Reviews of the new film U2:3D have made it sound really cool. There's only one reason I can't bring myself to go: having to sit through 85 minutes of U2 music. Yeah, I know, hating on U2 isn't the most daring stand a fella can make. The band's list of nonfans includes Negativland, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and at least some of the good people of Africa and Scotland. And Michaelangelo Matos, who wrote that they "were precisely as full of clumsy rhetoric and/or shit as the Jefferson Airplane had been and therefore 'cared.'"
Negativland is U2's Green Goblin, and have documented well their legal and public battles with the fightin' Irish band. What began as a trademark infringement suit against Negativland for using the "U2" name on a single resulted in the best publicity the band could have dreamed of (if a tough battle for them). A book (FAIR USE: The Story of the Letter U and the Numeral 2) and a later CD (These Guys Are From England And Who Gives a Shit) document in text and audio the war. (Negativland's Mark Hosler laid out the whole story at the New School in New York in 2006. You can hear the talk right here on this very blog.)
Their newest take on the ordeal is an a cappella version of the song that started it all, from the brilliant CD 180 D'G's to the Future: The Music of Negativland as Performed by the 180 G's, included with the Our Favorite Things DVD. Let's call it Exhibit A.
180 G's - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (MP3)
After the jump, more exhibits of hoaxes and hatin' on U2.
Exhibit B
Bono was present for a conference in Tanzania in June 2007, the upshot of which was that Africa needs investment, not aid. This report comes from the online magazine The American.
After his impassioned defense of aid, an African man in the audience asked Bono, "Where do you place the African person as a thinker, a creator of wealth?"
Visibly wounded by the question, confused how anyone could misinterpret his good intentions, Bono, like the proverbial white man with black friends, set out to prove how down he is with the black man.
Africans are the "most regal people on earth" and music is their DNA, he told the room of mostly doctors, engineers, and businessmen. He then began singing a traditional Irish dirge to show us how Celtic music has Coptic roots, and so is fundamentally African. I wasn't the only one giggling in the back row.
Bono, in his awkward defense of his "Africa credo," also represents our fundamental failure to listen.
Aid can alleviate immediate misery and that is why we love it. Charity is a profoundly human response to all those images that pull on our heartstrings. But all evidence points to the maddening conclusion that, in the long run, aid not only has no positive effect on economic growth, it may even undermine it.
The only way Africa will develop and create wealth is if it can attract foreign capital and trade its goods on the world market like every other economically successful country does.
But investors are jittery. And considering what we think we know about Africa, who would blame them?
Exhibit B
That same month, Bono attended the G8 summit in Germany, where he was snubbed by Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who said "Meeting celebrities isn't my schtick." Bono had made several requests to meet with Harper during the conference.
Exhibit C
In October, 2006, Counterpunch reported on a particularly nice adaptation of an old chestnut.
A Plea to U2 from Africa's Children
Stop Bono Before He Kills Again!
By CounterPunch News Service
Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
Holding the audience in total silence, he says softly and seriously
into the microphone ..."Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies......"
A voice from near the front pierces the silence: "Well, fucken' stop
doin' it then!"
Exhibit D
The previous October, CNN's The Situation Room reported that U2 was going to play at a campaign fundraiser for Sen. Rick Santorum. (savvy readers will remember Santorum from another spectacle of righteous indignation). Media Matters reported:
On the October 11 edition 2005 of CNN's The Situation Room, CNN correspondent Ali Velshi reported as fact an Internet rumor that the rock band U2 was "set to perform in Philadelphia on Sunday at a $1,000-a-seat fund-raiser for Sen. Rick Santorum's [R-PA] re-election campaign." Velshi's report -- which contained wording similar to that in a false October 10 article on the conservative website NewsMax -- cited a claim by the "organizer of the fund-raiser" that both Santorum and U2 lead singer Bono "have strong religious convictions and are passionate in their beliefs" as an explanation for Bono's "new and perhaps surprising cause." Additionally, in a teaser for the report, anchor Kyra Phillips appeared to parrot NewsMax when she asked, "Why is U2's Bono teaming up with a conservative Republican senator?" Though Velshi later acknowledged that he had been "hoaxed," his retraction did not reference NewsMax, the event's "organizer," or any other possible source for his false report.
