Fake Beatles No. 4: Deception on 45

As we've learned from the previous two Fake Beatles posts in this series, it's very easy to design an album cover calculated to hoodwink consumers into purchasing what they think is a genuine Fab Four long-player but is in actuality a Beatles deception disc. Here's what you need to feature in your artwork:

• The word Beetle or Beat in top-of-the-eyechart-size type, or
• A prominent display of bowl haircuts (can be disembodied), or
• Three to five guys photographed in half-shadow or leaping joyously, or
• The songs "She Loves You" and "I Want to Hold Your Hand" prominently billed, or
• Any combination of the above (the more, the deceptive-ier).

But what can a  label exec do if he has flim-flam on his mind but has to set his sights a bit more modestly, say, in the 45 rpm sphere, and thus doesn't have the luxury of a picture sleeve to perpetrate his Beatle bamboozle? The answer lies in the three i's: imply, infer and insinuate. Take the following misleading Moptop tactics employed on the following three singles as a lesson in how to circumvent the limitations of the 7-inch format:

Guess Who? Yes, that Guess Who: Later appending an initial The and dumping the question mark, Canada's finest rock combo of the late '60s and early '70s got its interrogative name by attempting to fool folks into believing its admittedly fine 1965 version of Johnny Kidd and the Pirates' "Shakin' All Over" was secretly perpetrated by a disguised Beatles. In actuality, Chad Allan and the Expressions, as they were known at the time, tried to drum up a little publicity by intimating that their beat-style wax offering was Liverpool-spawned rather than Winnipeg-crafted. To add to the confusion, the B-side of that release by the hosing hosers is a Beatled-up version of Fab fave artist Arthur Alexander's "Where Have You Been All My Life." But in for a penny, in for a Canadian Tire dollar, they figured, as they retitled the song "Till We Kissed" and swapped its Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil songwriting credit for then–Guess Who frontman Chad Allan's defrauding little name.

The "You Know Who" Group! During the height of Beatlemania, New York producer Bob Gallo wanted a piece of that sweet Beatle dosh, so he released several 45 (as well as a full LP on which four musicians appear on the cover sporting Zorro masks) under the name The "You Know Who" Group! [exclamation theirs] Once again, you were supposed to surmise that the band's conundrum of a moniker pointed to a certain Merseybeat combo traveling incognito — and you'd be wrong, of course. But wait just a mop-headed minute: The twist is that The "You Know Who" Group! was a certain Liverpool beat band famous for its later releases on Apple Records: The Undertakers were a Merseyside group that relocated stateside in 1965, and whom Gallo employed to record several "You Know Who" Group! sessions. To further connect Fake Fabs to Actual Beatles, 'Takers lead singer Jackie Lomax was one of the first signings on Apple, recording the George Harrison composition "Sour Milk Sea" and the LP Is This What You Want? on the Beatles' imprint in 1968.

John & Paul: The artists' names on this 45 illustrate a more unsubtle form of hornswoggle, which the cigar chompers at Hollywood-based Tip Records foisted on a seemingly gullible record-buying public in that magic year of the Beatles Deception Single known as 1965. If anyone thought the sides "People Say" (not the Chiffons hit), backed with "I'm Walkin'" (not the Fats Domino/Ricky Nelson smash), were actually by the John & Paul, well, what's the harm? Nothing is known about the two fellas who perhaps not so coincidentally share their given names with the dominant duo of the Fab Four, yet while a quick listen loudly screams Not The Beatles, it's a catchy couple of tunes nonetheless. Accordingly, we salute John Fonebone and Paul Cowznofski, wherever they are, for their lasting contribution to the field of Beatles deception.

Guess Who?: Till We Kissed (MP3)

The "You Know Who" Group!: (Roses Are Red) My Love (MP3)

John & Paul: People Say (MP3)

Comments

[Andrew Tonkin]

I collect Beatle ripoff rarities so I'm really enjoying the Fake Beatles series!

