Yesterday I was buying lunch at Grand Central when I found a $20 bill on the floor. I picked it up, and as soon as I opened my wallet to put it away, a probably homeless man swooped down on me and asked if I could help him out. Should I have:
A. Said “Sorry,” and turned away.
B. Given him a dollar.
C. Given him two dollars.
D. Handed him the twenty.
Shoulda given him the twenty.
Posted by: nikkos | January 30, 2009 at 04:56 PM
Kept it and later donated it to a homeless shelter.
Posted by: Tommy | January 30, 2009 at 05:03 PM
Could does not imply an intention of will. Just saying.
Posted by: S. B. Prime | January 30, 2009 at 05:11 PM
Taken the twenty and bought him a 5th? I don't know.
Posted by: Rev. Hellbound Alleee | January 30, 2009 at 05:37 PM
bought some beer and drunk it in front of him, not offering any.
Posted by: ishcabittle | January 30, 2009 at 05:40 PM
Tempting as it is to see it as fate or something, I'd probably keep it.
Posted by: art | January 30, 2009 at 05:49 PM
taken out a lighter and burned the 20 in front of him.
Posted by: Brandon | January 30, 2009 at 05:53 PM
I would have told him he could earn the money the same way you did and then thrown the $20 on the ground.
Posted by: The_Cap'm | January 30, 2009 at 06:04 PM
Swooping is invasive. He could've swooped on the money, but instead he swooped on you. Finders Keepers!
Posted by: KrOB | January 30, 2009 at 06:24 PM
Pretend you lost it and then ask Congress for $800 billion.
Posted by: baby | January 30, 2009 at 06:31 PM
Ask him for a jig and one of those 'ole time tunes' .. record, release under some name like Uncle Swirlys Jungle Tit Folk Explosion.. sit back, watch the money flow.
Posted by: Frigidstar | January 30, 2009 at 07:04 PM
No, baby, you have to lose a couple hundred million before you can ask for billions in bailout money. That's the only way you can turn a profit. It's capitalism!
Posted by: Sean Daily | January 30, 2009 at 07:04 PM
Look for the grad students conducting their research on you....
Posted by: K | January 30, 2009 at 07:49 PM
Given him the $20 in exchange for flying lessons.
Posted by: rok | January 30, 2009 at 08:00 PM
Keep it and later donated it to your own damn self.
Posted by: Trip | January 30, 2009 at 08:07 PM
exact same thing has happened to me, and i must have run over all the outcomes in my head in those few seconds.. i had just picked up the $20 and then passed by an old homeless woman known for her mental problem and shoutiness. with all calm, clarity and honesty she asked if i had anything to spare, because she wanted to buy cigarettes. so i gave her a ten i already had in my pocket for lunch . that way, we both technically walked away with 10. i hadn't lost anything, but she gained 10. she lost composure and went back to her happy insanity, and then she thought i was her son. i fled.
Posted by: zom-bot | January 30, 2009 at 08:57 PM
My friend Crazy Richard has the best approach to pan handling. We were hanging outside a bar havin' a smoke when this obviously worn out homeless guy walks by. My friend immediately starts chasing him down saying "Hi, how are you? You look like a guy who could use some help. Here take a dollar. Why you on the street?" The guy took the buck and ran off scared down the street. It's reverse pan-handling.
So, you should have told the guy no then scoped out the nearest bum crouched over and freezing and slipped him a five. Or the whole twenty if your rich.
Posted by: D-Rock | January 30, 2009 at 09:38 PM
Never give money to someone begging for it. Give it to a charity organization.
Posted by: Dave | January 30, 2009 at 09:39 PM
i would have given him 20 and then rob him.
In case the rightfull owner returns i say i caught the thief and get a fat reward and be a local hero.
Posted by: hemaworstje | January 30, 2009 at 09:58 PM
You should have told him that he could have the 20 if you could slap him with a pie.
Thats what I'd do.
Posted by: doctor_gogol | January 31, 2009 at 01:19 AM
give him a 5 and tell him to sing his favorite song.
Posted by: noizeDemon | January 31, 2009 at 07:03 AM
i would have given him the 20 and been glad for the good karma
Posted by: markb | January 31, 2009 at 07:55 AM
Karma is a load of beans. You should've eaten the twenty, without skipping a beat. As for donating the money to charity, they're no better than beggars on the street. Give it to Ivan Stang instead, or buy yourself one of those fancy cellphone earbud microphones. Only $15 on Amazon.
Posted by: Clayton | January 31, 2009 at 09:12 AM
You should have done the only thing you didn't list: taken it to Lost & Found (at least that's what Randy Cohen would tell you).
I once got a twenty dolar bill in change from a cab driver. It was night and dark and I just shoved it in my pocket. Later when I went to put it in my wallet I noticed it was slightly smaller than all the other bills. Yeah, counterfeit, and I didn't get a taxi receipt so I was stuck. What to do with it? Next day I got some Chinese food and passed it on. I figured it had been legal tender up to that point and why should I get screwed over? It was the wrong thing to do and I regret that someone along the food chain ended up out twenty dollars. Admittedly, if it happened again I don't know what I'd do.
Posted by: Dale | January 31, 2009 at 09:31 AM
Keep the twenty but lead the person DIRECTLY to a RESTAURANT
Posted by: Jonathan Steinke | January 31, 2009 at 12:39 PM