Exhibit E
On May 21, 2005, public scene-causers Improv Everywhere (best known for their annual pantless subway rides) staged a fake U2 concert on a rooftop near Madison Square Garden on the afternoon of the group's concert. The stunt ranked number 23 on VH1's "40 Greatest Pranks.
Ancillary Evidence
A poster named SadIrishEyes76 was writing fake U2 posts on Wikipedia in January. He created entries for albums called Blindness and How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (Assembly Edition), as well as the band's Annihilation Tour. Unfortunately they were gone before I saw them (anyone who knows more, please post in the comments section).
Clinton McClung has done some laudable work on this very blog, including the heartwrenching cover of "One" performed by Bank of America brass celebrating their merger with MBNA in 2006, and the subsequent legal threats after a video was leaked. The YouTube clip has been removed, but check the Quicktime link. Mr. McClung also provided documentation of Hotlanta Artiste DeAundra Peek's cover of "Mysterious Ways."
Summary
In fairness, any entertainer who takes political positions opens him or herself up ridicule. But it's not Bono's politics that make him so despicable. It's the fact that he and his band of strident men have been on the same earnest and chorus-drenched march for three decades. When's the last time you heard somebody say "Hey, I really like the new U2 song." I mean, do they make good songs? But I shouldn't be so harsh. I'll no doubt be eating my words once the Spiderman musical comes out. It's being directed by Julie Taymor, who put Bono in her Beatles movie, so it's a guaranteed hit.
Until then, we have the 3D movie. Maybe if I get some of those Bose noise-canceling headphones, I could go to the movie and just listen to my iPod. On second thought, maybe I'll just charge it up and go for a walk.
You didn't mention the recent (last season) South Park episode where it was proven that
Bono is the biggest piece of crap in the world ... LITERALLY!
Posted by: Bill | March 14, 2008 at 08:43 AM
You know that if you play 'How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb' backwards, you hear Bono giving complete and easy to follow instructions on how to build one?
Posted by: scruss | March 14, 2008 at 09:21 AM
Bono may not have done a benefit for Santorum, but he did hang with Jesse Helms. Just google "bono jesse helms" and you find a lot of references. I think it's hilarious that Helms said of Bono "There is no pretense about him." Shows how out of touch with reality he was.
My personal favorite U2 bashing was from McSweeney's (Postcards from "The Edge"):
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/20malla.html
Posted by: Doug | March 14, 2008 at 09:36 AM
Negativland and U2 may have their differences but they aren't as mired in enmity as you might think. It was the overzealous lawyers/labels supposedly protecting their so-called "intellectual property" that really waged that battle. From an interview between Mark Hosler, Don Joyce and The Edge in Mondo 2000 posted on Negativland's website:
The Edge: I know you've really taken a kicking and I'm really sorry about how it's all come out, Island Records hasn't been affected, but we have gotten so much shit in the media about all this, and it's really annoying.
Don Joyce: That's what I think, and that's why it was really, from your band's perspective, a totally wrong move that the label took.
The Edge: Yeah.
Posted by: utm | March 14, 2008 at 10:53 AM
The Tanzanian press conference one seemed to smell a little John Stossel-y. Then I read a little more on 'The American' and found that it's little more than The New Republic pandering to the Utne crowd.
Posted by: A Chair | March 14, 2008 at 03:55 PM
Of course u2 are pretentious assholes.
Their guitarist insists on being called "The Edge".
What more proof do you need?
Posted by: Norm | March 14, 2008 at 05:33 PM
I hope no one minds if I plug my own somewhat dated Bono-bashing bit here:
http://www.habitsofwaste.wwu.edu/issues/3/iss3art2a.shtml
Posted by: Said Shirazi | March 14, 2008 at 06:53 PM
I'm not a fan of U2 but it always annoys me when people have to hate something. Why can't you just listen to your Negativeland Land music and let those who like U2 listen to their music? If you disagree with their politics, then discuss the issues. Making it personal is childish. The whole purpose of Kurt's posting was just to dump some hate, and then more haters came out and piled on. I hope you all grow up some day.
