WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Valentine's Day (1965)

Valentine's Day was a highly sophisticated sitcom for its time about two swinging playboy roommates played by Tony Franciosa and Jack Soo. Valentine's Day was a far more mature sitcom than the rest that aired during the 1964-65 season. First of all, the whole crux of the show involved two single dudes spending each episode trying to get laid. Secondly, it was simply more advanced with Jack Soo just playing an American playboy and not a specifically Asian character who was the butt of countless Asian jokes and references. I have no idea why this sitcom has been left in the ditch of forgotten television. It stars Jack Soo for godsake!

Poetry Corner With Vinnie P

"I have sought to enlist the harmony of metrical language, the ethereal combinations of the fancy, the rapid and subtle transitions of human passion, all those elements which essentially compose a Poem, in the cause of a liberal and comprehensive morality..."       - Shelly

With romance in mind and in the air, let us break bread, pour some wine, and listen to some readings of Percy Bysshe Shelly, as performed by Vincent Price on the Caedmon lp TC 1059, Poems of Shelly.

Here is the front cover, and a bonus picture of Vinnie P, for  this St. Valentine's Day evening.

The MP3's :   Music, When Soft Voices Die      

With a Guitar, To Jane      Hymn to an Intellectual Beauty

Where Do I Begin?

This week I bought three bulbs of organic garlic from my local supermarket.

I can see you shaking your heads and looking puzzled: "Isn't this supposed to be a blog about growing your own? Why just last week, didn't she swear off supermarkets forever? Is she back in the grip of Satan again? Did I miss the memo?"

Yes. Yes. No. And... er.. no.

Between then and now you would have found me prone under a full hundred-weight of seed catalogues. I hadn't slept in about three days. My family lodged a missing person's complaint. Somewhere underneath all those full colour, glossy pages of dreams, you'd have heard me muttering "hollyhocks" and "carrots" over again and making little spring frog noises.

The planning stage had begun.

Friday the 13th Part XI: Jason Vs...Arsenio? (video)

Yesterday was an even darker day in America than the day the pilot episode of "W*A*L*T*E*R" got pre-empted by the '84 Democratic National Convention.  Uh huh, the "Friday the 13th" remake.  (On the flip side it was Arsenio Hall's 54th birthday, too, so yay for relevance!)  I wish to usher in this auspicious event the only way I feel it can be properly ushered: laughably and comically.  On July 28, 1989, Arsenio sat down with Kane Hod...oops, Jason on his late night talk show for world television's first intimate and personal glimpse into Camp Crystal Lake's own machete-lunging, serial-disemboweling, "how-in-thee-hell-did-he-just-do-that?"-superliminal-time-space-continuum-accelerating son of a BITCH:

You could've cut the silence in that interview with a...never mind.

The clawhammer genius of Al Tharp

You know how it is when you go see this band that you're sort of interested in, but maybe not really sure, and then they turn out to be surprisingly amazing and afterward you end up buying everything you can get your hands on by them and becoming a total fanatic? Then you're kicking yourself for not having been hip to them before you had the chance to see them live or maybe even hang out with them and have some kind of cool adventure? That's kind of how I feel about the banjo workshop I attended a few years ago when New Orleans roots musician Al Tharp came to town. I had just been learning clawhammer style for less than a couple of months when my teacher suggested I go. Before I go any further here's a clip of Al:

In case you're wondering, clawhammer banjo is the style where the player strikes downward on the string with the edge of his nail (as opposed to an upward pluck) and is really a very old style of playing that goes all the way back to Africa and reveals the instrument's origins on that continent. It's very, very different than the more well known bluegrass banjo sound known as Scruggs style where the strings are plucked with metal fingerpicks. Al Tharp is truly a clawhammer master and, more importantly, has just about the most original take on this sound that I have ever heard. He did spend time deep in the Appalachians, learning first-hand from masters like Tommy Jarrell and Lee Hammons but I think one of the things that really helps make his style as ridiculously funky as it is, is the fact that he has now lived in New Orleans for some time and has thoroughly absorbed the deep roots of the region. He takes Cajun fiddle moves and mixes them with the second line and out comes something that no one else does. Here's Al playing the old-time standard  "John Henry." (MP3) I think his thumb has a lot to do with it-the way he just pops it so hard and relentlessly, as well has his smooth, four-on-the-floor footstomps which almost sound like a techno bass drum. Speaking of which, a bit of Al's playing found it's way into part two of Buck 65's magnum opus, internet giveaway "Dirtbike."   "Square Dance" (MP3) By the way, faithful followers of the WFMU blog might recognize the voice heard at the end of the track... Basically, ever since I went to Al's workshop I've been trying really hard to catch some of that sound-with varying degrees of success. I sure wish I had another chance to sit down and get some first-hand pointers but at least I have my recording of the workshop that a fellow attendee slipped me. Hope you dig hearing this very funky man. Here's one more taste:"Boatin Up Sandy." (MP3) Enjoy!

