Unfortunate Animal Encounters of the Musical Stars

Seems there's definitely a bug at the WFMU lunch table, but even before Ryan Seacrest's self-inflicted shark wound, I'd been worried about the increasing regularity with which the beasts have been attacking the celebs.  Musicians, mostly.  I mean that's who I'm worried about.  It started in April, when I learned of Richard Thompson's run-in with a scorpion in Mexico.  Here's 5 amazing true-life tales. 

(Rock Star Animal #6: Prince by Brian Taylor Illustration, which has more.)

Richard Thompson v. the Scorpion  Richard Thompson was once The Human Fly, and even tussled with The Lobster; but nothing fazed the scorpion who'd snuck into his Dirty Linen!  While on vacation near Puerto Vallarta earlier this year, the legendary Fairport Convention founder was surprised by an uninvited member of the Centruroides Convention, who took fast action on the guitarist's picking hand!  The resulting sting produced "throbbing pain in the bones of the right arm. Numbness and prickling in the right arm. Small spots of intense pain on the wrist and arm. Numbness in all fingers and toes. Numbness in the lips and scalp. Feeling of gravel in the throat." Fortunately, he's well on the road to recovery, and fans can Now Be Thankful all April's tour dates have been rescheduled for the fall.

Enjoy a firsthand report from Thompson's own site.

Jump the flip for mishaps starring Johnny Cash, Fabio, Minnie Riperton, and Kazu from Blonde Redhead

Minnie Riperton v. the Lion or "they said that he wanted to play with me".  As Hatch reported on this very blog, while shooting the cover for her 1975 album Adventures in Paradise, the world's warmest singer was posed with a lion.  A feisty lion.  A feisty lion in a playful mood.  Guess what, he pounced.  Anyway, she's OK - and cameras were rolling, so you can bet she'll be screening some footage after giving the gory details to Sammy Davis Jr. and Richard Pryor!

As a total aside, you knew Maya Rudolph was her daughter, but holy crap, did you know Maya Rudolph was in The Rentals?!  Me neither.

Fabio v. Bird cameras rolled as a kamikaze... let's say goose chose Harlequin's most pliable piece of granite to kiss the world g'bye upon.  He sings, right?  He merits inclusion here.  Not much of a story, is it?  Nope.  Kinda zen though - worth contemplation.  The whole story is easily told in the pic and one sentence.  But that would leave a lot of very unseemly blank space on the blog.  Fuckin' limitations of the form, this wouldn't happen on TV, right?  Maybe I should've gone to them for some Fabio blurbage.  I know a guy named Fabio, actually, and shocker of shockers, he's also almost unbearably handsome -- OK, that oughtta do it.  moving on...

Johnny Cash v. Ostrich It's 1983 and Johnny steps out to check out the action at the zoo on his Tennessee ranch, when a resident ostrich expresses some disapproval of this move, with a swift kick to the gut!!  This attack is allegedly responsible for putting Johnny back on the sauce for a spell.  Read all about it.

Blonde Redhead v. The Horse singer / guitarist Kazu Makino was riding a horse in 2002.  She fell off, ending up underneath him so he stepped on my face and shattered my jaw", knocking her out of commission for nearly 2 years. Thus the onetime NYC darlings missed out while the spotlight was in town.  And yes, that's why all the damn horses all over their website.  (thanks BT!)

Can you think of more?  And can you think of any celebrity, musical or otherwise, who's actually been murdered by an animal, or is that just sick?  (Steve Irwin doesn't count, nor does anyone else who's famous because of animals)

UPDATE!

Cyndi Lauper v. another damn bird onstage in 2004, Cyndi Lauper was reaching for the climax of "Money Changes Everything", when an evil avian changed everything else with a different kind of deposit - right in the singer's wide open mouth!  Hack splat.  Thanks Gaylord!

Comments

[Kurt Gottschalk]

Susan Sarandon Recalls Dolphin Attack

Sarandon was nearly killed when she was attacked by a jealous female dolphin. In the 1970s the star was invited by writer Timothy Leary to interact with dolphins in a San Francisco, California, lab and she struck up a bond with a friendly dolphin called Joe. The Oscar-winning actress was enjoying holding onto Joe's fin when the mammal's jealous mate suddenly lunged, taking a chunk out of her wrist.

She tells PageSix.com, "After he trusted me more, I took hold of Joe's fin and we glided around the tank together. Then Joe stopped swimming horizontally and pushed up against me. I thought the whole experience was just groovy until I felt this horrible pain on my wrist, which was holding Joe's fin.

"I could hear them (researchers) shouting, 'No, Rosie! Don't!' I looked over and Joe's mate, this huge dolphin I hadn't even noticed before, was virtually standing up right out of the water, towering over me on its rear fins. She seemed to be 12 feet tall, emitting this loud, high-pitched noise. The attendants were screaming, 'We've got to get you out!' I was afraid I was going to get my other arm broken."

Later, researchers told Sarandon that Rosie's bite, which took months to heal, was a "warning nibble," and that "if she had made that plunge toward me, I would have been killed instantly as surely as if Rosie had been a shark.

"Apparently, an enraged, jealous dolphin is incredibly dangerous. What a way to die! Who would have believed it?"

http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2006/06/12/susan_sarndon_recalls_dolphin_attack

Paris Hilton's pet kinkajou, Baby Luv, bit Paris on the arm early Tuesday morning while the two were playing.

The wound was superficial and Paris spent a few hours at the hospital and received a tetanus shot.

[...]

In an odd bit of foreshadowing, an MTV special focused on Paris -- that aired the same day of the incident -- actually featured Baby Luv in a segment, during which the animal tried to bite her.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/10/when-animals-attack-paris/

Although history has unfairly described King Alexander [of Greece] as a careless pet owner who died from a bite "from his pet monkey", the 27-year-old monarch actually died after defending his pet dog from an attack during a walk through the Royal Gardens, and he suffered wounds from two of the monkeys. The attack occurred on 2 October 1920. In the report dispatched from Europe, it was stated that the King had been walking in the park with a pet dog, when the dog was attacked by a monkey. The King beat off the monkey with a stick but in the fight the monkey bit him on the hand slightly. "Another monkey rushed to the defense of his mate, and in beating it off, the King received another bite which severely lacerated a gland. The infection which set in following the bites gradually poisoned the King's entire system..." Both animals were found to have been diseased after they were destroyed. Within days, he developed a severe reaction to the infection, and after initial signs of improvement, became critically ill on 12 October.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_I_of_Greece

Plus there was that whole Siegfried and Roy thing, not to mention all the celebrities attacked by PETA...

[Dave the Spazz]

One time Bingo the Chimp bit Lou Costello and that was the reason why he was fired from the Abbott & Costello TV show.

When Johnny Cash was attacked by the ostrich if he would've shouted out the anagram of ostrich ("O Christ!") the ostrich would've turned to dust. There's no way to prove this. I just think that's the way it would've gone down.

[Gaylord Fields]

Leave us not forget the low-flying bird who dumped some avian waste product directly into Cyndi Lauper's agape mouth while she was singing at an outdoor concert a few years ago.

http://music.aol.com/photo-galleries/13-unluckiest-musicians-cyndi-lauper

[Scott]

Whoah Gaylord, that's what I'm talking about! I had no idea, thanks.

[John]

Whoah viewing this after I just saw Darryl Pandy singing "Animal Magnetism" on YouTube. What attacked his hair? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQQgenAINPE&feature=related