The nineties were a dark time for popular music, a quagmire of overproduced hard rock whitewashed with the term "alternative" to make the masses believe there was something new. Little did they realize that kids raised on this stuff would eventually see it for what it was and rise up to destroy it.
AlternaBlast al·ter·na·blast - verb - To Destroy, mangle and fuck up nineties alternative, chin, & butt rock with the express purpose of exposing the saccharine mess that lies at its very core.
This isn't your daddy's Plunderphonics & Negativland , or the mash-ups popular at the start of this century. This is the sound of kids that just couldn't take it anymore.
Ryan Kuen (aka Balloony Tunes) is one of the leaders of the movement, and his YouTube channel is filled with video after video of him wrecking the foundations of nineties radio. I asked him about the origins of the blasts. "Well, a few years ago Big John and I would be driving home from shows on I-90 and we would entertain each other by singing the stupidest parts of the stupidest songs we grew up on. Things just spiraled out of control from there." From this sprang Hot Air Balloon Ride, Kuen's collaboration with the aforementioned Big John, otherwise known as John Elliot of Cleveland's Emeralds. Elliot's take on it is this: "Hey man, these bands damaged us when we were kids, this is just a way of us burning some sage to clear out the demons they left behind."
The first AlternaBlast I heard was Hot Air Balloon Ride's Oktoberfest, issued on Deception Island in 2007. I asked label head Chris Madak his thoughts. "You have to remember that this is completely misanthropic, the opposite of the hypnagogic pop idea of misty eyed crawling back into the womb. This is more of a Back to the Future as Terminator, going back in time to exact revenge."
So with no more further ado, my top 5 AlternaBlast videos -
Smash Mouth - "All Star" or "Dumbass play the fuckin video" - Lifephaser
Pearl Jam - Vowel Movement - BalloonyTunes
Korn Megablast - Lifephaser
Limp Bizkit Fred Durst Megablast - BalloonyTunes
Hot Air Balloon Ride STRAIGHT NOISE BANGER #2
Bonus - Grease - BalloonyTunes (Although technically not an AlternaBlast I commissioned this for a piece I wrote about the esoteric nature of the opening credits to the movie Grease.)
So hey, hope you dug my first post for WFMU, I look forward to posting my second one soon with either a list of my top five botanicas in Brooklyn or an essay about the ancient wisdom hidden in the headlines of the New York Post.
Looks like they're just ripping off Martin Arnolds experimental films to a less unsuccessful degree.
Posted by: Me | July 14, 2010 at 12:51 AM
These are kind of lame... and come 10+ years too late to be of much interest.
Posted by: Emile | July 14, 2010 at 08:11 AM
It's pretty much youtube poops for bad 90s music videos instead of bad 90s video game cartoons. Which, of course, I dig. Any idea if Hot Air Balloon Ride is doing any more live alternablast shows anytime soon?
Posted by: kylie | July 14, 2010 at 08:47 AM
So the 90s kids hated alterna-rock as much as I did. Wow! That's news to me. Maybe they could've dug deeper into the past and heard all the groovy non-suck stuff I listened to as an 80s kid. Lol... Maybe then 'modern music' wouldn't continue to suck today. Can't wait to read about the botanicas.
Posted by: LJP | July 14, 2010 at 08:48 AM
I agree!!! Only the first and original person to approach an idea deserves to be enjoyed. David Bowie being the PERFECT example. Good times and banishing the demons of youth, belong only to those with seminal thought. All others should accept their Kafka in 1984 fates with open arms and willingness in their hearts.
Posted by: Die Organizer | July 14, 2010 at 08:51 AM
Really into the Grease one, especially from around 00:50 to 01:20. Transcendental!
Posted by: Alan | July 14, 2010 at 08:53 AM
I agree!!! Only the first I agree!!! and original original original person to approach an idea deserves Only the first first first and original person deserves to be to be enjoyed deserves to be enjoyed. I agree!!! Only the first and original original person deserves to be enjoyed. Only the first deserves to be and deserves to be enjoyed. Only I agree!!! the original to approach a person deserves first to be enjoyed. original person to be enjoyed. Only the first deserves seminal thought
Posted by: Original Thinker | July 14, 2010 at 08:54 AM
this wasn't a good idea when i did it eight years ago.
Posted by: Arfortiyef | July 14, 2010 at 08:55 AM
+ Tim and Eric and DJ Screw
Posted by: LeBron | July 14, 2010 at 08:56 AM
I need to make an apology, being new to TypePad I was messing around in the CMS and somehow erased the original six comments. They are below the first two at the top.
