It's A Strawberry Marshmallow Snow World

December 12, 2011

It's A Strawberry Marshmallow Snow World

I don't care about Christmas, or any other holiday equivalent. I don't even like funny songs making fun of Santa Claus anymore (Jimmy Stewart and Tiny Tim are still cool though). With respect to other people who believe in things that I don't, that's all fine and good, there's nothing ethical I have against the practice, I think it's good for kids. I have to admit, though, that the very concept of something that seems out of place at any other time to listen to it (whereas Halloween music is good all year round), the despicable novelty of Christmas music, the sell-by date of it all, it's disappointing. I don't care at all for it. It's in the background at Walgreens when I occasionally buy my cigarettes late at night, and that's it.

There's so much potential though, considering that it is a period of time that people uphold solely to make children happy (if not to keep Hallmark in business). A bunch of children are waiting for a fat guy to ride a flying mammal with a red nose and come down a chimney to give away tax free gifts, and "Silent Night" is all you've got for me? "Deck The Halls"? 100 years of pop music and "Jingle Bell Rock" is the best update to the concept of Christmas music for kids that the world can come up with?

Anyhow, I love Brenda Lee. I can listen to Brenda Lee Christmas songs any time of the year. They might make me occasionally think of mafia movies or nefarious sock puppet mnemonics, but her voice carries me gracefully below the threshold of impatience. For me, Brenda Lee still gesticulates a time of innocence and purity. Brenda Lee is who I think of when it is snowing enough to cover up all of the billboard advertisements on the once crowded-now desolate streets, making the world temporarily seem much more dignified. Bing Crosby was always churlish and glib by comparison. While I know that Lee didn't write these songs, I still consider them a rare case where the surrealistic candy land side of this overwhelmingly materialistic holiday, and hopefully, if some new pop star decides to do a Christmas album, they will bare this in mind. Bring back the Heat Meiser! Where is Dr. Seuss when you need him?

And happy birthday to Brenda Lee on December 11th!