So Cal Bubblegum Hippies Relaxing Way Too Hard (videos)

Being recently unemployed is pretty relaxing, I must admit.  But I'm nowhere near as carefree as child star Jack Wild (top left) seemed to be.  Jack Wild is best known as the downtrodden yet sweethearted Oliver in Lionel Bart's musical of the same name.  But Wild definitely embraced that not-so-sweethearted Hollywood teen idol status.  He released three studio albums and, as this video evidences, enjoyed the company of women who are like 3 feet taller than him!  He actually ended up getting messed up on alcohol pretty early in life.  Regardless, great intro, great song, great plot, great accent, just great.  The Gentry's very, very bubblegum "Spread it On Thick" is top right.  Again, just great.  Not only for the quintessentially bubblegum use of double entendre and for drilling the phrase "you the man" into the ground, but also for featuring a man in a very large sombrero.  The clip, you might be able to tell, is taken from a movie - it's the 1967 teen beach party exploitation flick "It's a Bikini World".  Many infos about the film here and another awesome in-film performance by the Castaways here.

OK, so he's not from Southern California, but you can see why this Michael Holm video at bottom left is appropriate.  I don't speak German, but I think perhaps he's saying "dancing and dancing...kissing and kissing"?  Oh dear.  Perhaps you are saying to yourself, "The Mixtures, featured on the bottom right, are maybe relaxing too much, as this song sounds suspiciously like Mungo Jerry."  This is no coincidence, my friend.  "The Pushbike Song" was in a fact a followup to The Mixtures' cover of Mungo Jerry's "In The Summertime".  Since Australian radio was banning British songs from the airwaves at this point in 1970, The Mixtures were able to piggyback their way twice to number one on the Australian charts.  Sadly, the creative well soon ran dry and the Mixtures' next single peaked at #43.  At any rate, two bubblegum videos in bathing suits and two on bikes - how can you beat it?

Song-poem Archived Music, Volume 1

One of my favorite websites of all time was the American Song-Poem Music Archive.  Back in 2004, all the song-poem mp3s from the ASPMA site mysteriously disappeared.  However, I've managed to collect all the tunes from the site and squirreled them away into my collection on randomly-sequenced audio CDs.  I always wanted to make them available again and thanks to Otis Fodder and the WFMU team, I now have a means of doing so.

I humbly present the Song-Poem Archived Music series - I have at least nine volumes planned for re-release and I will be posting one each month.  All tracks have been fixed up (I hesitate to say remastered) and re-encoded at a higher bitrate for maximum enjoyment.  Any audio quality problems are with the original files, and this is the best they can be.

And of course, a huge thank you to Phil Milstein, who hosted these files in the first place.  And from his original mp3 page he also thanks "MP3 contributors: John Fitzpatrick, Brian Linds, Tom Ardolino, Jeff Miller, Jeremy Pisani, Michael Greenberg, Will Louviere, Barbara Economon, Pea Hicks, John Trubee, Robert Dayton, Chuck Foster, Jim Blanchard, Bob Purse, Narkspud, Marc Smith and Gregg Turkington."

Volume 1: It's Not The World, It's What's In The World  (download full artwork zip)

