Music: Why Can't I Get Rid of This Crap?

Freed from a weekly radio commitment, I now relish the opportunity to listen to music the old way, the natural way, without always auditioning everything and imagining segues and conceptual ties, calculating the booty-shake quotient and all that baggage. This, of course, necessitates an honest reappraisal of my record collection, a little soul-searching, and some cold hard looks at just why the hell I'm hanging onto three John Denver records. 

Other questions I'll have to ask: is there really any reason for anyone to actually own a Beatles record?  And do I love John Cale so much that I'd repeatedly sit through The Academy in Peril like I was guzzling raw egg yolk?  I'll address all these questions and more, and acknowledge up front that the general impulse at work is no doubt sentimental and fetishistic.  e.g., I don't like Caribbean Sunset either, but I'm untroubled by that because I don't have it.

Alright, here goes...

John Cale The Academy In Peril  I've listened to this album in its entirety once, maybe twice; I've begun to listen to it countless times, and been knocked catatonic by its total aimless boredom nearly every time. But it's Cale, with an amazing Warhol cover, and a great title, and all these weird associations I inexplicably have for it that make me get just a little excited every time I flip by it on the shelf.  But I can't stand it, go figure!  So I'll probably always have it.

The Beatles.  What's the point?  It's hardly worth having an opinion about The Beatles, let alone any of their records.  But I've got both.  Aside from Beatles for Sale, that fantastic melancholic and miserable downer, the only reason I keep any other Beatles record is because someone keeps stealing all of the WFMU library's copies.  Not a good reason.  Have I got the strength of my convictions to get rid of them?  Wish me luck.

Jump!!  There's more...

Hawkwind Hall of the Mountain Grill  Ohhhh, Hawkwind.  I don't even like looking at this record; and I'm a man who loves looking at Hawkwind records, the Barney Bubbler, the better.  Hmm... you know, I think I can do it - I think this one's getting the heave-ho.  Considering all the massive testaments to the life-force Hawkwind released before this new age dud, it's like I always used to say about Porno For Pyros: as long as Jane's Addiction records exist, why would anyone listen to this? 

Catherine Riberio + Alpes La Déboussole This record's in the same league as John Cale for me- I am so enamored of so much that Mme Ribeiro is responsible for that it kills me to even allow myself to not totally worship something she's done. But following so many years of intense howling, direct connection to her demonic muse, primal body rhythms and 25-minute slow burns, this 1980 collection of flange bass-driven dance-prog just breaks my heart.  I'll never listen to it, and I'll never part with it.  (Plus it was hella expensive!)

John Denver, christ, I don't know!  But here's my guess: the know-it-all contrarian in me declares that J.D. wrote some really great songs but, like The Carpenters, you couldn't tell until you heard someone else doing them, blah blah blah.  In John Denver's case, the someone else in question is usually the Red House Painters.  So, what?  I'm holding onto these records so that one day I can show all o'you mooks how wrong you were about this guy?  Nah, that doesn't fly (pardon the pun).  I guess I'm just a sucker for wide open sus 2 chords on an acoustic guitar.  And hawks.

Of course, the best reason to hold onto stuff is what I call the The Law of BÖC, which states that I'll see a record on my shelf and consider it shit, and so get rid of it; then six months later I'll see a copy in a bin at a record store and feel all fuzzy for that one song and be compelled to buy it again.  I've done this with Tyranny and Mutation three times, and goddammit, it's embarrassing  (and please don't tell me to download that one song - it's more complicated than that!)  So, I will never get rid of another Blue Öyster Cult album. 

Oh god, it just happened! I'm filling in for the great Billy Jam this afternoon and thought I might like to play this really nuts & noisy version of "Leaving On a Jet Plane" by the St Louis band Grandpa's Ghost, I've got like 4 or 5 CDs by them, it's on The Tumble / Love album, right? cool, lemme go g--- FUCK!  That's the one I got rid of!!

But I've still got three John Denver albums...

