Hold on there fella
Unless you're growing sit down
I'll ask the questions
Oregano, man!
Need it for my pizza sauce
I'm a gourmet chef
Look at this rap sheet
Brought this punk in just last month
Resisting Arrest
Central Receiving
If you want a free ride there
Then keep on talking
It's my secret sauce
But you wouldn't understand
You're a bachelor, Joe
Joe ran out of butts
Went down to the laundromat
It wasn't worth it
Out of the city
Friday's got a windbreaker
Bill's got hay fever
Your travel agent
Just before he got busted
Sold you a hype kit
Jenny got too high
She wouldn't listen to me
That was her trouble
You hear about Joe?
He got an F in night school
Class voted him out
That pyramid scam
No such thing as free money
Bunco Forgery
I'm a policeman
It's an endless thankless job
That's got to get done
Just one bad apple
Or a cop with a bad rap
What's it gonna be?
What are you thinking?
Joe--what's the matter with you?
What about the duck?
Mind expansion slop
I deal with kids everyday
I'm the expert here
My name is Blue Boy
You're evil disbelievers
Now I'm over there
OK sober up
And try to listen to this
You're under arrest
Secret recipe
Peanut nut butter sandwich
Want a beer with that?
You're out of your mind
You think so? Well then listen
You got rights. You dig?
We all want lawyers
Well lemme tell ya something
You're gonna need 'em
Just tell me one thing
You're pretty high and far out
What kick are you on?
It's all up to you
Get the monkey off your back
What's it gonna be?
Wallpaper is out
Joe--don't you know anything?
You're just a bachelor
You Daniel Lumis?
I'm MISTER Daniel Lumis
Not Daniel Lumis
That's Benjie Carver
Chewing the bark off a tree
Intoxicated
Gannon's got the flu
But he's on an even keel
Some folks get cranky
The hot shot phone rang
It's a 4127
Suspect loud and drunk
Try to blow your mind
Flip out on an acid trip
Now you bought the farm
Trouble at the bank
The safe was blown wide open
Another soup job
Latent fingerprints
Everywhere so dust the room
Let's start over here
Some good cops out there
Officers Malloy and Reed
They get the job done
A Mutt and Jeff job
Armed with a two bit shotgun
We've got to stop them
Hands above your head
Or you'll be chasing your head
Down Fifth Avenue
Takes a while to live
It doesn't take long to die
I'm getting hinky
You're called everything
But never a policeman
Damned proud to be one
And that young lady
Get her a scotch and soda
Make her happy too
Where's your wallpaper?
Everyone has wallpaper!
Get with the times, Joe
You forgot one thing.
What is it Sergeant Friday?
It's against the law.
Posted by: Lex10 | September 03, 2008 at 10:48 AM
"Hinky." I have James Ellroy to thank for introducing me to that word. Not sure if its mention above means Joe Friday used it too, but considering both men share the LAPD as their obsession, I wouldn't be surprised.
Posted by: Listener James from Westwood | September 03, 2008 at 07:40 PM
Brilliant! You're my new hero!
Posted by: Eric B. | September 03, 2008 at 07:40 PM
Hah! I wrote a quick Dragnet [radio] episide in haiku:
This story is true.
Only the names have been changed
For their protection.
Sunday, July 5th.
I'm on robbery with Frank.
Then a call came in.
"Friday, Robbery.
"Please calm down, ma'am. Where are you?
We'll be right over."
"My name's Joe Friday.
Did you see what happened here?
Please, ma'am, just the facts."
"Hey, bud, where were you
when this robbery went down?"
"I was in Van Nuys."
"Hey, look at this, Joe."
"What's that, Frank? Some fingerprints?
Now we know who lied."
"I did nothing, cop!"
"Your fingerprints don't say so.
Come on, you. Let's go."
On July fifteeth
Trial held in LA court.
The sentence? Ten years.
Posted by: Aaron Gold | September 04, 2008 at 02:28 PM
I wrote a Charlton Heston haiku
Earth conquered by apes
the maniacs blew it up
damn them all to hell
Posted by: detroitsuperfly | September 05, 2008 at 04:47 PM
Pop culture triumphs
And the face of its avatar?
A chimp's silly grin
Posted by: Parq | September 05, 2008 at 08:04 PM