1. Joe Stanton - A Has-Been

2. The Tune-Timers - Mental Letter

3. Sonny Marshall - South Bend, Indiana

4. Jim Wheeler & The Swinging Strings - Go-Go Girl

5. unknown - It's Not The World, It's What's In The World

6. unknown - Temptations and Desires

7. unknown - Pinch Me

8. unknown - Daddy Don't You Love Us Anymore

9. unknown - The Birth Of Spring

10. unknown - Jesus The King Of the Jews

11. unknown - My Glory Ladder

12. unknown - The King

13. Karen Kimberly and Big Action Sound - Heart Break Of Love

14. Dick Kent - Pucker Up

15. Dick Kent - On Blackness

16. Bobbi Blake - Shadrach, Meshcak and Abednego

17. Dick Kent - Mind Of Mine

18. Bobbi Blake - Too Many Babies

19. Bobbi Blake - The Yo-Yo

20. Bill Joy - Livin' In Sin

21. Rodd Keith - Run Spook Run

22. Rodd Keith - The Watchin' Man

23. Milford Perkins - The Vacant House

24. Rodd Keith - Don't Look Back, Babe

25. Gene Marshall - This World Was Planned

26. Gene Marshall - Doing The Wagon-Na-Gal

27. Gene Marshall - Crazy House Twist

28. Gene Marshall - Love Can Strike You

29. Norman Burns - Blue Atoms

30. Gary Roberts & The Satellites - You Need Time

31. Gary Roberts - What I Am, You Know

32. Mary Kaye - I Don't Want A Bracelet or Diamonds

Hey-ho, Moto (MP3)

A Musical Adventure in Stereo Hi-Fi (10:02)

It's been a while since I shared a stereo demo. This one's a little different, because it was intended for home use. Everyone who bought a Motorola 3 Amplifier Stereo High Fidelity player in the 1950s would find one of these 10-inch treasures tucked into the box, much like that copy of Combat that came with the Atari 2600.

Along with narration pointing out the many virtues of Motorola's proprietary technology, we get instrumental versions of "I'm in the Mood for Love," "South Rampart Street Parade," "Misirlou," "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps," and "El Relicario." The tracks are arranged as a muscial trip around the world, with stops in New Orleans, the Far East, and Mexico.

We only get excerpts from the songs, which is a shame, because there's excellent stereo separation on each of them, particularly "I'm in the Mood for Love," which opens with bongos spread to the left and right channels. These tracks are uncredited, although the sleeve points out that all are sourced from Command and Grand Award records. You'll still find some great breaks here, and there's a minimum of pops, which is rare for an album this old.

I discovered this record at the MIT Swapfest, which takes place on the third Sunday of each month from April to October. If you're in the Cambridge area when this thing's going down, it's a must-visit, especially if you need antique electronics or unusual scientific equipment.

Mining the Audio Motherlode, Vol. 3 (MP3s)

Give the Drummer Some's
10 Favorite Downloads from the MP3 Blogosphere
(see Comments, below, for helpful info about downloading)

This column is meant to serve as a roadmap to blogs offering album downloads. Feel free to kick back and let me do the driving. Or, if you're feeling fresh, grab the wheel: Extra hunting and gathering once you get to the blogs suggested below will lead to hours of thrilling musical discovery (along with a seriously stunted social life).

Simply outrageous sounds await your careful attention this week. Highlights include 1920s medicine-show gobsmackers by the legendary Emmett Miller, earnest Dutch bluesadelica from the Subterraneans, and a crackling session of outside/in French jazz from Jef Gilson and a surprisingly frisky Jean-Luc Ponty (who I'd never before been able to stomache).




Brazilian Afrofunk recorded in Italy
Ezy & Isaac  ~  "Soul Rock"
(Blog: Djalma's Soul Food)
[To find the download link, look for the text "Don't sleep on this one! and click on the word "this."]




Shocking trove of rarities from the C&W/Jazz/Blues/Pop Godhead
Emmett Miller collection: Batch 1 and Batch 2
(Blog: Western Swing on 78)





 
Dutch Folk/Bluesters Get Their Ya-Yas Out
The Subterraneans  ~  "Down to Earth"
(Blog: Cities on Flame With Rock and Roll  >> Look in comments for "New Link" via Rapidshare.de)
From the album: Psycho-Brainwashing Bues
[Read my previous post on the late, great blogger who posted this]

I Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself (MP3s)

One of my favorite aspects of the world of country music is, or maybe I should say was, the willingness of so many of its artists to plunge headfirst into unflinching explorations of the dark side of life. 

Hearing the horrific woes of someone else always goes a long way toward helping you put your own troubles into perspective.  I have no doubt that this simple fact is one reason there are so many breathtakingly depressing country songs to begin with.

So with that in mind, here are 9 suicide-themed songs selected to help make my  point.  Unlike the recent Beware Of The Blog post that examined an LSD-related suicide recording, all the suicidal feelings here are the result of romantic woes.  This may or may not be worth keeping in mind as Valentine's Day rolls around this weekend.

