World Cup Death Watch - Final Count
Headbutts notwithstanding, the most harmonious World Cup in history has ended, leaving a final body count of
78 79. The deadliest event of the entire cup took place in Burundi, where seven people died after police hurled a grenade and opened fire into a crowd of celebrants who were setting off fireworks. Burundi now stands second only to China as the country with the most World Cup fatalities. China had eleven deaths, although no new fatalities were reported there since the last update. The entire nation is reported to now be experiencing a post-Cup hangover.
But the spate of Asian heart attacks continued, even without China's participation. In Thailand, yet another fan expired of heart failure while watching the final. Tragically, a ten year old boy in England also died while watching the final, although the cause of his death is till unknown. And in Montpelier, the fifth French World Cup death was reported, when a young man was stabbed in the neck during an outdoor viewing of the France-Portugal game. In Salerno, Italy, a sixteen year old boy was killed when the car he was leaning out of (waving the flag) crashed and rolled over. And there was another flag-related death in Italy, when a 77 year old man fell while trying to attach a flag to a pole prior to the final game.
A 30 year old member of the Italian crime gang Camorra was shot to death by a rival gang members riding motorbikes, as he came out of hiding to celebrate Italy's victory in Naples. A 21 year old man in Barbados was also killed while celebrating the Italian victory, after being stabbed in the neck. An argument over the final match also prompted one Ugandan man to hack another to death with a machete. "Now I have come to finish your life. Never play with veterans. We kill anything," the murderer was reported to have said during the killing.