie

Images:
Look at the COVER pinhead!
Put on yer MASK nitwit!
Learn the Geek COMMANDMENTS!
Learn EM some more!
Now yer a REAL MAN like Blassie!

Media: 12" 45
Colour: Red
Album: Nothin' But A Pencil Neck Geek
Label: Rhino
Catalog: RNEP 502
Credits: 1988
Date: Produced by Johnny Legend

- Contributed by: The ToD

Comments

[Dr. Benway]

ohhhhh man! I hope this pave's the way for more out of print Rhino stuff to make the 365 day project. Like Kosher Club, or the World's Worst Record compilation! Now I'm itching for 'em!

[Rex Broome]

Ah, this reminds me of an almost 365-worthy cassette a friend of mine leant me as a youth, of the local record station playing Dr. Demento (the show went out as an LP) when it started skipping during this song, and nobody at the station noticed it (the DJ probably being asleep as the show was on after midnight or something)... so they broadcast a skipping section of this song for at least long enough to fill up most of one side of a C60 (or whatever). It was Blassie endlessly, hypnotically repeating "so keep-- the ground, so keep-- the ground, so keep-- the ground"... good stuff. Probaby gave the tape back to said friend. I think the other side had a bunch of SCTV sketches recorded "open air" from a television.

-Rex

[erik ok]

When I was 12, a friend had a tape of this (from the Dr. Demento, Naturally) We would listen over and over, and i never understood why it was so funny. Now that I see the cover, the mask, the certificate... it all makes sense.

[The Swill Man]

LONG LIVE THE MUSIC AND MEMORY OF FRED BLASSIE! I have the two earlier issues of this record, with the cover of him biting a guitar. In fact, I have his entire discography! Totally required listening!

[blackpage]

Hands down, my favorite fathead.

[fred]

Alot of the guitar is Billy Zoom!

[K]

That mask makes him look like the love child of Aleistair Crowley and Boris Karloff.

[The Swill Man]

I actually have Kosher Club...maybe I'll submit it if no one else does...

[Mr Fab]

Johnny Legend's second appearance in the 365 Project, after his murder songs album.

[Joe]

So did they mean to write on the certificate that it was inscribed in "authentic Greek blood," or was it supposed to be "geek blood"?

[Capt]

GREAT JUMPIN' ICEBERGS!!!

Most versions of "Pencil Neck Geek" omit the revealing & subsequent frying of the recording engineer (post 3:25 to end)!

FINALLY! A complete version of "Pencil Neck Geek"! Thanks ToD!

[Senor Chubba]

There was an answer record to this masterpeice. From the geeks point of view.