Buddy Knox  -  I Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself  (2:03)

Louis Innis  -  Suicide  (2:22)

Bobby Leeds  -  Suicide  (1:57)

Ron McCleod  -  Suicide  (2:20)

Don Bailey  -  Fourteen Stories Down  (2:53)

Hugh Porter  -  Twenty Stories Down  (2:06)

Don Owens  -  Cold Dark Waters Below  (2:30) 

Jim Cooper  -  Note Of Suicide  (2:25)

Leon Hobson  -  She Thinks I'm Gonna Jump  (2:26)

Old is the New Black

The entire crew of that US Airways plane that ditched safely in the Hudson River is over 50 years old. Stump, the Sussex Spaniel who won Best in Show at Westminster is 10. And WFMU's own Station Manager Ken is having a big zero-ending birthday today. To celebrate, we're going to dress him up in a pilot's uniform and enter him in a dog show.

It's Why We Say Gesundheit

I am minding my own business, sitting at Gate 62 in LAX ready to fly back to the east coast. In the morning, I will hit the ground running, as I'm going to be hosting Cheetah Chrome with very special guests The Blackhearts on my program the next day on very little sleep. My mind is jammed with my "to-do" list; my hopes of catching some shuteye on the plane, what records I need to pull and notes I need for my program, what the weather will be like when I get back --and other annoyances. THEN I become absolutely, and completely 100% present to what I see walking past me at Gate 62...

Kari, What's The Time? (mp3s)

Years ago I was at the deli counter at supermarket getting some roast beef.  Some youth walked up to the counter and the following conversation ensued between the counter man and said youth

Youth:  Hey.  What time is it?
Counter Man:  'S quarter of 5.
Youth:  Huh?
Counter Man:  It's quarter of five.
Youth:  What time is it?
Counter Man:  It's quarter of five!
Youth:  What the hell are you saying?  I want to know what time it is!
Counter Man:  It's quarter of five!  Look at the clock?  See?  4:45.  Quarter of five.
Youth:  If it's 4:45 why didn't you just SAY it was 4:45?  Jesus

(Youth stalks off)

Counter Man:  (to me) Goddamn kids can't tell time without a digital clock anymore.

And it's true, for the most part.  I'm not a survivalist (not that there's anything wrong with that) but knowing your way around an analog clock is useful skill to have should the electrical grid get wiped out due terrorism or, as in the case of Arkansas and Kentucky, a snowstorm in January.  I've taught my kids analog time just as I'll teach them to drive a standard.

I don't remember when I learned to tell time.  Perhaps, like with sex, my parents just gave me a book or a record like How To Tell Time.

As I write this, I'm realizing that because of CDs my kids never had these adorable how-to records.  If it wasn't 70 minutes long and cost $16.99 then the hell with it. As I think about it further, the whole "this culture has gone ADHD and can't focus for more than a few minutes" argument falls flat on its face when you stop to consider the lowly 45 that, by nature of the medium, had a short, fixed time.

Be that as it may, let's go back to a simpler time when telling time was as easy as telling time!

Kari - How To Tell Time Side 1

Kari - How To Tell Time Side 2 

SXSW 09: WFMU vs. AQUARIUS RECORDS and a Texas-Sized Pile of Live Acts

(Pictured: the line for last year's Bruno Wizard backstage meet-and-greet) We had a total blast last March putting on and broadcasting our first ever bill at the SXSW Festival in Austin, Texas. We got to host bands we loved, meet FMU listeners from all over the USA and beyond, and even Ice Cube and Bushwick Bill showed up in the crowd to watch some of the sets! Needless to say, the ante is now officially upped because we're going to co-curate 2009 with our good pals from Aquarius Records in San Francisco!  AQ is truly one of thee best shops on the planet for music lovers, and a constant inspiration for our own unearthing of new sounds, it goes without saying we're psyched for the happy match. So, we (FMUers Liz, Brian, Trent, and Diane, plus AQers Andee and Allan) will be anxious to see you all on Friday night, March 20th at Spiro's (611 Red River); but if you aren't down in Texas you can tune in live to WFMU that night! We're mixing up our bands over two stages with a bunch of broadcasted sets. Attendees will have their chance to check out live sets from these awesome acts whom we are quite thrilled to have accepted our invitations to play:

The Obits (Brooklyn NY, w/ex-Hot Snakes singer/guitarist Rick Froberg, new LP due on Sub Pop)

Woven Hand (solo project of Sixteen Horsepower's David Eugene Edwards)

