The Cold Hard Facts Of Life (MP3s)

Since there's no such thing as too much overkill, today we're shining the spotlight on a ridiculously generous sampling of The Cold Hard Facts Of Life, one of singer and songwriter Bill Anderson's most expertly-crafted tunes.   Sure, Anderson wrote a plethora of great songs, but for my money none of them tops The Cold Hard Facts Of Life.  Originally recorded by Porter Wagoner in late 1966, the song tells the story of a hapless chump who returns home from a business trip a few days earlier than expected only to find his wife gettin' busy with another dude, a discovery that prompts him to guzzle some booze and reach vengefully for a big sharp knife.  Whenever people discuss their all-time favorite cheating songs, The Cold Hard Facts Of Life is sure to be prominently mentioned. 

The Cold Hard Facts Of Life is not only a great song title, it also functions as a fun and memorable catchphrase that can be employed anytime somebody learns a bitter lesson the hard way.  For instance, if you're an experienced NYC bicyclist and your ride gets stolen when you let a complete stranger "borrow" your bike so he can assess how it handles, it could (and should) be said that you learned the cold hard facts of life.

Porter Wagoner  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:12)

Ernest Tubb  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:20)

Bill Anderson  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:44)

Stonewall Jackson  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:22)

Johnny Darrell  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:12)

Ferlin Husky  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:05)

Freddie Hart  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (2:39)

T. Tex Edwards  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:03)

Rudi Protrudi  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:14)

Carpetbaggers  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:02)

Ollie Austin  -  The Cold Hard Facts Of Life  (3:02)

Additionally, it's worth noting that Porter Wagoner's 1967 Cold Hard Facts Of Life LP featured an incredibly dramatic cover shot that recreated one of the song's most pivotal events: the moment when Porter opened the door to confront his cheating spouse.  Perhaps the most amazing part of this story is the fact that the cover of the album was shot in Porter Wagoner's very own apartment.  Thanks to Steve Eng's superb Wagoner biography, I was able to learn the exact address of the apartment in question, a discovery which inevitably led to the photo above.  More details are available here.  Yes, I mentioned this story  previously on Beware Of The Blog, but it would be pretty delusional to think that people read and remembered such useless crap.

Comments

[Holmes!]

I remembered! My jealousy still burns...

[Jaybird]

Perhaps if Porter had legs as hot as yours, his spouse wouldn't have looked for love elsewhere. Va-va-voom!

[Rich]

What? Spade Cooley didn't cover that gem?

I dunno why Red Sovine never covered this. Seems like it would've been right up his tear stained alley.

For what it's worth, Scandinavian retro garage rockers the Nomads released an amusing CHFOL piss-take, using the same title and jacket, but with a twist on the back side, where the wife's walking in on her husband and another guy.

[Jesse]

wow, thanks for posting all those versions! you can see why Porter had the hit. he had the most soulful delivery of the bunch. another great song by Bill Anderson on that same record is "The First Mrs. Jones", one of the spookiest murder ballads i can think of.

[Debbie D]

CHFOL!

[Dan]

So goddamn good. Thanks again for these, I always look forward to your country flotsam posts.

[wsst1000]

As a Porter obsessed person for many years, I've performed "The First Mrs. Jones" as a storytelling recitation. It is extremely disturbing.

In CHFOL I love the way Porter delivers the line, "Lord you should have seen their frantic faces." It sounds like the murderer is smirking as he recalls the amusing incident.

How about a collection of the other frequently covered Porter Wagoner song, "The Rubber Room"?

[Hell's Donut House]

Who could forget? I have that album cover framed on my office wall.

[Andrew Smith]

Thank you for a most interesting site, and for tracking down Porter's old apartment - fascinating. The Cold Hard Facts of Life is a cleverly constructed and well written song: I wrote to Bill Anderson about it. He said that he was very pleased when the final line ("But who taught who the cold hard facts of life") came to him, and was unaware of all the versions of the song recorded. He should be given credit for his songwriting genius for this and other songs (eg "The First Mrs Jones", "Confessions Of A Broken Man") recorded by Porter.

I think the Porter Wagoner version is enhanced by the fiddle playing of Mac Magaha, which tends to give it a manic feel. (Other musicians were Pete Drake, Jerry Reed, George McCormick, Don Warden, Buck Trent, Jr Huskey, Jerry Carrigan, Pig Robbins). It was recorded November 11, 1966. There is a certain tension in Porter's version which is not always present in other versions.

Thanks again for diligent research and for this very interesting site.

Andrew Smith (Australia)