Great to have a nice-sounding copy of People Say—-only other version I've heard is from an old vinyl bootleg (from the "Bug Chrusher Live" days) that sounded awful.

Fascinating about the You Know Who/Undertakers connection too!

I hope you get around to the legendary "Candle Burns (Peace of Mind)" as well... popular in the vinyl days but somehow dismissed by the era of CD boots.

Keep up the good (fab) work!

[HQ]

I remember when I was about 7 or 8 begging my mom to buy a Beatles 8-track out of a cheap-o bin at K-Mart. I got it home to discover it was Beatles covers done by (I think) the Tijuana Brass (or some knock off of them).

Boy was I disappointed. Of course now, years later, I would probably listen to it, and think it was pretty funny. Back then I was just felt sad and cheated.

[Truman Fable]

Oh boy, does this take me back! My sisters could sniff out fakery like bloodhounds. They could tell at a glance which mop top belonged to which Beatle, as well as identify each voice with total accuracy. Our dad thought their talents were wasted on memorizing everything about four Brits but not caring to, say, commit the Periodic Table to memory.

I did the same as they but it was more of a "oh yeah I can do that too" sort of thing. I never did learn the Periodic Table either. At least the Beatles were funny; I never heard a single witticism out of a chemical element. Well, Molybdenum said it was the answer once, but that's it.

[Fester Bestertester]

I see that John, of "John & Paul" is credited as "John Fonebone," and I have to wonder if that's a reference to the outrageous cartoons of Don Martin, one of Mad Magazines most famous cartoonists, whose work featured a character named "Fonebone" (which was expanded to "Freenbean I. Fonebone" in at least one strip). Funnily enough, Martin, who passed away in 2000, drew a caricature of the Beatles at the time, and you'll find it here:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51aVtLhZLBL._SS400_.jpg

[wandrew]

I used to have a 45 of "On The Good Ship Lollipop" by The Wonder Who. Late 60's, don't remember label (poss. Roulette). Not an attempt at a Beatles pastiche. Wonder what happened to that record....

[Ben Century]

Speaking of Beatles deception, I just recently wrote in my blog about the fake Sgt. Pepper Soundtrack (by Abbey Road '78) I found in a thrift store. It's basically a bunch of bad studio musicians doing bad imiations of popular artists doing bad Beatles covers. (Wow, what a mouthful!)

http://classicalgasemissions.blogspot.com/2008/03/worst-album-ever.html

[handydandy]

The Beatles performing "Where Have You Been All My Life" in Hamburg, 1962:
http://www.mediafire.com/?4xsdltay14l

[Bob Shannon]

Dear Gaylord: Not familiar with The Chiffons' "People Say". Did you mean The Dixie Cups? Also is it true that Dave The Spazz and Michael Shelley said (during the 2009 fundraiser) that The "You Know Who" Group!
weren't Brits?

[Anarchitek]

You're WAY off base on the "You Know Who" Group! They were NOT The Undertakers, just a local (Brooklyn) garage band, according to Bob Gallo himself, who wandered in with a couple songs written by band member Robbie Esposito, that they wanted to record for a single. Gallo's partner came up with the name, the capes and masks, and the accents. To say those obviously phony accents are real 'Pudlians faking being Americans faking being British is to take it way too far. Like over the moon too far. IF it had been the Undertakers, they would have capitalized on it at SOME point, JUST to get the few extra bucks. Sorry, this is one of rock's little mysteries, like ?'s name, or what in the world KYU SAKAMOTO was singing in SUKIYAKI. Someone, somewhere knows, but they are keeping it to themselves. The band was probably a group of studio players, assembled by Bob Gallo, or maybe just Gallo and Esposito, playing everything. Stranger things have been true. It's not a bad track, although repeated listening soon reveals all its flaws. Once in a while, it's a nice bit of nostalgia, and the questions about the band's identities offer a pleasant diversion, when one is driving to some distant location. That's it, though, just a slight diversion, every once in a while.

[Dan Streb]

What's disconcerting is the album version of "Roses are Red My Love" is completely different than the single version I loved as a kid.