Comments

[The Pube]

I can so relate, I have bought 2 albums 3 maybe 4 times each.
Mekanik Destruktiw Kommandoh by Magma ( Frog prog sung in made up language, repeat 52 times , cool !) and Sally Can't Dance by Lou Reed.
Each time I buy I realise I hate them. Maybe the CD will sound "better", no, it doesn't.
I think it's a "syndrome", probably called something like "Naive Bastard Syndrome".
Glad I am not alone.

[protogenes]

To lump the Beatles in with Hawkwind and John Denver is a crime of unspeakable immensity.

[Captain Wrong]

Yeah, way to insult Denver and Hawkwind. ;)

Anyway, man, you are singing my song. Had a radio show myself for ages and the station had only jazz and classical in their library. So, I acquired a ton of stuff because I might want to play it some time. Before I knew it, I had all the Cream records, and I don't even like 'em!

When I quit the show, I took about 8 or 9 moving boxes of records to Goodwill. Yes, insanity, I know, but I look at it this way. Most of the records came from Goodwill, so sending them back there is just good karma. :D

I still have way more records than any one person needs. One of these days, I'll slim it down again, I guess.

[Less Lee Moore]

Hahaha, oh boy, can I relate to this. It's so bad that I find full sentences of review text constantly springing to mind whenever I hear music.

As for "The Law of BOC" I've only ever been through this once, when in a fit of musical jingoism in 1995, I ditched all of my Depeche Mode CDs except Violator. I had to go back and buy all the damn things again about five years later. Thankfully used CD bins were still plentiful.

The biggest piece of crap I can't get rid of is that Stinkfist CD with Clint Ruin, Lydia Lunch, and Sonic Youth. Don't get me wrong, I adore JG Thirlwell. But I really dislike that CD, no matter how many times I try to get into it. Perhaps its the cover of a naked JGT writhing against the incredibly hot Ms. Lunch in a cemetary, or perhaps it's the fact that I found it for less than ten bucks in a used CD bin, but it has stayed with me for many years now.

[poga]

Yes Fuck the Beatles! More Beatles Hate Please
I'm so glad to come across a blog entry somewhere that doesn't mention them in the same way as if their talking about Mozart or Martin Luther King. Fuck those pretentious sappy windbags!

It might help you dump the Beatles' records if you simply think of them as a scouser skiffle band that got lucky.

[WmMBerger]

Scott, this is a funny thing to muse upon, and something we all think about but is so rarely voiced. I'm all for killing one's idols, for sure; if they made a crap record, call 'em out on it! I just happen to like The Academy in Peril; I think of it as a very personal recital with Mr. Cale—I absorb it as an album, a feel—I also think of it as kindred to those Antony Moore/Faust albums, and appreciate it in much the same way. Couldn't agree more on Hall of the Mountain Grill—total rubbish—even Lemmy's song is bad. And The Beatles, well, I listened to the UK Rubber Soul recently, and was riffing on how self-absorbed and misogynistic all the lyrics were. It occurred to me that they were really dickheads at that point in their history. Those are some great songs, but it's true enough that I never really need to hear The Beatles again. >>I can't believe someone said something negative about MDK! If you don't appreciate the whole pie of what Magma is, why own any of their records at all? Get rid of it, it doesn't like you either!<< In terms of a personal equivalent for what you describe, I did realize recently that I don't need to own all the Dead C and Skullflower records that I have...there are a few that are truly exceptional (Clyma est Mort, Trapdoor Fucking Exit, DR503; This Is...., Adieu, All You Judges); the bulk are just a bunch of waaaahh waaaahhh bzzzz guitar noise drum beat mumble repeat, very wanky, there's a ton of releases and I somehow own them all.