As far as the comments go, Original Thinker's TextBlast of Die Organizers was a highlight, and Alan, yes, that part of the Grease Blast is indeed transcendental. To the people that pointed out that they are lame, they are rip offs, they aren't a good idea, nobody is going to argue with you about this.
Posted by: Steve | July 14, 2010 at 09:27 AM
Which is I guess the point, Steve. But wouldn't one have been enough? For my money, Vowel Movement would be that one. Makes the point, and is a clever revelation.
I found the telecult blog and associated links most curious; are people really interested in this stuff now? Remarkable.
Posted by: K. | July 14, 2010 at 10:46 PM
@K., yeah, Vowel Movement is my favorite too, but the others have their charms. Thanks for checking out the Temple of Pei (telecult) blog but not sure what you mean about if people are interested in this stuff now?
Posted by: Steven | July 16, 2010 at 12:48 AM
Oh, just that the whole OTO/Golden Dawn thing is something I associate with the geriatric set. By that I mean, my discussions about the subject are largely limited to my friends over 60. I do remember in the 90's there was a resurgence of interest in this material. Perhaps now the same?
Ultimately that kind of magick is about manipulating people and social spaces. When I think about the people today who most exemplify the methods and practices, I think about people like Frank Luntz and Rush Limbaugh. Not that these people are in the OTO ( although I wouldn't at all be surprised to find them there ), but that they have really advanced and refined the methods of programming other people. When you reach that understanding, you may or may not find your interest wane in the subject, depending on your nature. For me, I get a lot more out of the physical/natural spaces than the social ones, so the hard sciences are much more attractive to me. Oddly enough, that little clip on your blog where Vaughn Bode talks about his Cheech Wizard being "a wizard but not like what you think; his magic is tricking people. Like how he gets all those broads, that must be magic" really nails the geist in the zeit.
Do post about your botanicas. I had a lot of fun checking those things out in Brooklyn when I lived there. I used to buy all the weirdest figurines as christmas presents for my wife. She incorporated many of them in her paintings to striking effect. The masturbating devils come immediately to mind, you know what I'm talking about yes?
Posted by: K. | July 16, 2010 at 12:00 PM
here's some "real" plunderphonics-like,only even more messed up than that!2 -45 minute tracks that encompass the whole of our culture and others.psychedelic,and disorienting,samples on samples with "actual" songs in a traditional manner,(not that the songs themselves are traditional by any means)tying the whole mess together!throw in some hanatarash,boredoms,butthole surfers,suicide,kraftwerk,dub reggae,black metal,psych,and mix up well to recieve this most avant-garde,experimental,brain draining,molten,dripping piece of trash,to life! the band is:"SALEM CURBING",and the release is their second,titled:"BEAT CLAM GOES TO THE MEATBALL SOCIAL or WE ARE SCIENCE TITS!"
click here for part one:http://www.mediafire.com/file/wywzmlwmhtn/01
and here for part two:http://www.mediafire.com/file/jy4mw2bgiz2/salem
HERE'S THE FIRST ALBUM AS WELL:
part 1:http://www.mediafire.com/file/t2limju3yy2/1-salem
parts 2 and 3:http://www.mediafire.com/file/wgtcdzgytzz/salem
the second half features a hilariously dumb spoof of jeopardy,with the real alex trebek,in full force!this is the new music.music that will be quite common in this galaxy,long after our children's children have died.but for now it is a 3 -hour glimpse into the future of music,and all the culture and vigor of the past,present,and soon to be.WARNING:this will make you feel a wide array of feelings,as it is very much buried in the subconcious,and if awakened,may turn you into a drooling idiot! thanks this is G O D,signing off!come check out my blog at:
http://sluggisha.blogspot.com
for tons more music you will find nowhere else in the world!latest post is:
"100 BANDS-POPEIL PUNK/K-TEL KORE",a compilation of 100 all-new bands(their 1st recordings,ever!)in 2 new genres of music.talk about the future of music!this is sure to twist your melon! thanks again-
G O D
Posted by: G O D | July 20, 2010 at 08:05 PM
My 4 year-old just heard the "Grease" one playing and said "Conky 2000 ready to assist you PeeWee". So, I guess Paul Reubens deserves some credit?
Posted by: Haggerhoven | August 03, 2010 at 12:14 PM