More Dragnet Haikus

Wednesday June Fifteenth
The boss is Cap'n Hugh Brown
Partner's Bill Gannon

Twelve dollars a month
Goes to widows and orphans
That's what the job's worth

Hand me my timer
Yes Joe, that's an egg timer
Now hand it to me

A kid with a knife
Or two pill-heads on a spree
With nothing to lose

Indian wrestle
Your conscience on your own time
We need that name now

Two bourbons for us
And then there's the young lady
Make her happy too

It's not glamorous
Just a dirty filthy job
That's gotta get done

Punks and the misfits
They get all of the headlines
Seems a shame, don't it?

Don't be abusive
You'll keep it on the sidewalk
Don't disturb the peace

Gentlemen please meet
A new breed and a rare one
A pot-sniffing dog

For a five cent stamp
This lady will give advice
If that's what it's worth

Looking for two fuzz
Have you seen them anywhere?
Friday and Gannon

End of the line son
Hand over that hand grenade
The party's over

Something special here
Inside this sealed envelope
There's two grams of pot

There's just one more thing
I'll need some marijuana
That oughta do it

Corned beef goat milk cheese
Peanut butter horse radish
Awful good sandwich

I know what to do
Whenever I get tickets
I just tear them up

Delinquents, weirdos
Hippies, pill-heads, freaks, potheads
The youth of today

No lecture today
You just caught yourself a break
I don't have the time

Yeah man, you guys pigs?
I got some real dynamite
Five bricks and one lid

One more move mister
Or one twitch of an eyelid
You'll know how dead feels

Well here are the words
Can you supply the music?
Something for the kids

Man you're outta sight
You wanna bust me for what
A roach and two joints?

Let's see what I got
Coffee Joe? It's pretty good
I made it myself

Now how about her?
That blonde's a pretty girl, too
Yeah, she'll do all right

Always complaining
Some broads think they know it all
All body no brain

Now listen mister
Your funny time's running out
Come on let's have it

Police officers!
Everybody just stay put
You're under arrest

Settle down lady
People still kill each other
That's not gonna change

You don’t understand
I've got hay fever you know
There’s no remedy

You throw a party
And that badge gets in the way
You lost your first name

Girls and booze and food
And gambling till all hours
That's what they promised

Well you're a big girl
You can begin by kneeling
It's one place to start

I have a theory
That sums it up in two words
What's that? Get involved

That's about enough
There's a monkey on your back
Now you get it off

It reads just like this
The good outnumber the bad
Makes a dull report

We are different
In this temple LSD
Is a sacrament

I don't lie to them
I don't deceive young people
I offer them truth

I judge LSD
By the company it keeps
And it sickens me

You don't understand
It's absolutely senseless
My body is mine

Then there’s teenagers
A few dig what's going on
But most of them don't

Got a spring someplace
It's wound a little too tight
So keep pushing me

I know what I know
She's dead and she was pretty
And now it's too late

The verbal abuse
I can hear it everyday
We're walking targets

You know what they say
Gamblers make lousy lovers
You can bet on it

Joe one of these days
You're gonna make a career
For some poor woman

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Comments

[Listener Greg G.]

And I useta think poetry was over my head! Another masterpiece.

[Vic]

World class! Better than Phil Rizzuto!!

[Johnny Drongo]

Were any of those from Blue Boy?