Here are both sides of a grimly disturbing 45 made by Dexter Gardner, a deeply troubled teenaged (and self-identified) LSD addict from Kearns, Utah, a suburb of Salt Lake City.
As the record label indicates, the audio was "reproduced from (a) tape recorded message just before death by suicide." The original recording concludes with the sound of the gunshot that ended Gardner's life, but the version that appears on this record is a bit more genteel; the sound of the gunshot was removed.
The 45, released on Atlanta's Broadcasting For Jesus record label, is entirely spoken word. Side One features the first part of Gardner's rambling farewell. Over on Side Two, we hear the conclusion of his message, followed by a short piece by NBC news reporter Bill Ryan. Ryan's report includes the information that Gardner's parents chose to have the recording played at their son's funeral in the hopes that some of his friends would be persuaded not to board the drug train.
Sorry about the extreme scratchiness of this record. No doubt the recording had lousy fidelity to begin with and this particular copy sounds as thought it must have been passed around and mishandled with great frequency before it wound up in my hands. In a fascinating side note, I learned that this very recording is available as a cassette tape from the National Child Safety Council, as part of their drug abuse prevention program. The colorful artwork nearby comes from the cassette's j-card.
Dexter Gardner - Last Testimony Of A Teen Age Dope Addict - Part One (6:33)
Dexter Gardner - Last Testimony Of A Teen Age Dope Addict - Part Two (6:41)
Though he was not connected with this project in any way, I have a feeling Jack Webb would approve.
aah! marvelous... & the pops/scratches improve the whole thing greatly.
Posted by: BSI | January 28, 2009 at 09:36 AM
This sounds vaguely phony to me.(no offense intended, btw) "Addicted" to LSD (!?!).
The choice of words sounds like square trying for hip, like a "Promise Keepers" anecdote.
Posted by: Jeffersonic | January 28, 2009 at 11:36 AM
Jeffersonic..... No offense taken. You're right, it could be a hoax.
But if I were laying down money, I'd bet it's real. Of course, I am not 100% certain of this and I might end up with a lighter wallet, but I think it's unlikely that respected NBC newsman Bill Ryan (he spent 26 years with the network) would have participated if this was merely a fictional "scared straight" type of scenario. His voice is all over Part Two and he identifies himself there in the recording's final seconds. Compare his voice on the recording to the youtube clip linked below, when he was anchoring the news of the JFK assassination from the network's NY headquarters. Definitely the same guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNGBBJm7eTo
And as for the comment where Dexter Gardner refers to himself as an "LSD addict" that doesn't seem far fetched. He was a teenager with no medical training and would've been unlikely, I think, to have a firm grasp on the clinical definition of addicted.
Posted by: Listener Greg G. | January 28, 2009 at 12:09 PM
Nice find, Greg. I agree, the recording is quite possibly real. A careful listen tells you most of what you need to know about why the boy killed himself. As he correctly points out, taking powerful psychedelics without a guide when you have a lot of unresolved problems is a bad idea. He clearly doesn't want to face those problems, even in his last testimony, and he's trying to (eternally) punish himself. The LSD thing just made everyone feel better and gave a easy excuse for whatever nasty happenings precipitated his suicide. Had he elaborated on those problems, we would never had heard this tape.
Posted by: K | January 28, 2009 at 12:52 PM
Hey Greg and K: The "Jack Webb" school of Acid knowledge warns that after 1 trip a user is then worthless to society, (flashback unreliability) and might as well be dead. In all my (modest) travels, I've never personally experienced, nor have I encountered anyone who experienced a "flashback", (which I am interpreting to mean a sudden, intense return to trip) and I've known
many people who tripped regularly. What are your opinions on flashbacks?
Posted by: Jeffersonic | January 29, 2009 at 12:01 AM
Flashbacks? Their existence has always seemed pretty far-fetched to me, though I've done no research (academic or real world) on the topic.
Some stand up comic (Gallagher? Robin Williams?) used to joke that flashbacks are positive and would actually bolster sales of the drug if they were real.
Posted by: Listener Greg G. | January 29, 2009 at 09:15 AM
well, historically, if you begin to experience those perceptions and thoughts without the use of a psychedelic, that would be called Kensho. If those perceptions persist for a lasting period, that is called Satori. I would tend to agree with Jack Webb, that the Satori state is unconducive to the functioning of Western society. It's awfully hard to fill out those TPS cover sheets when your managers face is melting into the faces of everyone you have ever known and you realize that the enternal chain of being extends from the first organic molecules through several million years of evolution all the way to the stranger staring back at you.
Posted by: K | January 29, 2009 at 12:56 PM
Drug frauds have taken in lots of reputable folks. This reminds me quite a bit of "Go Ask Alice" and some of the other anti-drug hoaxes from the era:
http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/askalice.asp
Posted by: ethereal p.r. | January 29, 2009 at 03:25 PM
wow thanks this one is even weirder than that record that i have "the testimony of joe lee kirkpatrick" which is a great record...
Posted by: Madrotter | January 30, 2009 at 05:34 AM
It seems that it's the same recordings already issued in 1971. The name on the sleeve is Craig, not Dexter, Gardner. See http://thatsallritemama.blogspot.com/2008/12/craig.html
Posted by: T. Rebentine | February 04, 2009 at 12:47 PM
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,905553,00.html
Seems to be real and the kid's name was Craig according to this 1971 Time article.
Posted by: Howdy Dodad | February 12, 2009 at 02:54 PM
The story of this mp3 is so tragic and we should learn from it.
Posted by: wow gold | March 23, 2009 at 08:54 AM
Make no mistake, this is real. I heard this on television and radio as a kid growing up in South Florida in the late 60s and early 70s. I've never forgotten it, especially the end where he said "this is Dexter Gardner, signing off". It was played a lot when it first happended.
Posted by: Chris Qualmann | July 12, 2009 at 12:14 AM
The drug doesn't work! that's why it's working on this music.
Posted by: teen alcohol treatment | January 20, 2010 at 06:46 PM