The Renderers (New Zealand combo's first USA shows in 11 years)

Major Stars (Cambridge, Mass. psych meltdown, rare non-Northeast USA appearance)

Slough Feg (epic, post-Maiden sounding SF metal giants)

Gunslingers (burnin' psychedelic punk from France, first USA tour)

Absu (total Texas black metal destruction)

Ovens (shredding, hook-jammed pop blasts from SF)

Mayyors (Chrome/Brainbombs-style Sacramento killers)

XYX (hooky punked-out nuevo lo-fi from Monterrey, Mexico)

Wildildlife (heavy Seattle weirdness at the altar of Hawkwind/Sabbath/Buttholes)

Belong (dense, layered walls of dreamy guitar ambience for a late night finale): UPDATE: Belong unfortunately had to back out of the show, but we're happy to have in their place Elm, which is the drone/dark/doomy sideproject of John from Barn Owl.

Prizehog (glacial, weird, heaviness from the SF underground)

Gary War (freaked-out warbley TASCAM psych-wave even better live with members of Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti and Bobb Trimble's band)

Set times TBA, and we'll be posting some sounds to the blog soon. To check out what you missed last year, here's some video clips, some MP3s from sets by Citay, the Homosexuals, Harvey Milk, the Bad Trips, Half Japanese MP3 (and video)  Hank IV (video) and MP3, Carla Bozulich/Evangelista (video), and MP3. We still have some cool posters from 2008 for sale as well in the store. More to come!

The Poodle Wins the Group

Again.
Gosh-darned Poodle.

What's On My Portable mp3 Player? - All Black Metal Edition

More and more, Black Metal (and its many assorted sub-sub-genres) pushes my other musical interests out to the periphery—aggressive little fucker that it is.  As I get older, I get narrower, rather than more open-minded; you figure out what you like and you roll with it, I guess.  Will I be the oldest, grayest, most-droopy-eyed geezer at the Metal show?  Maybe.  Probably.  Still, a good, brisk run in the freezing cold, listening to Bone Awl, can be pretty life affirming.

Bone Awl/Meaningless Leaning Mess - Black Metal meets The Hospitals in your cluttered garage.  Every song is a short, deconstructivist burst of distorted Black-a-billy.  These Californians will most likely not be touring with slicked-up acts like Blut Aus Nord any time soon.  One guitar (He Who Gnashes Teeth) and one drummer (He Who Crushes Teeth) are all you need.  If you've heard one Bone Awl record, you've heard them all, though this one is particularly good.
Without Hesitation
Show Me

Paysage d'Hiver/Paysage d'Hiver - Paysage d'Hiver means Landscape of Winter, and it's the perfect soundtrack for this decrepit time of year.  Though this Swiss mystery man declined my offer of a blog interview, I'll still praise the work, as it's incredibly layered and artfully done (especially considering its home-studio fidelity.)  Dense atmospheres that range from pure blast-beat Black (though the drums could be cardboard boxes and couch cushions) to ambient scapes worthy of the Klaus Schulze "Berlin school."  Every Pd'H record (or "Demo" as per their page on Metal Archives) is an epic, and many are packaged as A5 digibooks with grim b&w artwork, sealed in black envelopes with black-on-black Gothic titles printed on the outside—the ultimate Black Metal fetish item.  Some titles available in the US from Aquarius and Mercenary Musik.
Welt aus Eis

Defuntos/A Negra Vastidão das Nossas Almas - This doomy Portuguese band sound like a two-man Beefheart's Magic Band at 16RPM, and The Captain, he's been squashed down to the size of an angry troll.  They must have recorded this bleak, scrappy record in a moldy concrete basement.
O Silêncio Das Cigarras, Um Adeus Distante

Corrupted/Vasana - Not a Black Metal band, but I snuck them in anyway, 'cause I'm such a rule breaker.  This ferocious Japanese outfit have been making monumental Doom sludge since 1994, and they just seem to get better and better.  Corrupted have a true sense of build and anticipation in their work, such that when the "hit" finally does come, it's devastating.  Many of their best pieces last the length of an entire CD; this shorter track is from a recent vinyl EP.
Vasana, Part 1

Krallice/Krallice - This adept NY quartet present a fresh take on the melodic, old-school, art-Black of bands like Emperor and Ulver, throwing in a little thrash as well.  Krallice also have plenty of intricate guitar squeedle for Dethklok fans and readers of guitar tech magazines.  Destined for greatness.
Timehusk

