What the hell is going on with the CIA? They seem to be screwing up everything these days - they can't seem to figure out which folks they should be disappearing and which folks they should search before letting into the secret bunkers. But a new report suggests that things are REALLY bad at Langley, somehow that guy who wrote FAG on everyone's locker in high school is now in charge!
According
to the Guardian our secret service came up with the brilliant plan of
making a Saddam Sex tape. A few young brown-skinned agents were to be
shown having sex with a Saddam look alike! Someone pulled the plug
before the cameras rolled "but that did not stop a CIA video being shot
of a fake Osama bin Laden sitting around a camp fire, drinking booze
and boasting of his own gay conquests." !!!
Our psyops are clearly bereft of good ideas. Feeling generous this morning I am going to offer them a free idea.
How to deal with Osama Bin Laden/Taliban/Al Qaeda for once and for all:
Denied
the opportunity to go goth, many youth in the middle east turn to Jihad
to deal with their angst and Osama is still one of the top google
results. I say keep the video, guys in turbans
sitting around a camp fire drinking is a good start. But instead of a
gay thing, make it a secret meeting of the top Taliban and Al Qaeda
commanders paying tribute to their supreme leader Osama Bin Laden. But
then have Osama remove his rubber beard and reveal that he is actually
George W. Bush! Now let me explain why this is the most awesome idea
ever and not a five year old stale photoshop joke: The CIA uses the
REAL ACTUAL George Bush for this video - and they film it on his ranch in Crawford, Texas. I think George
would be totally down for this, he's not really doing much anymore, plus it would totally go to #1 on
youtube. I mean Americans would know it is fake of course, but no
Muslim kid would ever ever want to join Jihad again.
Ok, now that I have typed this up - maybe it is the most stupid idea ever, perhaps you have a better one? But we need to do something, the CIA needs our help!
the fatal flaw of that plan is that, yes no Muslim kids are going to join Al Qaeda, BUT the southern redneck population, the NRA, evangelicals, the kind people who got him elected twice, will join Al Qaeda, and those are arguably the most dangerous people in the world.
Posted by: bruce | May 27, 2010 at 03:37 PM
Its funny.
Posted by: Sister Hairy Hymen | May 27, 2010 at 11:25 PM
i would actually pay money to see that video and that's saying a lot...
Posted by: Prof. Grewbeard | May 28, 2010 at 01:40 AM
The CIA is trying to kill me
Posted by: Ill Bill | May 28, 2010 at 11:55 PM