FEMA B Txtn Me, OMG!!! ;)

Our nation's Emergency Alert System (EAS) was created by the FCC, FEMA, and the National Weather Service to warn the public about imminent danger in the form of important weather announcements, civil emergencies, and Presidential messages. Broadcasters are required to maintain and participate in the EAS system, airing any and all messages the feds fancy us to relay to the listening public.

Here at WFMU, we joke a lot about the EAS. In recent years, the system accidentally called for an evacuation of the entire state of Connecticut, failed to pass on any announcements whatsoever on 9/11, and warned folks along the Delaware River about a flood by requiring broadcasters in the area to announce that "A civil authority has issued a civil emergency." Though we must admit, the EAS warning for Hurricane Katrina was indeed accurate, and carried an appropriate doomsday-esque tone, the system is far from perfect, a fine example of bureaucracy getting in the way of good intentions. Hence, all of those "Unknown Event" or "Marine Sector" warning messages you hear WFMU DJs read over the air from time to time.

Ken warned us about this 2 years ago, but yesterday the feds finally approved a plan to send EAS messages to our nation's cell phones via text messages. And what's even better than getting a government-sanctioned emergency text message? The message will be delivered with its own unique ringtone! Will it be "The Imperial March"? Will it be "Carmina Burana"? How about "The Macarena"?

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for more text message spam! There are 3 types of txts that the gov't can send you:

1. Presidential messages. For example: "Dis bbq s orsum!", "w@ did Putin sA?"

2. Imminent threats. Example: "OMG Tornado, fnd Toto n run 4 covR! :("

3. Amber Alerts. Example: "12 y/o abductd, blk van, NJ pl8s"

Rest assured, you'll be able to opt out of this new EAS wonder... but good god, why deny yourself?!

Comments

[schultzy]

I get the impression that radio stations don't know when the ETS test message gets broadcast because on NPR stations I've heard it come on in the middle of all the important NPR talk talk talk.

The first few tense months in the wake of 9/11 that ETS distortion tone would be broadcast and I would think "I my god, we've been attacked" only to find out following the tone from the nice gentlemanly voice that it was just another test. FUCKIN'A dude!

[Liz B.]

You're right, Schultzy, many stations that are operated remotely or that simulcast programming from elsewhere have their EAS machine set to simply interrupt programming whenever there's an alert (simply because there isn't a DJ in the studio to read the messages intended for communities served by those stations, or there isn't a studio period).

WFMU proper requires DJs to handle/read/send all EAS messages, while WXHD (WFMU's other frequency in upstate NY) is set to run EAS messages automatically. Because WXHD serves different counties than WFMU and we do not have a separate studio for WXHD, EAS messages that apply to WXHD territory must get to the people somehow. It certainly sounds bad when those tones interrupt programming so suddenly!

[Listener James from Westwood]

I was briefly part of the EAS chain of command when I was asked, during this Marathon, to run the EAS printout in to Diane Kamikaze for her to read on air. This is as close as I'm likely to get to waking up the President to inform him or her of nukes lighting up Manhattan/the Big One hitting LA/flying saucers frying Area 51/etc.

[WinstonSmith]

I'm very curious, why is it that WFMU is the only station of all those I listen to that frantically interupts a great program to read announcements of some flood watch in some far-flung county? I mean when these announcements happen, the level of urgency makes it sound as if the world were in imminent danger.

I NEVER hear anything like this occur on any of the other radio stations I listen to. And I do listen to quite an array of other station both in the NYC area and on-line. Do these rules somehow only apply to WFMU?
Comments anyone?