The Top 10 Records in My Collection I Don't Know What Are

For my top of the pops 2010 list I had planned to post the Top 10 records in my collection I don't know what are: a grand idea difficulticized by the fact that I also, then, don't know where to file them (or more pointedly, where I might have decided to file them at some point in the past). So it was only through painstaking and occasional labor starting somewhere around Dec. 29, 2010, that I was able to locate these mysterious recordings. Once I'd sorted that out I had to learn how to use a computer. So true, it's late, but it's also timeless.

If anyone reading this is the owner, creator or rights-holder for any of these recordings, and should they decide to send me a cease-and-desist, then, well, I'll know who made the record, right? So it's pretty much win-win.

The first is probably my favorite of the lot. I think I used to know what this piece of potty-mouthed political incorrectness was, but maybe I just remember when I bought it. Anyway, there's no text anywhere on the cover or vinyl, just this drawing of Stephen Hawking.
 


Stephen Hawking Song

Number two on the miss parade is a weird bit of electo something called "Men in Love." This is my favorite track, although some others get more beat-oriented. I remember getting this at a music festival where, presumably, someone involved played. I think it was, like, experimental or something. The disc, at least, is Canadian.

Men in Love

Record number three is, I imagine, clearly identified - if you read Japanese. I bought it on the cheap thinking it'd be some nice traditional stuff, and maybe it is. What do I know. But it's bluesier and more gutteral than what would be used to represent the traditional in, say, a James Bond movie.

Japanese CD

Number four I know who is, but I don't know what is. I bought this Fela tape on the street in the East Village. There was something about the coarse paper on the insert and the rough sticker on the cassette that called out to me. It's clearly a vinyl dub, and has no label or catalog number. I like to pretend it's an actual home dub that Fela sold at The Shrine in Nigeria. Sadly, it's probably easier to prove that wrong than right.

Fela

I bought exhibit five, which we'll call "Nightgown" at a little noise boutique in New York City. It was pretty cheap and I liked how carefully it was sewn together. Coudln't tell what it was, but somehow that's how we swing. I was reluctant to open it because doing so would mean tearing it apart. After a couple months, however, I decided the time had come to hear this mysterious music. Inside I found a blank CD-r with black Sharpee scribbles where you might expect to find something like a title or a name.

The second half of our collection here was saved from the ashcan at a high school in Vermont. These are obviously instructional records, or at least I think they obviously are. But they get a bit weird, and the covers could pass for something by one of those hip rock bands with complicated shoes. There's no text on them anywhere, though presumably they were boxed together at some point. They, too, seem to be from Canada. And I know nothing about the Canadian educational system.

 

Fruit Stand

 

Man

 

 

Rocks

 

Trees

 

Whale

 

The first person to correctly identify any of these audio documents in the comments with proof will get a rip of the full recording. If they want it.

Comments

[twitter.com/taro3yen]

"...thinking it'd be some nice traditional stuff, and maybe it is. What do I know. But it's bluesier and more guttural than what would be used to represent the traditional..."

The traditional folk music is from Okinawa--aka the Kingdom of Ryukyu--until the butthead Japanese started raiding it 1600s. Japan only annexed Okinawa 1868, so the cultural feel of the music is quite different than mainstream Japanese. Okinawan music is "bluesier" for the same reason as the Blues: The Okinawan people have been subjugated for centuries (and in some ways continue to be).

The upside-down photo on the right-hand portion of the CD reads something like 'Folksongs of Okinawa, various artists'.

If you post a larger scan so that the bottom left corner of the CD cover is legible where it says "TBCI 1100-38"(???) and state the track number of the MP3 selection, I could tell you the name of the song, artist, etc.

[Tom Bogdon]

I have no idea what the "Japanese cd" is but I'd sure love a rip of it, it's brilliant...

[@msrando]

嘉手苅林昌
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rinsh%C5%8D_Kadekaru

[David B. Wilson]

Initially I thought the first one was MC Hawking of "Fuck The Creationists" fame, but I don't believe he recorded any DMX covers. Far out.

[EH]

I have the Hawking and bought it new. It's MC Hawking before MC Hawking, i.e. it was a pre-copycat, i.e. done by someone else.

[Editor B]

Did you post a track for "nightgown"?

[Editor B]

Also the "trees" link should be http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KU/trees.mp3 I think.

[Kurt Gottschalk]

hi, b. thanks for the catch on "trees." i accidentally used my mortal world initials. as for 'nightgown,' what i purchased that time was, as it turned out, a blank cd, which i'd be happy to rip for you.

[Kurt Gottschalk]

eh - are you saying that this was mc hawking in principle but not by name? in which case i still need a name!

[Kurt Gottschalk]

嘉手苅林昌 - you just recognize the track?

and i'll be glad for translations...

[O S I B I S A B A (osibisaba.blogspot.com)]

The live Fela cassette is a rip of an lp released in 1977 on the Afrodisia label. Here's side one, J. J. D., at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFJLDD2PQMc.

[EH]

And the cat# in the etching reveals the mystery!
http://www.discogs.com/Team-Shadetek-Rougher-Ride/release/233966

News to me, too! :)

[kurt gottschalk]

well played, eh! and we now know the record is worth $4 too.

would you like me to rip the flip for you?

[Editor B]

Ah! I missed the key word "blank"first time thru. How silly of me.

[James]

嘉手苅林昌 is his name. It says it on the corner of the cd in red, but it's upside down.

[Bryn]

I can't comment on the music, but the "Nightgown" cover is made from a page in a book called "Murder Ink: A Mystery Reader's Companion" edited by Dilys Winn (1977, Workman Publishing). I have my copy in my lap right now and I suspect the many appealing graphics contained in the book would make it ripe for an artist to dissect for a series of handmade CD's.

[Kurt Gottschalk]

interesting. thanks.

[maritimum]

Love the japanese cd - ordered a Rinsho Kadekaru cd only to find out it is not the right one. Should have ordered "Ushinawareta Umiheno Banka". Would love a rip if you are willing...