[Dale Hazelton]

I was just cleaning up the attic and moving all my records around (don't yell, it does'nt get that hot up there) and wondering just why I need 2 copies of The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart or 3 of The Smothers Brothers Live at the Green Onion. Let alone the mostly horrible solo albums by all the Moody Blues that I'll never get rid of just because you can't find them at the corner FYI. Do I really need those Firestone or Western Auto 1960s compilations of country artists when FMU gives me all the old timee country fix I need? Should I keep the 12 inch 45s of crap like Junior singing "Momma Used to Say" or that Bobby Orlando flop the Flirts singing "Don't Put Another Dime in the Jukebox"? Monica would dig those maybe, so perhaps a drive to Jersey city is in order.

[Dale Hazelton]

Oh, I heard "Fly Away" on the radio for the first time in like 15 years. I still got that giddy teenage feeling when I heard Olivia Newton John's creamy background vocals.

[illlich]

Years ago I found that John Cale record in a used bin. . . but there was no LP inside, just the Warhol cover. I bought it anyway. In fact I have done this a number of times when I've found a record I like (or in the case of Cale, feel I SHOULD like) that was missing the vinyl, so I have a pile of JUST COVERS, maybe about 50 of them.

Is this a better or worse affliction than buying the same Lp over and over?

I realized years ago that I DON'T need EVERY album by an artist I admire; once I had acquired every Capt. Beefheart studio LP, plus a few bootlegs, I thought "Why do I need 'Bluejeans and Moonbeams'? -- there's only one good song on it, and 'Unconditionally Guaranteed' is similarly crappy"-- so I ditched them with no regrets. Same with "Hall of the Mt. Grill", yeah, it stinks.

Think of it this way-- next time you have to move, it's one (or two or three) fewer boxes of records you gotta cart up and down the stairs.

Of course I still have about 400 crappy easy listening/MOR/AOR/folky/novelty records that I keep because I intend to throw them into a sampler and make some DJ Shadow-styled masterpiece. That pile just keeps getting bigger. It's worse than having a record with only one song you like on it-- it's a record you DON'T like with one tiny snippet you want to sample and loop.

[bartleby]

Congratulations to "the pube" fore seizing the opportunity to use the term "frog prog."

Hall of the Mountain Grill, while my least favorite of the Hawkind albums I have, is O.K. once in a while. Goat Willow is not bad, granted its like :45 and Lost Johnny is interesting. There's way worse, and I think Barney Bubbler is actually a plumber in Chicago specializing in drinking fountains. Maybe I am partial because it's the first Hawkwind I'd ever purchased.

[Rebel Yell]

Yeah! The Beatles aren't all that great! I'm contrary! I'm an untamable aesthetic outlier, Mr. Businessman!

[Paul Ramone]

Now I understand why you don't have a radio show anymore...

[Matt]

Don't want to incur any wrath here, but I own about 7 Tom Waits albums, and I really, really don't like Tom Waits. Even better, when people go into raptures over him, it really irritates me. Like the guy who gets seizures from Mary Hart's voice. Just something that never clicked. Thought I was vindicated when I heard Capt. Beefheart and thought, "alright, scratchy voice. He's the real deal."

But I kept trying, even borrowed a friend's Early Tom Waits (vol.1 or something) to see if I missed something before he became - you know, the legend - and never got around to giving it back.

Still have them. Ain't taking up much space, so don't think I'll get rid of them any time soon, but it's a weird "I want to/I don't want to," cycle of trying to get rid of them.

Anyway, I'm stumped. I liked the post. Especially the Beatles part. It's about as good an opinion as any.

[ken in denver]

I identify completely. I have hundreds of LPs and CDs I'll probably never play again but can't bring myself to get rid of. Maybe I'm waiting for their value to skyrocket and finance my retirement. Twenty years ago, in a CD-buying frenzy, I sold off about two crates' worth of LPs to finance my new habit and I'm still kicking myself for it, even though I don't actually miss most of the records for any musical reason. Compulsion is hard to explain, I guess.

[st vincent]

Indeed, the inexplicable... why do I have two copies of "Knockers Up!" by Rusty Warren, three copies of "Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette" on 78, and six sides of Nervous Norvus? Actually, I luvs my Nervous Norvus, even if he did keep trying to make "Transfusion" over and over again until he died from alcoholism.

