It's a Wonderful New Woman's World (mp3s)

1. Overture (2:59)
2. It's a Wonderful New Woman's World (2:13)
3. Sing Along Instrumental (2:08)
4. Children's Vocal (2:14)
5. Rock Instrumental (1:32)
6. International (5:57)
7. It's a Wonderful New Bestline World (2:14)
8. How to Book a Bestline Party (7:30)

Ladies, it's 1970. Everyone's telling you that staying at home to raise a family makes you a square. You'd like the extra money, but hubby wants his dinner on the table and the kids need help with homework. How can you possibly have the best of both worlds?

Home sales, of course. And if you thought that Tupperware, Avon and Amway were your only choices, you haven't heard of Bestline. Not only will you be selling some of the best cleaning products on the market, but they're all biodegradable, putting you ahead of the green movement by about three decades.

All of this pales, however, to the most incredible gift that any working saleswoman could ever hope to receive...

...the Baconizer! Sure it's the size of a PlayStation 3 and an obvious fire hazard, but this miracle appliance makes plate after plate of tasty bacon without all that messing around with stoves and pans. Bacon in bed? Put one on your nightstand for those late-night bacon cravings. These ladies agree that Bestline is the most incredible thing that ever happened to them. (Sorry to say that the small image size makes it impossible to see the empty wine glass sitting next to the woman in the kitchen).

Bestline, and its line of biodegradable cleaning products, are lost to the cruel fates of capitalism, but this album gives us a glimpse at home-business marketing in the days when increasing numbers of women were abandoning the traditional stay-at-home Mom role in favor of building their own careers. What sets this one apart is its obvious pandering to the conflicting emotions some women felt. It's steeped in the Queen imagery of the 1950s and dripping with "you can have it all" messages. To quote from "It's a Wonderful New Woman's World,"

Here is a world where you can reign like a queen
Reign with the knowledge that you do what others dream
You'll win new friends and satisfaction too
It's a new world fashioned just for you

Side one gives us an assortment of musical motivation. Once you learn the lyrics to "It's a Wonderful New Woman's World," you're ready to take on the "Sing Along Version." The "Children's Vocal" deserves special mention, in part because it sounds like the kids were dragged out of bed at 3 AM to sing it, and because it's guaranteed to clear a room if you've got stragglers at your next party.

"How to Book a Bestline Party" introduces you to Sue Miller and her wonderful experiences as a Bestline Cameo Girl. Don't forget, gals, that recruiting more salespeople is just as important as selling your products in the world of multilevel marketing. Once you've got a Baconizer for every room in your home, you'll need that percentage you earn from your recruits to keep things interesting.

Comments

[JW]

This one's got a great booklet in the gatefold...music also by Harry Betts, who did the soundtrack to "The Fantastic Plastic Machine."

I found another Bestline record after this one was produced, which basically stinks, but has the most amazing multi-page booklet of people partying at the Bestline convention.

[Hear It Wow]

Shame on me. I got so sidetracked by thoughts of crispy bacon that I forgot to mention Harry Betts.

I can tell you that there are no Baconizers on eBay, but I can't tell you much about the life of Betts, who worked extensively in television scoring and did some movie work as well. Betts is credited for the arrangements on legendary disco flick Thank God It's Friday as well as Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams. Alongside Burt Bacharach, Betts composed many themes for ABC televsion in the late 1960s and early 1970s, including the Monday Night Movie Theme. Betts is also credited with the Morecambe and Wise show in 1971, which suggests that he might be of English descent, as the BBC was less than welcoming toward foreign staff for its television shows in those days.

The International medley on the album shows a composer who knows his breezy, pan-European influences, with more than a hint of Morricone in some passages.

[Megan]

holy cow hear it wow, where did you pick this up?

[Hear It Wow]

This album was tucked away in the overhead bins at Looney Tunes on Berkeley Street in Boston, alongside a bit of Chevrolet industrial musical that will be popping up on this blog in the future.

As a general rule, the Looney Tunes on Mass. Ave. in Cambridge is a much better source for eccentric audio.

[BP]

Wow, my father actually bought into Bestline, we had a garage full of cleaners for several years. Did not make a dime...