Mordheim/Depressive Tears ov Dementia - Similar in sound to Defuntos, but even bleaker and more twisted.  The singer makes a wail like he's throwing up at the beginning of almost every song.  It sounds as if the guitarist/singer dragged a drunk in off the street to play drums.  I knew I was going to love this record when I saw the cover:  a pencil-and-ink drawing of an imprisoned man with his face in the cell toilet.  Can't miss.
L'agonie du Dément

Sing Along with the Henrys (MP3)

I recently had a listen to a reel to reel tape that was one of a stack of tapes I bought a few months ago. The only writing on the box was the words "Junk Recording" on the back of the box. Largely, I would agree with this summary: the tape contained some brief home recordings apparently made on or around Christmas, a few professionally recorded Christmas carols, and, for the last 2/3rds of the reel, a remarkably badly recorded children's birthday party (much of which appears to have been recorded by microphones placed in a different room than the one where the party was being held).

I was, however, glad to have taken the time to listen, because buried between all of the above was a segment of just a few minutes, in which three siblings (dominated by one), and egged on by their father, sing a camp song most kids knew (in those days), followed by a few recent hit songs (entirely Beatles' songs) and tunes from Hollywood musicals with which they were familiar.

Unfortunately, for the first portion of this recording, the child who is taking the lead is either too close to the microphone, or the record level is too high, because there is quite a bit of distortion, especially during the camp song. If nothing else, this recording is worth it to hear (about halfway through) the misheard lyrics to "Norwegian Wood", and the replacing of the edgy lyric (well, edgy for pop radio in early 1966, anyway) "It's Time For Bed", all of which are sung by our lead performer.

For top 40 radio fans, there are two brief bursts of WLS heard near the end of this segment, including one of the longer jingles which used to be common.

The names of these children, and even their home address (on the Northwest Side of Chicago) is present on the original tape, but I've edited those moments (as well as a few moments of tedium) out of this version of the tape.

The Henry Kids on 2-3-66 (MP3)

This Is A Taco

A second freakshow video from the Bran Flakes, "Do You Want Salad With Your Taco?," in advance of their forthcoming Illegal Art CD, I Have Hands. Animation by Susan DeLint. The Flakes CD drops Feb. 24.

In an unrelated matter, This Is A Song, helpfully diagrammed by Mitch Friedman.

And you may be intrigued to know that decades before Songsmith, aspiring composers used the now all-but-forgotten Harrington 1200.

Yo La Tengo, Taking Your Requests on March 13th

Ira, Georgia, James, and their pal Bruce are back again for WFMU's fundraiser! This year Yo La Tengo will plug into Pseu Braun's show on Friday, March 13th from 8-11PM as she and Gaylord Fields guide your pledges and live cover song requests; your duty is to pledge to WFMU's marathon during the course of the three hour program to get the band to perform your song! Any song! And don't forget to mark your calendars in general, WFMU fires up its Marathon furnaces from Monday, March 2nd until Sunday, March 15th to keep this ship sailing another year.

Buy Your Own Damn Fries

I have yet to read Barack Obama's "Dreams of My Father", though it is definitely on my list. So, little did I know that the book is filled with some great street-style dialogue, mostly courtesy of Obama's high school friend Ray. And then there is the audio book, read by the author himself. High praise goes this week to The Boston Phoenix for isolating the cursing from the audio book and making mp3 files, which we now share with you here:

"There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you."
"You ain't my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!"
"This shit's getting way too complicated for me."
"You know that guy ain't shit. Sorry-ass motherfucker got nothing on me."
"Sure you can have my number, baby!"
"Blam!"

Perhaps some audio master could put these to good use. A remix is in order, or perhaps a Christian Bale mash-up (though I must admit to being tired of that rant already). Or best of all, how about reordering the whole book into a speech for the Republicans in congress that will make them stand up, pay attention, and realize that they aren't gonna fix this muthafuckin' economy with more muthafuckin' tax breaks, muthafuckers! Though, now that I think about it, that first line alone could be the whole speech.

Perhaps the President's stimulus plan is too much for politicians to grapple with. Who has the time to read the details about all those programs? It's better to just start clipping away at any socially responsible initiative that is, you know, frivolous - by which I mean, any that doesn't help big business, the real victims of the recent economic free-fall. My favorite stimulus plans so far are much more simple: forgive student loan debt, and give money directly to consumers to pay off their credit cards.