Sure, yeah, who really ever needs to hear The Beatles again? (I usually save that sentiment for "Stairway to Heaven"). But I still play 'em anyway, nyah. I saw their appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show for the first time a few weeks ago on DVD (I would have been about 6 months old when it was live) and dug it a lot more than I thought I would... collapsing mic stands and all. The suits, the tight vocals, the cool stage props, all good stuff. And I thought John looked pretty cool with that weird legs-apart stance of his.

If you have an LP copy of "Revolver: that you're going to ditch, you can send it my way.

[Taxman]

The last time I moved from one state to the other, I only had room for one box of records. These were the only artists I took with me:
Beethoven (includes 4 versions of the Sixth)
Bach
Tchaikovsky
Tangerine Dream (should have taken Pink Floyd instead)
The Beatles
Vince Guaraldi

There are a lot of other artists mentioned in this post and comments. I never owned a record by any of them, and that includes Mozart and John Cale. I can only laugh and never take seriously someone who owns a John Denver album.

[ken in denver]

A little off the subject, maybe, but Alan Zweig made an interesting documentary called Vinyl about obsessive record collecting. http://www.journalism.ryerson.ca/online/replay/altlife/rsimonetta.htm

[Marcus]

Taxman, I can only laugh at someone who ends up wistfully pining for the Pink Record album they left in another state. That's rich!

[Taxman]

Marcus, you misunderstand. What I meant was that I no longer think too highly of Tangerine Dream. I could have used that space for PF instead, or maybe the Rolling Stones. Thank you for your concern over my wistful pining, but I bought CD's as replacements. I was planning on doing that anyway as my LP's were pretty worn by repeated playings of such great music.

[The Pube]

"I can only laugh at someone who ends up wistfully pining for the Pink Record album they left in another state"

Is there some kind of record collector version of the Mann act ?
Can you only buy Pink Floyd in certain states (stoned) dear Lord let it be so ?

Wouldn't it be great to base a show on records which people have bought but don't like ?

For the record, I think the Beatles, as you guys say, "suck asses" but then I'm not from Liverpool ( I BUY all my stuff).

[The Pube]

Me again, just got to say I love the little box that pops up to "prevent robots from posting".
What are they gonna say "I love Kraftwerk" ?

It would be against the law here "robotist".

[Chris Andrews]

Yes its true - vinyl is lovely. Big pictures and great warm sounds. When CDs became cheap here in the UK I purged all my local charity
shops of their easy listening albums ( 50p or $1) and now have a shelf full of some really great stuff - you know "Beatles, Bach and Bacharach go Bossa" and I have more vinyl since CDs arrived than ever. MONO BEATLES albums were a real find. I hate CDs the jewell cases and digital clarity and look forward to their demise and welcome the free fuzzy mp3 downloads.

[Concerned Citizen]

No, Taxman, you misunderstand -- I think what Marcus was trying to say was, "What a dick!"

[Taxman's Shrink]

I feel sorry for those that hate. As the greatest band in the world once sang, "the love you take is equal to the love you make." The same is true of hate. Your lives must be filled with misery and loneliness. There's a difference between not liking John Denver's music and hating those who do. Coments like "what a dick!" reveal the speaker to be devoid of any understanding or appreciation of music and humanity. Their bitterness causes them to rail against anything beautiful or uplifting because it conflicts with their own wretchedness and self pity.

At first, I thought Scott W's original post was about him trying to come to terms with this type of hatred, but now I wonder. Perhaps he and others like him feel a need to hold on to a physical artifact of the targeted hate lest their hearts soften or become oblivious to that which they despise. By keeping the thorn in their side they never have to let go of the hate which brings them more satisfaction than listening to something else they might actually enjoy.

Scott, get rid of the Denver records if you don't like him. Same for the Beatles. You'll be discarding some of your own self-hatred in the process.