Posted by: Sad Sack | March 14, 2008 at 08:34 PM
Their biggest hypocrisy, imho, was when their corporation left Ireland for the Netherlands to get a better tax rate. Never mind that Ireland uses some of it's tax dollars to saving the African children Bono cares so much about as he drives to his mansion in his Maserati. Nice.
Posted by: Ed | March 14, 2008 at 10:57 PM
Kurt seems to think that celebrities should not express political opinions. I disagree. The problem with Bono is not that he has political opinions, but that his opinions are vacuous and potentially harmful. The very fact that the "investment vs. aid" argument caught him off guard shows how shallow his thinking is. Someone once said of Charlie Chaplin, "His problem is that he thinks that he has deep thoughts." That is even more true of Bono.
Posted by: Austin | March 15, 2008 at 04:29 AM
On the topic of the 180 Gs, I actually did an interview with David Minnick, the founder of the group here, and I dug it. Not much on the U2 side of things, but hey.
As for the Mondo 2000 interview; I don't take that as evidence. Firstly, U2 never came through with the money promised, and at a 2004 conference, Mark was giving a speech and REM's manager mentioned that it was his fault they got sued (to which, Mark shouted "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!", which is a perfectly understandable exclamation). His story (whether or not it's true -- though prior to this, Negativland HAD tracked down the source of the original copy in the lawsuit as having been sold in Athens, GA): U2 and REM were friends, and U2'd heard about the Negativland Single. They, through their manager, asked REM's manager to pick up a copy for them. He complied, thinking (or so he says) "Oh, they just want to have a copy for their collection, to laugh over and whatnot", and soon after, the lawyers came out.
... which, you know, I guess would explain why U2 never stopped "Island" from suing, nor came through on their offer to loan/give Negativland money to cover court costs. But it didn't stop them from basically ripping Negativland off wholesale for Zoo TV...
...so, you know, basically, fuck U2.
(and for the record, even though I'd still disagree with them, I'd have way, way more respect for them had they just come out and said "We really do think Negativland was in the wrong to make their sleeve look like that and use the 30-second sample". Instead, they did this whole playing-both-sides-of-the-fence thing of secretly being the instigators of the lawsuit while publicly going "OH NO THIS IS HORRIBLE! SORRY THAT WE WON'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT THOUGH!! OUR HANDS ARE TIED!! DON'T THINK THAT PART THROUGH AT ALL, THOUGH!!")
Posted by: Rev. Syung Myung Me | March 15, 2008 at 02:28 PM
I've been agonizing over whether to go to the movie too, and I still might, because it sounds like amazing visuals worth the admission. But if I put it off long enough, it'll go away, and then I won't have to agonize over giving money to U2!. Win-win! It's a slam dunk!
Posted by: boil | March 15, 2008 at 10:53 PM
To be fair, Stephen Harper is a horrible, charisma-less, uber-conservative douchebag that hates gays, art, poor people, and people with aspirations of any sort, so being cold-dissed by him is, if anything, a validation of U2.
Posted by: Dickbrain | March 16, 2008 at 11:02 AM
i am a fan of u2 AND negativeland, which for a cool guy like me is a pretty daring stance to take. bono is definitely a douche bag and always has been (but so are a WHOLE LOT of other great performers, lest we forget). u2 have always been a good band but they really haven't put out a solid album since... achtung baby, and it astounds me that their fame continues to grow. for me, the thing that really ruined u2 was when they played the 2002 superbowl halftime "tribute" to the victims of 9/11. that was a propaganda event on par with a nuremberg nazi rally. it gave me the shivers. now i see bono "chilling" with oprah and al gore and i just wanna barf. i think we know what your real priorities are mr. hewson--making mega money and staying mega famous--africa be damned!
Posted by: waylon solos | March 16, 2008 at 03:58 PM
I remember reading that "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb" by U2 was playing as Joey Ramone passed away ....I just though, couldn't he have just asked someone to turn it off?
Posted by: patrock | March 19, 2008 at 02:52 PM