Buy Your Own Damn Fries

I have yet to read Barack Obama's "Dreams of My Father", though it is definitely on my list. So, little did I know that the book is filled with some great street-style dialogue, mostly courtesy of Obama's high school friend Ray. And then there is the audio book, read by the author himself. High praise goes this week to The Boston Phoenix for isolating the cursing from the audio book and making mp3 files, which we now share with you here:

"There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you."
"You ain't my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!"
"This shit's getting way too complicated for me."
"You know that guy ain't shit. Sorry-ass motherfucker got nothing on me."
"Sure you can have my number, baby!"
"Blam!"

Perhaps some audio master could put these to good use. A remix is in order, or perhaps a Christian Bale mash-up (though I must admit to being tired of that rant already). Or best of all, how about reordering the whole book into a speech for the Republicans in congress that will make them stand up, pay attention, and realize that they aren't gonna fix this muthafuckin' economy with more muthafuckin' tax breaks, muthafuckers! Though, now that I think about it, that first line alone could be the whole speech.

Perhaps the President's stimulus plan is too much for politicians to grapple with. Who has the time to read the details about all those programs? It's better to just start clipping away at any socially responsible initiative that is, you know, frivolous - by which I mean, any that doesn't help big business, the real victims of the recent economic free-fall. My favorite stimulus plans so far are much more simple: forgive student loan debt, and give money directly to consumers to pay off their credit cards.

Comments

[Michael]

Brilliant!

[MrD]

You are missing a couple:

Fuckin' Eskimo
Bullshit parties

[jonny]

made my day. err life

[steve]

I get the feeling he's been saying "This shit's getting way too complicated for me" a lot lately now that he's president and sees how screwed up an complicated the world really is. Stones are so easy to throw from the outside.....

[Mindwrecker]

As someone who has used way too many Reagan and Bush (either) samples in my life, this comes as the answer to a dirty secret wish I had recently. Gosh,I knew I should have been taping some of his recent vocals. There are a bunch of people that are going to get very naughty with this stuff now.

[Eric]

As a matter of fact, in the months leading up to the election, some enterprising internet denizens put together a Flash soundboard mixing these with various salutations.

Apparently, a number of people used it to prank call various local Obama offices as "Obama," essentially launching into what became - with various phrases completely isolated from context - racist diatribes.

Someone on YouTube also spliced his voice together into George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.

[obama]

http://www.metafilter.com/78930/POTUS-profanity

icludes links to youtube, prank calls, obama soundboards, etc.

[Will Stephens]

Ha! I'll have to see if I can incorporate some of this into my show!

--DJ Will
http://www.4MostSound.com
Philadelphia Wedding DJ

[Bill W]

There wouldn't be a "Civil liberties? Fuck that!" clip, would there?

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/02/obama-administr.html

[plunderpunk]

we sounds white, quite white

[Mnkyspz]

Who cares I say that shit all the time!

[bob fnord]

I've already made a station ID out of one.....

http://216.67.98.53/KWMD%20ID%20021309%2001.mp3

[Rory Murray]

Now if he would only pimp out Pelosi, we can balance the budget.

[Jimmy John]

It's good. But ya can't touch GWB for the volume of stupid shit:

http://www.dubyaspeak.com/

[KEITH30Meagan]

Make your own life time easier take the home loans and everything you require.